Nicknames

Very shortly I will be heading off to work for another fun filled day of shenanigans on Britains railways. Whilst sitting here at the living room table looking out to the road that passes by, I watched a van with a friends surname on it pass by, and that suddenly flooded my mind with happy and fun memories about old friends, and especially how did they get their nicknames.

A nickname is a familiar or informal name given to a person, place, or thing, often based on their characteristics, habits, or traits. Nicknames can be a fun way to personalize relationships and add flavor to interactions.

We had a little group of four that hung about together through our childhood years all the way up into the teenage years. We did everything together and pretty much knew everything about each other. There were only four of us so here we go with the explanations.

Balders – that’s me. A simple play on my surname, and that I used to have a constant crew cut hairstyle as a child, so bald by name and bald by nature.

Daz – his name was Darryl and his clothes used to always stink of the washing powder his mother used to use, that also just happened to be called “DAZ” again a play on his name and this time his aroma.

Doug – His name was Derek and he loved Wolverhampton wanderers football club, so we named him after one of their players at the time who had a suspicious “Mullet” hairstyle, as Derek had at the time, so Derek Dougan leant his name to our Derek, it was shortened hence “Doug”.

And finally the most complex and humorous nickname goes to our old buddy Mick.

We were walking home from junior school one day back in the late 70s when Mick was complaining of stomach pains, he was doubled over in pain, so he leant on a brick wall and began to attempt to break wind quite violently. He was unsuccessful in this activity and in polite terms, he followed through. Or in layman’s or younger speak he “Sharted”.

How we got Mick home after this I fail to remember, I think the stinging of the tears of constant and uninterrupted laughter clouded our memory of this part of the day, even Mick, a fantastic person was able to see the funny side of it all, and took part in that laughter. He had a lot of explaining to do to his mum when he got home.

Anyway, fast forward a couple of days and the three of us came up with the name “Mick muddy pants” that stuck for a while but was eventually reduced to the one word “Smudger”.

He, in fact we, are all still known by these names to this day. Sadly Doug passed away about two years back, but when we see each other, rarely do our real names ever get mentioned.

The phone I’m writing on has all their names in, in a nickname format. I’ll be seeing Smudger in a couple of weeks, and it always makes me smile when someone asks, “Why is he called Smudger?” You just don’t seem to see such childish behaviour in today’s world, and I think that’s quite sad.

Give me those old days of being out with your friends, rather than being stuck behind screens as everyone is today. (Me included writing this piece)

Keep smiling. Be happy.

Jumping out of an aircraft

Describe a risk you took that you do not regret.

This is a hard one to pinpoint to be honest. We all as a race of people on this big old world dynamically risk assess pretty much everything we do on a daily basis. I must admit I’m not a natural risk taker.

In my job I’m responsible for taking people around a live railway and the last thing you really want in that role is to be a risk taker. One foolish decision for me puts peoples lives at risk. I just don’t do it.

Now thinking of it, the biggest risk I probably ever took was throwing myself out of an aeroplane with an instructor attached to my back on a tandem sky dive. It earned a considerable amount of money for a Hospice in my local area at the time, but would I do it again? Probably not.

Let’s do it 😂

See, I risk assessed that activity to the point I’d never do it again. I took note of something my Father had once told me being a parachute regiment veteran. He said, “ The worst jump is always your second. You are fully aware of just what could happen”.

Probably the only good advice I’d really ever listened to from him.

Wise words?

Have a great day all, take care.

Silence

How do you unwind after a demanding day?

Silence. That’s the way to do it. However living on the outskirts of a city, silence is not always a viable option so I’ll settle for peace and quiet instead, oh and a cup of tea.

From the moment you arrive at work, your ears are open to a barrage of demands and orders, your brain filters them into some kind of chronological order and you deal with the demands accordingly.

When a spare moment appears in between all the organised chaos that single letter “T” appears in your mind informing you it’s time to consider a break and in a good old English fashion a cup of tea is the order of the day.

