Been looking through some old photos and this one instantly hit me as beautiful.
A very young Alf staring out into a big old world
This was our little Alf back in 2013 at Camber sands in Sussex. We had a family day out there on a beautiful sunny, but wind swept day where we were all suitably sandblasted. It was Alfs first ever visit to a beach as he was only about five months old here. To me I see a young creature just starting his life looking out into a big old world of adventure and learning. To me it’s beautiful as it has a wonderful story connected to it.
We are all mortal and one day our time will be done. All we have in the end are cherished memories and they can never be taken away.
What’s the hardest decision you’ve ever had to make? Why?
That has to be ending the life of a much loved and cherished member of the family, a pet.
In our married life we have had three wonderful little Bichon Frise dogs, who we have rightly or wrongly treated as our children, they have wanted for nothing and had the best that we could bestow on them. We have never had children as we can’t, we obviously upset someone in a previous life and that privilege and pleasure has been taken away from us. We needed surrogates and the dogs were those stand ins. We were very happy.
There comes a time where you have to let go, you notice changes in an animals behaviour, the little whimpers, the constant sleep and the inability to do things, the little looks you get and the realisation that their quality of life is deteriorating. Decisions have to be made.
That final journey to the vets, me driving, my wife cuddling the little package on the back seat and the fight to see through the flood of tears that are clouding your eyes.
The vets bench, the dogs wagging his tail, he’s ok you think, but he’s not. The injection to subdue him, he rests, the second injection and then he’s gone.
The lonely drive home knowing you have left a family member behind, the sadness you are going to feel everyday going forward.
The little things you miss, the what ifs? that suddenly come to mind and the guilt you feel for ending a perfect little life.
We’ve done that three times now and it hurts so damned much, I don’t think we will ever be able to do it again as the pain is just unbearable.
Life is full of hard decisions, but when it ends in the death of a much loved companion, I just don’t think there are many such decisions that are harder to make.
Now I couldn’t not answer this prompt after the year we have had. See this post from August this year: Is there a cure for a broken heart 💔 We have had three dogs over the 33 yrs of our marriage and each of them was a lovely individual character. All were of the same breed – Bichon Frise.
Muffin
Our first was Muffin in the early 90s, I have never known such a laid back and calm little dog, he was a super little fellow, not scared by noises and loved by everyone, next was Digger who became Muffins “Carer” as it wasn’t until later in life when Muffin was very old that we’d realised he was losing his sight and it was Digger guiding him around with strange little nudges to his neck and head. Digger didn’t like children and would growl at them but it was all noise, just pat him or give him a treat and he was your friend for life, he was the polar opposite of Muffin.
Muffin and Digger
Then came along little Alfie. We were grieving after Diggers demise and Alfie pretty much came to us. My wife saw a little pup being walked and went over to say hello, it transpired that the owner didn’t want little “Joey” and he eventually came to us. His name was changed to “Alfie” as we already had a budgie called “Joey” and the whole thing would have been confusing to continue that way. Alfie was a mix of his earlier brothers, he was as soft as shite, loved everyone (even children) and was a very big part of our whole family, I never heard him growl at anyone throughout his whole life, he went everywhere with us.
Alf – our little fellah
Alfie passed away on the 16th August this year. We are still very upset and slowly coming to terms with it all, as more time passes and allegedly heals.
Animals are the most beautiful of companions. They will give you unconditional love and affection in return for very little. It really is a blessing that an animal from another species can gain your trust and give you so much in return.
Then they pass away and break your heart into a million pieces. This has occurred with us three times in the past and I very much doubt we will let that happen again. We just couldn’t take it. Even though I am pining like mad to have the routine we had, I have to resist it.
If you are willing to give your all to love and support one of these fantastic animals, through good and bad and back again,then please go ahead and do it, you will not be disappointed. If you can’t commit to all that then please stand back and let someone else do it.
Three beautiful boys
Joy and love are the best words I can use. They are wonderful creatures that make your world a better place. Who else would you tell your most confidential thoughts and dreams to and know that no one else would ever find out?
I’m going to be quite boring and predictable here, I’m a dog person having had the same breed of dog (Bichon Frise) throughout my married life, about 33 years now. Alf has been our constant companion for the last eleven years and is just an all round super fellow, funny little bundle of joy.
Alf – our little fellah
I’ve put Cats here as the worst, not that they are a particularly bad pet, but for me I have a severe allergy to them and their fur, so for me they are not a practical pet to be in my presence if I want to maintain an acceptable level of breathing. I used to have one as a pet as a youngster and that’s how I found out about this allergy.
Tabs – Feral cat
However there is an aside to this. When we purchased this house a few years ago there was a cat in all the outside photos of the property and we assumed the previous owner had one as a pet. We were very wrong. No one owns this cat known to us as “Tabs”. She is a feral cat that took ownership of this area many years ago and we live on her property. She is not scared of any animal, absolutely loves our Alf as she knows he is a right softy.
This garden is her territory, she chases foxes and any other uninvited visitors to the garden, she is an excellent mouser and will also bring evidence to the back door to prove this, much to the displeasure of the wife. She’s fed regularly by us as a result, and she is always missed if she goes off wandering for a few days as she often does.
So really there is no best or worst here, Im basing it solely on my own selfish “health” problems. She’s a lovely cat, I can’t touch her (she wouldn’t let me anyway) so we have a mutual distant respect for each other. She’s the dogs best friend though and they get on fantastically.
The dog has been through so much with us, helped us through some very tough times just by being a lovely form of stress relief for us. His companionship is without condition and his loyalty is unique. He’s my boy, he deserves nothing but utter love and respect. A true pet lover would understand.
Foxes Den 
You must be logged in to post a comment.