Tag: shorts

What is the oddest way you ever accidentally hurt yourself?

I had this question my head and thought it would be good to post here. My mum, bless her soul was a beautiful presence in my life but her cooking and ironing skills were questionable. Back in the days when it was fashionable I brought a lovely parachute effect baggy shirt from “Top Man” these shirts were made fashionable by the likes of Rod Stewart and David Bowie in that they were baggy and naturally very creased. I think I paid what was about £25 for it at the time and that was quite a layout in the early eighties, it used a fair amount of my wage packet for that time. I had one use of it at the local nightclub before it went in to be washed, mum did the business on it and it came back totally creaseless as she had ironed every single crease out of it killing the shirts appeal instantly, and now making it into a grossly oversized formal shirt. “That was a bugger to iron” she stated, only for me to inform her of how it should look and my inherent disappointment of what I now possessed. Her reply was short and simple, “You can do your own bloody washing and ironing from now on then.” And that was how it turned out. From that point on I became an independent teenager.

Here’s where the story starts.

One night I was doing the ironing, I was standing with nothing more than a pair of nylon running shorts protecting my dignity, whilst happily singing along to the radio ironing my latest batch of washing. At some point i foolishly leant across the iron to pick something up, when the hot iron made contact with the crotch area of said running shorts and all I remember is howling like a wolf, and running around screaming at the top of my voice that I had burnt my privates. This brought Mum and Dad into the room, and howls of laughter from the pair of them as I had successfully welded the pair of shorts to the most sensitive area of my body. They were no help to me at all. As we had no car at the time father spoke to a next door neighbour and he kindly offered to take me to the A&E department at the local hospital. I now had two grown men in the car laughing at my misfortune.

At hospital things didn’t improve much as the nurses were also laughing at my misfortune, I did however get the offending material “Peeled off” and that was not a pleasant task.

Arriving home later, slavered in ointment i was on the road to recovery. It was another one of those stories my parents enjoyed telling people of for many years to come.

I learned my lesson and made sure that from that point onwards I was always properly dressed when ironing. Underwear and a good pair of jeans are always used, and remain so to this very day.

Believe me the scar that remains is not one you can show off and boast about unless you wish to be arrested for indecency.

And therein lies the lesson for today. Us teenagers back then, very likely just as now, knew it all. We didn’t and they don’t. 😂

Have a super day everyone and be careful.