Getting the day started normally involves two cups before settling down to business and winding the day up is also another. Yes tea plays a large part in my unwinding process as well.

Not too long though as there are always jobs to be done.

Off we go again.

But nothing beats the end of the day, a comfy seat, a cup of tea and some well deserved peace and quiet.

The wise man will however, always avoid having a demanding day. I am not that wise man though.

Have a lovely day.

Happy Easter

I’ve been very fortunate to have my entire family around me these last few days and it has been a truly fantastic time. We get together very rarely and it’s hard to predict a date when this many of us will be together again.

It’s pure luck that’s it’s fallen on Easter weekend, and that’s just added to its appeal for me.

We are not in anyway a religious abiding family, in all truth I’m probably the most active one in that sense as it’s just something that gives me comfort, although I’m by no means a practicing member of the religious community and my attendance at a place of worship is woeful to be honest, nether the less it’s something I hold onto, as I’ve said before, for a little peace and comfort.

Today we have another family gathering at a family members house for a house warming, soirée for want of a better word. This will be the gathering where we all say our goodbyes as we swan off to all parts of the country after first making brief plans for dates, where the wife can work her magic and get the next “Gathering of the clans” arranged.

Prior to that though, a group of us men in the family will move off to the city centre to watch today’s game of football. We are destined to be further pushed along the road to relegation from the premier league, but it’s nothing less than we deserve as we have been awful all season. Personally I’d rather not go, but that’s the point of being a supporter, you give support through both the good and bad times. It’s very much the latter at the moment for us.

That said there will, I know, be plenty of laughter along the way.

It’s been a lovely weekend where the whole aspect of Easter has been observed. Togetherness, happiness, sadness, whilst reminiscing for those no longer with us and a time for giving gifts and compliments, and compassion for those who are going through difficult times, who couldn’t be with us this wonderful weekend.

It’s rare to have these weekends timed to such perfection but the wife has surpassed herself yet again with this weekend.

Later tonight when all the good byes have been said, the family messaging group will come alive with all the wonderful, fun and smile inducing pictures of this weekend. Memories have been made.

A happy Easter, or a happy weekend to you all, wherever you may be.

Stay safe. Be happy.

Bread and Dripping

What is the weirdest food combination you enjoy?

To me, honestly, I don’t believe any food combination I enjoy is weird. And that’s the thing with this question, with most people they would view their awkward combinations as totally normal.

Some choices early in life are made for you purely as a result of whatever was available at the time and in many situations as a result of what money was available. My early life had some really strange combinations that would be looked on as awful nowadays, but back then it was totally the norm.

I give you bread and dripping as one example.

All the fat that was accumulated from cooking during the week went into a big bowl on the kitchen window, it looked just like the layers you’d find in the earths crust as every layer of fat had its own colour and consistency, so if you wanted a snack, some toast and a scrape of whatever was in the bowl was the order of the day. How bad does that sound now?

In comparison to what went on then, my current combinations are quite tame, here’s a few:

  • Marmite: with or without cheese is glorious, in a sausage sandwich it is another level, cooking mushrooms in it is something else. Not everyone’s favourite taste.
  • My family’s pet hate with me is that I always have red and brown sauce on a Sunday roast. I get the feeling they’d rather see me eat on my own than in their company.
  • Beer and ice cream. I just love having an ice cream if one is available when I have a beer. I think the tastes are super complimentary.

Well, that’s a few of mine, what combinations do you enjoy. I won’t judge, that’s not me I’m just genuinely interested in what you class as a weird combination. You never know it might be something I’m willing to try.

Have a great day everyone.

No. It’s not just a mirror

There’s a little story that has developed here. Spring cleaning the house today and a mirror appears out of a cupboard and my wife has said,” You don’t need that, that can go.”

