Tag: criticism

Anger. We experience it every day, we even contribute to it but do we really understand it?

In my job I experience it every day, yesterday was a particularly bad day when a simple question, “How did you get in that door?” Brought a protracted rant and so much anger that I felt in danger of being assaulted at one point. I just had to walk away as the person in question had done a full nought to crazy in about 2 seconds. And for the last 24hrs all I’ve been asking myself is why? A simple question did not warrant such a reply and I was shocked.

Apart from that there is anger everywhere. On the roads, in public areas and retail environments just to mention a few. But why?

The gene or whatever that controls fight or flight seems to have become stuck in fight mode just like a switch that has malfunctioned. Everyone believes their understanding is the right one and they will not move from that stance. The ability to reason has disappeared and no one wants to lose face. That’s an issue, as you are a better person if you attempt to understand, absorb, consider and then give a constructive opinion on what is occurring.

But this ability has been leapfrogged and just does not appear to be used anymore. It is as if you are a winner if you can be the most abusive, loudest and the least unreasonable person within the issue.

You are not.

I don’t class myself as weak for walking away and not escalating issues, I try to calm an issue down, but sometimes it is as if the individual has so much angst and venom that has built up over time, that you are the one who unfortunately gets both barrels. Trying to reason with people like this is like giving them a cannon, it’s aimed right at you and the anger increases. You start to feel angry yourself, mainly through the frustration of not being listened to.

That’s it, the art of reasoning has gone. Oh how I wish for the days of constructive disagreement where every party had a say and could agree to disagree without violence and threats to life.

Why I feel this way after 24 hrs is just me. I pick over things too intently, I question myself on how I could have handled things better and then come to the conclusion that I did everything right. I now ask the question of “Why was there such an anger directed at me” for a simple question, and despite a lot of deep thought I just can’t give an honest answer. And I don’t want to get into the head of a person who obviously has deeper issues. I’m just pleased I walked away from this as I dread to think what the outcome could have been.

I haven’t answered my own question of, “why are people so angry” but I’ve offered some opinions. Reasoning or the ability to, or even the lack of ability is at the crux of the issue in my sincere opinion, and it’s getting worse as time moves on.

Is reasoning taught, or is it something we learn socially as we move on in our lives?

Maybe anger management courses need to become a staple of modern social behaviours and understanding.

Have a peaceful and anger free day.