Tag: trust

We’ve found a place…and reality checks

Yesterday we viewed a house. We are both super impressed by it, and have instructed the solicitors to start work on it and have placed a holding fee upon said property.

The solicitors are already rubbing their grubby little hands, as within an hour of instructing them they are already asking for various payments in advance. I should have known.

The wife, in full supervisor mode

It’s a new home, on a site that I have passed more than a few times a day in the last two years of its construction, i witnessed the day they broke ground, so I know the area very well. It’s in a nice town about 12 miles from where we currently are, it’s pretty much all we are looking for. Believe me it will be our last move unless we hit big time on the National lottery. This so far is proving to be stressful beyond what I have ever experienced on previous moves.

Full supervisor mode

And I still believe the reason for that is the incompetence we have experienced in the early days of the selling experience. Confidence is still so exceptionally low that the sale will ever complete, and it’s strange that we cannot be excited as we are just waiting for the whole chain to collapse. We’ve never experienced such lethargy before and I can only put it down to how this whole process has evolved over the past few months. We’ve always been so excited and positive on previous sales we’ve completed before, this time though they have really kicked the trust and excitement out of us. We are but a shell of our former selves.

Anyway without sounding too dramatic, it will be what it will be. We are fortunate to have a home and if we end up staying here it is no loss at all. We are fortunate and must never forget that.

I spoke to my friend Ed today, he’s the guy I spoke about a few weeks back in my blog who has a diagnosis of stage 4 cancer in both his lungs and kidneys. He’s managing just superbly at the moment and his immunotherapy treatment is progressing just fine. Even despite his diagnosis he is so upbeat and chipper with a superb attitude.

And there’s me whining about a bloody house. What a prat. It was the kick in the pants I needed I tell ya.

It’s a horrible analogy I know, but someone is always worse off than you are.

I’m now saying thank you for what I have, everything I have been given, and for whatever I receive going forward. Just writing this post has made me go from down hearted and depressed to thankful and hopeful.

Thanks to my friend Ed, you have made me see sense and taught me a big lesson today. My friend, I wish you continued good health and I pray for you and your family on a daily basis.

Sometimes, a step back from a situation and a full evaluation of your current situation is all that is needed.

We all need to do a reality check from time to time. Today was that time for me.

And I am truly grateful for all I have in my life. I really need nothing else. Just be humble.

Have a super day my friends. Stay humble. Stay safe.

Eh….yes! Sorry

Have you ever unintentionally broken the law?

I’d be a liar if I said no. And so would a large percentage of everyone else.

The Uk is full of laws. Bye laws, little sub laws that we all fall foul of from time to time. Whether it be parking on a kerb in a hurry, accidentally dropping litter, allowing your dog to foul in a public area we are all guilty.

Come to Leicester and the quality of driving will shock you. There are probably third world countries (I don’t like that term) who have better road behaviours than what you witness up here. No one pays any attention to traffic lights, and by the way, Leicester have more traffic lights per mile than any other town and city in the Uk! Thanks for that you town planners.

Red lights here just mean go faster, you really do take your own life in your hands attempting to cross a road up here. Add to that everyone’s journey is more important than yours, and then that’s what adds to all the speeding and racing on open public roads. It really is utter madness.

Petty theft is high up here, shop owners lose an absolute fortune, however this seems to be a trend across the whole Uk as certain members of the general public decide, “ Damn, why should I pay? Nothing is going to happen to me anyway.” So under the coat it goes and then it’s away. The Police forces here are struggling to address this epidemic that is spreading across our entire country.

Personally it’s something I’ve never knowingly done, but if I did get away with not paying with something for some obscure reason, i very much doubt I’d go back to correct the situation. They’d have been a time when I would have, but I probably would not now. How times and attitudes have changed.

And this is it. It seems that petty crime, the breeding ground for more advanced crime has not been nipped in the bud and the consensus is, if they can get away with it then why can’t I?

Bang – there’s the problem. It needs addressing urgently.

So yes I have broken the law unintentionally on many occasions and I guess that’s the way it will be for the foreseeable future.

