Tag: heartbreak

A day of necessary chores

Anyone who’s picked up on these posts of mine of recent days will know that we lost a very important member of our family on Friday just gone. Our dog Alfie went to sleep after suffering a number of ailments over the past years, culminating in a steep decline in his quality of life in the last couple of months.

It’s a tough and harrowing decision to make, bringing an end to a life that has brought nothing but intense joy and happiness to yours for the last 11yrs and 3 months.

But we had to do it, he couldn’t suffer anymore.

The hole that opened up in our family that day was immense. We stopped eating, our diet has been tears and cuddles and just constantly comforting each other. Along with this now is a list of chores that have to be done, like it or not his stuff has to be sorted, what do we keep? What do we donate? What do we dispose of?

Me, I want to keep it all but I have to be realistic, we don’t want to delete him from our memories as that will never happen, we don’t want to remove his presence from our home as it was his as well as ours. However there are unfortunate animals out there that would greatly benefit from Alf’s legacy and that’s what today is about.

Firstly we return to the vets, we have cards and gifts for the staff there who have all been super towards our little lad, we’re not looking forward to this but it has to be done, we have to settle his account as we left there Friday broken and gibbering wrecks.

Secondly we head to the Local dogs trust homing centre where we can donate Towels, Bedding and an elderly dog stroller

Thirdly we will go to the local hospice shop where we can donate other items, that again will help this wonderful charity.

It’s going to be hard, the house is going to be a little emptier today. But his legacy will be that he is helping others both canine and human, and isn’t that a wonderful thing.

I’m sure I will write a lot more about him on here and I’m not apologetic for that at all. My wife and I are still very raw about his passing and we will breakdown at a moments notice, however we are supporting each other, and doing what we can to ease the pain, and not forget him. Walks and talks are now our priority, it helps.

It’s amazing how, you can fall so madly in love with an animal, another species. Life really is wonderful and heartbreaking in equal measures.

Peace to you all

Is there a cure for a broken heart 💔

If so I’m interested.

Yesterday was a vile day as at 13:20 we said goodbye to our beloved little boy Alfie. He features on this site as there is an album of his pictures here: Alfie

Our beautiful lad

He has been very unwell for the last couple of years but in recent months his condition has progressed to the point that his little body was gradually shutting down, and the wonderful little character he had was starting to wane. He was just 11.5 years old.

Those who do not enter into relationships with animals will never understand what I’m posting here, however I’m sure a good number of you will understand. To be honest I’m not really worried who reads this, I’m writing this as I do most of my posts for personal reasons and to help me express my feelings and journalise my thoughts.

We are heartbroken. We were never able to have children, so we took on this dog as we had our previous two, as a stand in for the child we could never have. And that’s how they were treated. They featured in everything we did as a family, they went everywhere with us and everyone who met them had a story to tell of the little antics they experienced with them.

Alf – our little fellah

A dog leaves his paw print on your heart. In fact a dog will steal your heart, he plays with it all his life and when he leaves you he breaks it into a million pieces. That’s not a bad thing, but it hurts to a level I can’t explain.

When my parents passed I cried and I was emotional, of course I was, but I have unashamedly cried more tears for this little fellah. I think the difference is that we were his whole world, he depended on us. We had to feed him, water him, walk him and look after his well being and for the last few years we’ve medicated, washed, treated him and ensured he had his ever growing list of medications. He was fully dependent on us whereas our parents were not and they had two families to help and care.

Alf was special to us, we didn’t go looking for him, he came to us under strange circumstances that I can’t write here. It was meant to be. He came to us and was with us through some of the most testing and awful times we have experienced in our married life. He was our comfort, he helped us, he stayed with us when others just walked away. He saw it through and though he was only small he was our little lion, he protected us.

Now he has left us, his job is done. For whatever reason he came to us he has filled our hearts with beautiful memories, however he has broken them irreparably with his leaving.

Last night was strange. I could still hear his little movements as my mind was playing tricks. In the early hours I could hear my wife quietly weeping as if she has lost a child, the connection she had with him was unique and now he’s not there.

I give her a cuddle and we just talk about him, we laugh lightly, but it always turns to tears.

We’ve had three wonderful little dogs in our married life, all surrogate children to us but they’ve all had to go. Alfie is our last. There will be no more, as the pain is just too severe and I don’t think our hearts could take any more damage. Their leaving is the most horrendous feeling to go through as the guardians of one of these beautiful animals.

Alfie

I took him for his last walk yesterday, to be honest it wasn’t much of a walk, he sat at the entrance of the park and just watched the world go by. We were approached by a beautiful 11month old puppy called dolly who wanted to play but he just let her sniff around, he had nothing left in the tank. It was then our time to go as we had to see the vets.

He built a relationship with two vets, Kian and Emily and they loved him. Fortunately they were both there yesterday to prepare him for his last journey. They were so good with him, and us, he was peaceful there, they treated him so well and he remained in our arms right up to his final breath. He knew he was loved, and he loved us.

He’s now gone, and we have a massive dog shaped hole in our hearts that the memories we have of him will hopefully fill over time.

If you are ever gifted one of these beautiful animals, remember.

They are only here for part of your life, but to them you are their whole life.

You will experience no other unconditional love and affection. And we have been very fortunate to have been blessed with three of the finest in our marriage.

Rest in eternal peace dear Alf, cross that rainbow bridge and there will be two little dogs on the other side awaiting you. Run free, no pain now, Mum and Dad love and miss you so much.

We will all meet again, and it gives us great comfort to think you will be there wagging your tails when our time comes.

Does anyone know the cure for a broken heart 💔