Tag: parents

Chewing gum wrapped heart

What was the most outrageous lie you believed as a child?

I remember one lie that was told to me around the early to mid 70’s by my parents, of all people. And I don’t believe that they were the only ones, as it seems my gang of friends around that time had also been told the same. With no internet on the horizon for at least the next 15 years at the earliest, I can only assume that our parents had some kind of “Parents jungle network” that they used, to actively spread such untruths.

That lie was, “If you swallow chewing gum it gets wrapped around your heart and can kill you”. Blimey. As an easily influenced 6-10 year old this would have been shocking information to receive from our parents who always talk nothing but the truth! Honestly they do!

I guess they didn’t approve of chewing gum.

It worked though, I never swallowed it, and that’s probably why in the late 70s and early 80s there was so much of an issue with discarded chewing gum on British streets during that period.

It was our parents fault 😂

To be honest it probably was not until we started doing biology in our senior school years that we uncovered the fake information our parents had given us, and when questioned about it, there was always the denial, “I didn’t say that, stop your lying.” You’d never win that argument.

Apparently it passes through the digestive tract as per normal as the body can’t digest it. However swallowing large amounts could potentially cause blockages but that would have to be some serious amount of gum.

Could be worse though, this was what one curious five year old was told by his mum. Courtesy of the Guardian newspaper:

According to my mum, when I was younger, you blow a bubble out of your bum. Why that was supposed to deter a curious 5 year old is beyond me.

Gareth, Graham UK

Enough said. Parents of the 70s – you have been rumbled.

I still never swallow it though 😂

Have a super day.

Ironing running shorts


What is the oddest way you ever accidentally hurt yourself?

I had this question my head and thought it would be good to post here. My mum, bless her soul was a beautiful presence in my life but her cooking and ironing skills were questionable. Back in the days when it was fashionable I brought a lovely parachute effect baggy shirt from “Top Man” these shirts were made fashionable by the likes of Rod Stewart and David Bowie in that they were baggy and naturally very creased. I think I paid what was about £25 for it at the time and that was quite a layout in the early eighties, it used a fair amount of my wage packet for that time. I had one use of it at the local nightclub before it went in to be washed, mum did the business on it and it came back totally creaseless as she had ironed every single crease out of it killing the shirts appeal instantly, and now making it into a grossly oversized formal shirt. “That was a bugger to iron” she stated, only for me to inform her of how it should look and my inherent disappointment of what I now possessed. Her reply was short and simple, “You can do your own bloody washing and ironing from now on then.” And that was how it turned out. From that point on I became an independent teenager.

Here’s where the story starts.

One night I was doing the ironing, I was standing with nothing more than a pair of nylon running shorts protecting my dignity, whilst happily singing along to the radio ironing my latest batch of washing. At some point i foolishly leant across the iron to pick something up, when the hot iron made contact with the crotch area of said running shorts and all I remember is howling like a wolf, and running around screaming at the top of my voice that I had burnt my privates. This brought Mum and Dad into the room, and howls of laughter from the pair of them as I had successfully welded the pair of shorts to the most sensitive area of my body. They were no help to me at all. As we had no car at the time father spoke to a next door neighbour and he kindly offered to take me to the A&E department at the local hospital. I now had two grown men in the car laughing at my misfortune.

A similar pair of 80s nylon running shorts

At hospital things didn’t improve much as the nurses were also laughing at my misfortune, I did however get the offending material “Peeled off” and that was not a pleasant task.

Arriving home later, slavered in ointment i was on the road to recovery. It was another one of those stories my parents enjoyed telling people of for many years to come.

I learned my lesson and made sure that from that point onwards I was always properly dressed when ironing. Underwear and a good pair of jeans are always used, and remain so to this very day.

Believe me the scar that remains is not one you can show off and boast about unless you wish to be arrested for indecency.

And therein lies the lesson for today. Us teenagers back then, very likely just as now, knew it all. We didn’t and they don’t. 😂

Have a super day everyone and be careful.