Tag: crap

You fake

Imposter syndrome. The black dog is back.

Imposter syndrome, also known as imposter phenomenon, is a psychological experience that causes people to doubt their skills, accomplishments, and intellect. It can manifest as a persistent feeling of self-doubt and fear of being exposed as a fraud. People with imposter syndrome may feel undeserving of their achievements . 

Wikipedia

I’ve even removed the final part from this quote, “and the high praise that they receive” as it embarrasses me.

I’ve pretty much suffered this issue the whole of my adult life, I haven’t made that diagnosis, that was made by far better qualified persons than I, that I have seen over the years. I can manage it most of the time and then for some reason I have a rotten bad day, like yesterday when I totally withdraw and slink into a dark area where I do nothing but run myself down.

You’re useless, you’re crap, you’re no good, you have no purpose, you’re a failure, you’re an arse, you’re incompetent….. you name it, anything bad, I quite openly said it to myself yesterday. I don’t know why.

All the arty stuff I’ve done recently, I just went and binned, because in my eyes it’s crap. A child could have done better, why show it to other people. You’re useless. I’ve had such a brilliant, positive attitude of late that I don’t know where this came from. It’s just as if I’m punishing myself for feeling good.

It was a bad day, and unfortunately I’ve upset those closest to me and I’ve now got to start rebuilding bridges.

It takes me to some dark places at times and I’ve controlled it so well over the last year or two, I don’t know where it came from this time.

That’s the problem with these ailments. You think you’re got it sussed and then BANG 💥 it hits you right between the eyes… it’s back, and it’s overwhelming.

It’s the retracing my steps and rebuilding those bridges I hate. I’m lucky to have understanding people around me, but just how much more can they take?

Peace.

Pinch Pottery Pt:2

Back in September 2024 I wrote this post about pinch Pottery: Pinch pottery

It’s been a few months and I’ve just decided to finish it off and give it some bright colouring and a sealant coat or two. I want it to represent a bright sun if I can, but when I get to actually paint it, it could well turn out looking totally different. Here we go.

This is one of those things I think my wife dislikes but she knows it means a lot to me, even though it is a poor quality and there are probably kids of 5 or 6 years of age that could produce something a lot better. But I made it, it was made at a time when I was grieving and gave me a lot of pleasure. It still does and this will probably remain in my workshop when I eventually get it up and running. It makes me smile when I look at it and i love it. It’s simple, it’s how life should be.

This is how it originally looked:

Alf
Reminder

I started painting the base Yellow, and the inside Orange, with the dog done in white with a black outline. This is what I have so far.

Just started to paint.

I’m using acrylic paints here. I’m going to put a line of vine type effects around where the yellow joins the orange. At the moment I’m letting the piece dry for the next 24hrs and then I will try some touching up and repainting what I have already done. The yellow coat is quite dull as it is being absorbed quite literally into the clay base. I’m kind of hoping that the next coat will not be absorbed so much, fingers crossed.

Multicoloured madness

I’ve gone with a yellow scheme for the underneath and a red – orange on the inside. I’ve tried the same type of painting that you find on narrowboats on Uk Canals, when they paint the buckets and metalwork with flowers. I’ve used this effect around the rim and from one angle it looks like he is looking over a hedgerow. It’s exceptionally basic, but it’s brightened up a piece of pottery that would otherwise sit in the corner unnoticed, discarded and unloved. You can’t miss this now, it just stands out.

First coat of lacquer
Fast drying enamel clear coat lacquer

The final task is to give a nice coat of lacquer to protect the acrylic paint. I’m going to use some fast drying lacquer that I have sitting in the shed at home. About two coats will be sufficient.

Before and after
Side decorations

I’m pleased with the outcome, it’s made me happy, and I smile whenever I see it. It’s kept me occupied and busy, It’s special to me and that is all that matters. It’s adult pottering and nonsense at its best. But it’s my nonsense.

Thanks for stopping by.

Pinch pottery

This last week I have been away at a lovely location in Norfolk enjoying a few days away with the family.

There was an activity taking place that was an introduction to pottery, and here they were going to teach a technique that has been around for millenniums – Pinch pottery. I did pottery at school and was ok with it but I never made anything to write home about.

A simple pinch pot

To be totally honest I had no idea as to what I was going to do, but everything I’m doing lately seems to be in memory of our little dog who passed away in August of this year. Still very raw, I think of him a lot, and I’ve made this little pot for him. Yep it’s crap but it’s my crap, it’s a reminder of good times for me, a cartoon representation of him and on the rear of it I’ve signed it and stated where I made it.

It’s my first attempt in about 45 yrs and everyone has to start somewhere. I doubt I will take it up as a hobby at home but I enjoyed it, and for a small period of time I was productive, something I have been lacking in of late. It was most therapeutic.

My finished masterpiece…not

It’s now home, and in the next few weeks I will paint and seal it and hopefully have a nicely presented little keepsake. You can see the finished item here: Pinch Pottery Pt:2

I love trying new things, I loved doing this and who knows I may book a class and look at doing more in the future, just not at home. The missus would kill me 😂

Boring…..

Scour the news for an entirely uninteresting story. Consider how it connects to your life. Write about that.

Well either the AI machine at WordPress is now working overtime or they now have a new member of staff creating these prompts. Either way, I’m not sure it’s working. Maybe the way WordPress attempts to steal information from us and gets us to freely give information that hackers have been trying to access for years needs to be reviewed.

I refer to the recent “list 30 things crap” or list this and list that, I’m sure you know what I’m referring you to if you’ve been scratching your head when waking up the last few days and reading these prompts.

If WordPress is the best there is, then I think it’s surely going to soon fail catastrophically. There seems to be an attitude of “we don’t really care” coming from those at WP.

Maybe I’ll start taking bets. I very much doubt the lifespan of this platform in its present state will survive the next 6 months.

I’ll give you evens at best.