A year ago today we lost our little dog Alf. It’s been a tough year and I must say time has not been a good healer, it’s as tough now as it was back then and he’s left a massive void in our family structure.
I’d say now that if you aren’t an animal lover then read no further. You wouldn’t understand.
However if you have a modicum of appreciation for a species that loves another being, unconditionally, then please read on.
Now I couldn’t not answer this prompt after the year we have had. See this post from August this year: Is there a cure for a broken heart 💔 We have had three dogs over the 33 yrs of our marriage and each of them was a lovely individual character. All were of the same breed – Bichon Frise.
Muffin
Our first was Muffin in the early 90s, I have never known such a laid back and calm little dog, he was a super little fellow, not scared by noises and loved by everyone, next was Digger who became Muffins “Carer” as it wasn’t until later in life when Muffin was very old that we’d realised he was losing his sight and it was Digger guiding him around with strange little nudges to his neck and head. Digger didn’t like children and would growl at them but it was all noise, just pat him or give him a treat and he was your friend for life, he was the polar opposite of Muffin.
Muffin and Digger
Then came along little Alfie. We were grieving after Diggers demise and Alfie pretty much came to us. My wife saw a little pup being walked and went over to say hello, it transpired that the owner didn’t want little “Joey” and he eventually came to us. His name was changed to “Alfie” as we already had a budgie called “Joey” and the whole thing would have been confusing to continue that way. Alfie was a mix of his earlier brothers, he was as soft as shite, loved everyone (even children) and was a very big part of our whole family, I never heard him growl at anyone throughout his whole life, he went everywhere with us.
Alf – our little fellah
Alfie passed away on the 16th August this year. We are still very upset and slowly coming to terms with it all, as more time passes and allegedly heals.
Animals are the most beautiful of companions. They will give you unconditional love and affection in return for very little. It really is a blessing that an animal from another species can gain your trust and give you so much in return.
Then they pass away and break your heart into a million pieces. This has occurred with us three times in the past and I very much doubt we will let that happen again. We just couldn’t take it. Even though I am pining like mad to have the routine we had, I have to resist it.
If you are willing to give your all to love and support one of these fantastic animals, through good and bad and back again,then please go ahead and do it, you will not be disappointed. If you can’t commit to all that then please stand back and let someone else do it.
Three beautiful boys
Joy and love are the best words I can use. They are wonderful creatures that make your world a better place. Who else would you tell your most confidential thoughts and dreams to and know that no one else would ever find out?
Yesterday was a vile day as at 13:20 we said goodbye to our beloved little boy Alfie. He features on this site as there is an album of his pictures here: Alfie
Our beautiful lad
He has been very unwell for the last couple of years but in recent months his condition has progressed to the point that his little body was gradually shutting down, and the wonderful little character he had was starting to wane. He was just 11.5 years old.
Those who do not enter into relationships with animals will never understand what I’m posting here, however I’m sure a good number of you will understand. To be honest I’m not really worried who reads this, I’m writing this as I do most of my posts for personal reasons and to help me express my feelings and journalise my thoughts.
We are heartbroken. We were never able to have children, so we took on this dog as we had our previous two, as a stand in for the child we could never have. And that’s how they were treated. They featured in everything we did as a family, they went everywhere with us and everyone who met them had a story to tell of the little antics they experienced with them.
Alf – our little fellah
A dog leaves his paw print on your heart. In fact a dog will steal your heart, he plays with it all his life and when he leaves you he breaks it into a million pieces. That’s not a bad thing, but it hurts to a level I can’t explain.
When my parents passed I cried and I was emotional, of course I was, but I have unashamedly cried more tears for this little fellah. I think the difference is that we were his whole world, he depended on us. We had to feed him, water him, walk him and look after his well being and for the last few years we’ve medicated, washed, treated him and ensured he had his ever growing list of medications. He was fully dependent on us whereas our parents were not and they had two families to help and care.
Alf was special to us, we didn’t go looking for him, he came to us under strange circumstances that I can’t write here. It was meant to be. He came to us and was with us through some of the most testing and awful times we have experienced in our married life. He was our comfort, he helped us, he stayed with us when others just walked away. He saw it through and though he was only small he was our little lion, he protected us.
Now he has left us, his job is done. For whatever reason he came to us he has filled our hearts with beautiful memories, however he has broken them irreparably with his leaving.
Last night was strange. I could still hear his little movements as my mind was playing tricks. In the early hours I could hear my wife quietly weeping as if she has lost a child, the connection she had with him was unique and now he’s not there.
I give her a cuddle and we just talk about him, we laugh lightly, but it always turns to tears.
We’ve had three wonderful little dogs in our married life, all surrogate children to us but they’ve all had to go. Alfie is our last. There will be no more, as the pain is just too severe and I don’t think our hearts could take any more damage. Their leaving is the most horrendous feeling to go through as the guardians of one of these beautiful animals.
Alfie
I took him for his last walk yesterday, to be honest it wasn’t much of a walk, he sat at the entrance of the park and just watched the world go by. We were approached by a beautiful 11month old puppy called dolly who wanted to play but he just let her sniff around, he had nothing left in the tank. It was then our time to go as we had to see the vets.
He built a relationship with two vets, Kian and Emily and they loved him. Fortunately they were both there yesterday to prepare him for his last journey. They were so good with him, and us, he was peaceful there, they treated him so well and he remained in our arms right up to his final breath. He knew he was loved, and he loved us.
He’s now gone, and we have a massive dog shaped hole in our hearts that the memories we have of him will hopefully fill over time.
If you are ever gifted one of these beautiful animals, remember.
They are only here for part of your life, but to them you are their whole life.
You will experience no other unconditional love and affection. And we have been very fortunate to have been blessed with three of the finest in our marriage.
Rest in eternal peace dear Alf, cross that rainbow bridge and there will be two little dogs on the other side awaiting you. Run free, no pain now, Mum and Dad love and miss you so much.
We will all meet again, and it gives us great comfort to think you will be there wagging your tails when our time comes.
Foxes Den 
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