The mirror

At this statement I jumped up and unusually for me I gave the wife a firm reply of, “No” and told her it’s not going anywhere, there is a story behind that mirror and I then poured it out to her. Just as I am about to do so now to you all.

The mirror was a purchase from a Sunday magazine sometime in the mid 80s, nothing overly expensive but it always made me smile.

I’d just left home as my father’s abusive behaviour had taken a more violent turn. I was ashamed of myself for deserting my sister and mother, but I was just so fed up of being attacked both physically and mentally that I just snapped and left home.

I was about 18, I sofa surfed for a while, occasionally I sneaked into my workplace at night and slept there, I was all over the place and then found a spare room for rent in a property close by to where I’d originally lived. I had some stability in my life at last and was learning very quickly about moving on in life and the new responsibilities I’d now taken on. I then purchased this mirror, and would smile when I looked into it, it gave me some much needed fun and laughter in my life. Something that had been in very short supply for a while.

Then one night I broke when my sister appeared at the door, to tell me my father was attacking my mother, I grabbed the nearest thing to me that just happened to be a metal pole from an old photographic enlarger and I ran like the wind to their house. I charged up the stairs to their bedroom and stood over my father telling him just how I felt, and what a B***ard he was. I was about to bring that pole down on him when I realised he was in such a drunken stupor, he didn’t even know I was there, but beside him my Mum was reaching out to me weeping and calling my name. What she told me whilst we were embracing there is highly private and will always remain so, the crux of it was that she never wanted me to leave and begged me to come home.

I was back in that house before he’d even sobered up the following day. And that mirror I’d brought was on my bedroom wall where it stayed for a good few years.

I told my wife the story, and that the cheap worthless mirror was a subtle reminder of the time I started to turn my life around. I’d overcome fear of a tyrant and become the protector of the two most important people in my life at that time, my mum and younger sister. And I stayed with them until they both stepped away from this horrific existence.

A cheap mirror it maybe. But it still makes me smile. The wife has now said it must stay and be prominent in the house.

This picture was taken today, look, I’m smiling as I’m deciding where to put it up.

May it see many more smiles.

Punctures up a mountain

Describe a random encounter with a stranger that stuck out positively to you.

I’ve rarely stumbled across a stranger where they’ve had a positive effect on me but I’ll turn it around the other way where I may have had an encounter where I have projected a positive attitude to them.

I loved going on long mountain bike rides when I used to holiday in Cyprus. We used to base ourselves in a town called Pelathousa, about 6km up into the mountains away from the seaside towns of Polis and Latchi. A beautiful little town with very few occupants and stuck in a time warp, a wonderful peaceful existence, we stayed with friends there and it was a wonderful place to spend some time.

I used to strike out on some rides from here and this particular one on June 14 2015 was probably one of the most beautiful, hilly and memorable rides I have ever done. It was an epic ride.

I retrieved this information from Strava

I started on this particular ride well stocked with energy snacks and plenty of hydration, with the plan to meet with my wife and her friend who were going to be my support team at about the halfway point to serve the purpose of giving me a lift home if I was tired, or to give me some more substantial food should I require it, to continue.

My support team at the halfway point

After about 15 miles of mountains, very quiet roads and superb scenery that I just drank in, I finally dropped down into a small town called Stavros tis Psokas, a small town at the foot of the mountains. Here the elusive “Mouflon” a wild sheep can be seen if you are very quiet, and this was an exceptionally quiet place, you had to keep making little noises just so you could assure yourself that your ears were functioning. I found a little cafe, where the elderly owner didn’t speak English, but I was able to get across my requirement for a coffee in broken Greek/Cypriot. I just love Cypriot coffee, it was a much needed boost.

Cypriot Coffee

It was time for my return and it was a hellish mountain climb back out of the valley, however I was meeting my support team at the top for that much needed refreshment, I already knew I wasn’t going to give up, I was going to continue on.