Attitudes and perceptions of right and wrong have changed, and in the good old fashioned way of following each other like sheep, that’s the way it will continue going. We lack guidance from the authorities, we have no shepherd to guide us anymore.

We have no law makers or politicians that have the necessary backbone anymore. And without good leaders you will never have committed followers.

Right, I’m off to probably break some unknown law or bye law. And I haven’t even risen from my bed yet. It’s a crime to be awake at this time.

Stay safe. Peace.

Farm work

What’s your dream job?

To be honest I cannot say that there is any particular job that I have a dream of doing. When I was younger I went through all my options and opportunities and to be honest I think I’ve followed the best course of work activity throughout my career so far. That school careers officer knew his job.

It’s the old observation of whether you dream to do a job so much, that in reality, after you have done it for a while it then becomes a chore. I spent a lot of time in my early 30s doing my city and guilds exams in electronics, my choice, as it was a hobby and I wanted to learn more. Many people said to me at the time,“Why don’t you use that set of qualifications to branch out into that business?” But do you know what? I didn’t want to do that as I loved the hobby so much I didn’t want to fall out of love with it, I didn’t want it to become a day to day existence, something to tire of.

As I branch out into my latter years I’d love to work on a farm, I’d love to be a custodian of some land and have responsibilities for its upkeep and the animals and creatures that live there. A big woodland where I tend to nature, monitor and assist with its upkeep. Environmental work, that’s what I’d love to do now.

I could do this on a part time basis, as the local woodland trust actively encourages involvement in such projects in our area. The only issue is that my shifts at work kind of restrict me with taking part. Maybe this is a decision to be taken into consideration when I look at my retirement options within the next few years.

Have a glorious day.

We are all judgemental

Are you a good judge of character?

People are a puzzle, I think we all know that. Some say we shouldn’t judge people but those same people may have well been stung as a result in the past. It’s hard to avoid being judgemental, and to be honest it’s hard to imagine anyone’s survival by not being judgemental. And thats why we have the saying “ Once stung, twice shy” it came about for a reason and that reason probably was that someone had trusted someone when perhaps they should have been a bit more wary. I direct you to an earlier post I wrote: Trust

Being judgemental does not mean you are nastily caging someone and instantly putting them into a “bucket” as they say. Not one person can honestly say they do not judge people, do you not have someone turn up at your door and think “What do they want?” Do you not see a customer and ask “Why are they here?” This is judgement in its most basic, every day use. Now, when you instantly start labelling people all wrongly when you don’t know them, calling them all kinds of nasty things, this is very wrong, and you’d be a wise person to avoid this kind of behaviour. This is poisonous judgement of someone.

We all get judged, we go for work interviews and are judged, on a regular basis at work my superiors regularly check my competencies to carry out a role, this is all judgement and is needed to see how capable an individual is. It is in many cases a necessity.

A good judge of character has the ability to advance the process through to a number of other traits, one of those being trust. This may then lead to friendships as well, as you can see this is the natural progression of your life, this entire process needs to occur to develop social interaction and relationships.

Don’t say you don’t judge, you do. You just need to look back over the day to see your style of judgement. If it’s bad – make a change.

Have a peaceful day.

My Primary school teacher

Describe a man who has positively impacted your life.

This is an easy one for me. And to save repeating myself I will just refer you to an earlier post I made back in 2023 regarding this man.

Thoughts 25/3/23

That man was a teacher, absolutely the most influential man I have had the pleasure of coming across in my life. I had a questionable upbringing and my own father could have held this accolade, however he failed in most aspects of both mine and his life. He was a nasty, jealous and dangerous man.

Mr Twelftree however stepped up to the plate and was the polar opposite of my father. He was an exceptional teacher and mentor.

This man has, and will forever be the most influential person I have met in my life. The teaching profession has such an effect on young lives, and here I am 45yrs later still holding a torch for this man and his profession. He is an exceptional man, I would love to shake his hand and simply say, “Thank you”.

Stay safe, stay humble.

Not all of them…in fact very few

Do you trust your instincts?

