Tag: vets

End of life

What’s the hardest decision you’ve ever had to make? Why?

That has to be ending the life of a much loved and cherished member of the family, a pet.

In our married life we have had three wonderful little Bichon Frise dogs, who we have rightly or wrongly treated as our children, they have wanted for nothing and had the best that we could bestow on them. We have never had children as we can’t, we obviously upset someone in a previous life and that privilege and pleasure has been taken away from us. We needed surrogates and the dogs were those stand ins. We were very happy.

There comes a time where you have to let go, you notice changes in an animals behaviour, the little whimpers, the constant sleep and the inability to do things, the little looks you get and the realisation that their quality of life is deteriorating. Decisions have to be made.

That final journey to the vets, me driving, my wife cuddling the little package on the back seat and the fight to see through the flood of tears that are clouding your eyes.

The vets bench, the dogs wagging his tail, he’s ok you think, but he’s not. The injection to subdue him, he rests, the second injection and then he’s gone.

The lonely drive home knowing you have left a family member behind, the sadness you are going to feel everyday going forward.

The little things you miss, the what ifs? that suddenly come to mind and the guilt you feel for ending a perfect little life.

We’ve done that three times now and it hurts so damned much, I don’t think we will ever be able to do it again as the pain is just unbearable.

Life is full of hard decisions, but when it ends in the death of a much loved companion, I just don’t think there are many such decisions that are harder to make.

Peace to all. Be safe.

A day of necessary chores

Anyone who’s picked up on these posts of mine of recent days will know that we lost a very important member of our family on Friday just gone. Our dog Alfie went to sleep after suffering a number of ailments over the past years, culminating in a steep decline in his quality of life in the last couple of months.

It’s a tough and harrowing decision to make, bringing an end to a life that has brought nothing but intense joy and happiness to yours for the last 11yrs and 3 months.

But we had to do it, he couldn’t suffer anymore.

The hole that opened up in our family that day was immense. We stopped eating, our diet has been tears and cuddles and just constantly comforting each other. Along with this now is a list of chores that have to be done, like it or not his stuff has to be sorted, what do we keep? What do we donate? What do we dispose of?

Me, I want to keep it all but I have to be realistic, we don’t want to delete him from our memories as that will never happen, we don’t want to remove his presence from our home as it was his as well as ours. However there are unfortunate animals out there that would greatly benefit from Alf’s legacy and that’s what today is about.

Firstly we return to the vets, we have cards and gifts for the staff there who have all been super towards our little lad, we’re not looking forward to this but it has to be done, we have to settle his account as we left there Friday broken and gibbering wrecks.

Secondly we head to the Local dogs trust homing centre where we can donate Towels, Bedding and an elderly dog stroller

Thirdly we will go to the local hospice shop where we can donate other items, that again will help this wonderful charity.

It’s going to be hard, the house is going to be a little emptier today. But his legacy will be that he is helping others both canine and human, and isn’t that a wonderful thing.

I’m sure I will write a lot more about him on here and I’m not apologetic for that at all. My wife and I are still very raw about his passing and we will breakdown at a moments notice, however we are supporting each other, and doing what we can to ease the pain, and not forget him. Walks and talks are now our priority, it helps.

It’s amazing how, you can fall so madly in love with an animal, another species. Life really is wonderful and heartbreaking in equal measures.

Peace to you all