I pulled into the lay-by at the top of the valley and was pleased to see the girls. It was lovely, I had the customary half way photo taken.

About halfway with my support team

It was here that we then became away of another vehicle in the area parked up on the opposite side of the road with the two occupants now walking over towards us. A conversation began, but no one understood what was being said. Us being English and the other two people being German, we were totally lost at what was trying to be communicated, until they motioned me towards their car, and off I went with them.

Flat tyre

It was plain to see that they had a flat tyre, they had no idea how to change one, and it now became obvious that I was their only hope, as there wasn’t a garage anywhere remotely accessible in this region. So after a tiring long ride I now changed their wheel for them, intimated to them that they turn back to where they came from, as it was only one of those temporary wheels, they shook my hand, I understood them saying thank you, they turned around and off they went on their way.

I returned to the girls now covered in dirt from the old wheel, washed my hands had a drink and some food and told them to head off on the way, they would stop every few miles and wait until they saw me in the mirror and then move on again until we eventually arrived home a few hours after the adventure began.

So that was my random meeting with a stranger. And what was positive for me is that no matter what the boundaries are we can always help and assist. And that is what was the big positive for me. I’d hope in a similar position of need that someone would kindly offer me similar assistance. It’s just being human isn’t it?

Have a great day.

Watch out, I’m the pilot

If you weren’t afraid of failure, what would you do differently?

Love this question, such a simple answer for me. If I wasn’t afraid of failure I’d train to be an airline pilot. I know I’d fail miserably in real life at it, and it probably wouldn’t be such a good thing for you as paying passengers, but wow, it would be one hell of a flight for me. I’m a bit scared of flying you see…

It would probably be your last flight, but I guess that’s why we always have a fear of failure, as in truth you only want a super confident individual in such a position of trust.

As an aside, we should never be afraid of failure, it’s always disappointing to fail, however it’s one of the ways that we learn to avoid future potential failures. It’s hard when you fail a task, but you are never a failure, you won the biggest lottery of your life when you were born. The odds of you getting to this point in life and reading this post are apparently an eye watering 1 in 400 Trillion.

Refer to this post I won the lottery…that day to see what I am going on about.

You’re most definitely never a failure. You’re always an achiever, a pupil of the university of life.

Happy days all…

Sausage yob

Anyone who follows football and knows the dress code will get this picture. Made me giggle.

Courtesy of t’internet

Chewing gum wrapped heart

What was the most outrageous lie you believed as a child?

I remember one lie that was told to me around the early to mid 70’s by my parents, of all people. And I don’t believe that they were the only ones, as it seems my gang of friends around that time had also been told the same. With no internet on the horizon for at least the next 15 years at the earliest, I can only assume that our parents had some kind of “Parents jungle network” that they used, to actively spread such untruths.

That lie was, “If you swallow chewing gum it gets wrapped around your heart and can kill you”. Blimey. As an easily influenced 6-10 year old this would have been shocking information to receive from our parents who always talk nothing but the truth! Honestly they do!

I guess they didn’t approve of chewing gum.

It worked though, I never swallowed it, and that’s probably why in the late 70s and early 80s there was so much of an issue with discarded chewing gum on British streets during that period.

It was our parents fault 😂

To be honest it probably was not until we started doing biology in our senior school years that we uncovered the fake information our parents had given us, and when questioned about it, there was always the denial, “I didn’t say that, stop your lying.” You’d never win that argument.

Apparently it passes through the digestive tract as per normal as the body can’t digest it. However swallowing large amounts could potentially cause blockages but that would have to be some serious amount of gum.

Could be worse though, this was what one curious five year old was told by his mum. Courtesy of the Guardian newspaper:

According to my mum, when I was younger, you blow a bubble out of your bum. Why that was supposed to deter a curious 5 year old is beyond me.

Gareth, Graham UK

Enough said. Parents of the 70s – you have been rumbled.

I still never swallow it though 😂

Have a super day.