Apparently there are 11 basic instincts in humans. I don’t claim that, that honour goes to someone a lot more aware than I will ever be. But I doubt he even believes there are 11 as I can count at least 17, but hey he’s a Psychologist so what do I know.

List of Human Instincts.— Waiving, then, the question of the order of appearance, we find the generally recognised instincts in man to be as follows: Fear, anger, shyness, curiosity, affection, sexual love, jealousy and envy, rivalry, sociability, sympathy, modesty ( ?), play, imitation, constructiveness, secretiveness, and acquisitiveness.

James Rowland Angell – Psychologist

Do I trust my instincts? Not all of them that’s for sure, many are stereotypical and people have certain predefined expectations of how you should deal with your instincts, but we all know that’s not the case. From the list above I’ll choose a couple that I believe I have trust in, the rest of them are pretty dodgy in my case.

Curiosity, affection and constructiveness i have in large quantities and I probably trust them the most as I am comfortable with them.

That said I guess I must be comfortable with Jealousy and envy, why you ask? I just don’t do them and that is honestly the truth, ask my wife it annoys her somewhat the way I approach these two instincts. In my eyes I don’t envy or feel jealousy I never have, I’ve always told others to admire, not feel bad about someone or their good fortune, they’ve probably worked hard for it and you just don’t know how they have struggled along the way. No one has the perfect life, there is a very fine balance and we are all aware that awaiting every high is an equal low. Life is a valley of walls we have to climb.

Jealousy and envy hold us down and do not allow us to move forward. A change of attitude can change your life.

I apologise for going off at a tangent, you get my drift.

Have a wonderful peaceful day.

Trust

Share a lesson you wish you had learned earlier in life.

I think I’ve stated in an earlier post that i believe myself to be a pretty good judge of character. This happens in my case fairly quickly, and though sometimes people say it’s wrong to judge someone that quickly it has saved me from some pain and discomfort in the past. That all comes down to one word.

Trust.

And in many cases lack of it. People go on about being disrespected, it’s thrown about today as if it’s a badge out of a jamboree bag, a god given gift to be demanded, whereas as a child I was told respect needed to be earned before it was given and I’ve always stuck to that what I have been taught. Trust ties in perfectly with this and again needs to be earned before it is handed out.

I’ve been stung a number of times when I’ve dropped my standards occasionally in the past regarding these words, it won’t happen again.

Yes it might make me appear a miserable old git, but at least I’m a protective miserable old git that’s no longer going to be taken for a ride.

Have a good day all.

Thoughts 30/5/24

What quality do you value most in a friend?

To be honest I don’t have many. That’s my choice and I could probably count mine on one hand. Why’s that? Because I trust them and they trust me.

That’s the only two things I ask of in a friend trust and confidentiality. If you can’t give that I’ll drop you like a sack of spuds.

Nowadays people seem to have hundreds of friends on line but I bet you that there’s a number of them more than happy to gossip and to be the first one to twist a knife between your shoulder blades.

There’s too many fakes out there. I don’t need that in my life.

Get a dog, they can be trusted.

Be happy.

Thoughts 26/5/24

What are you good at?

Trust

Overthinking, reliability, trust and timekeeping. In my eyes that’s about it. Others may see me differently.

In my 40+ years of working every conceivable shift I have never been late to work, I can be relied on there, of that there is no doubt.

I’m trustworthy, I can talk to someone personally get their trust and maintain it by keeping confidentiality. Something my boss could learn to do.

And my gosh, do I overthink things, it’s been a noose I have worn around my neck for most of my life and I can’t see it being untied anytime soon.

You can rely on me, if I say I’ll be there, I will be there.

Stay safe people

Thoughts 1/5/24

Do you have a quote you live your life by or think of often?

The respect quote is big for me and this picture below says it all:

Respect

The reason I put my dog up as the main picture for this post, is that he being a simple small canine he has this as his goal in life both to me and my wife and he delivers this daily without question.

Now let’s talk about humans….. nah I can’t be bothered to waste my time we’ll end it there.

You get my drift?

Have a good day all.