journal – Page 2 – Foxes Den

Journal – Post four

Been a few days since i last posted, to be honest we’ve been that busy and enjoying ourselves that there has been little time to put aside any time to anything else. However, back home now, I’m sitting in bed as the wife watches “Who wants to be a Millionaire?” and i now have that time to spare.

I last posted about our spontaneous decision to leave for Devon a day early and I’m pleased we did. we took a bus to Brixham and spent a lovely day browsing old shops, galleries and markets and to top it all the sun shined throughout.

Our relations made contact and that evening we went out for a lovely dinner in the country side, one of those eateries that the locals keep quiet from the tourists, splendid food and fantastic company – their secret is now out!

Friday, we are still awaiting the arrival some more relatives so i popped along to the train station owned by Dartmouth Steam railway to check on timings for a trip out to Dartmouth the following day when they all arrived. Tickets booked, i took some pictures of the train working the service that day and then returned to meet up with the wife.

Lydham manor

The current batch of family had all gathered at a local pub, so we made the decision to join them, i then reacquainted myself with a local brew called “Devon Dumpling” that i’d last tried at a remembrance festival in Paignton a few years back. God was my head heavy the following morning, I’ll never learn. But it’s good to meet an old friend.

A night off from the family and we ate at our hotel and headed off to bed. Our hotel funnily enough used to be a napoleonic naval hospital, and a nunnery, this probably explained some unaccounted bumps in the night, that said it was generally quiet and comfortable.

The following morning we headed up the hill into town where we had a light breakfast prior to joining our steam train to Kingswear, where we would then catch a short ferry ride across the river Dart to Dartmouth.

Leaving Kingswear

We spent a lovely few hours walking around the town, what a beautiful town it is too. Lots of shopping by the ladies, we had a lovely cream tea at an old establishment where the floor was about 2 degrees off of level, this was strange as we were all leaning slightly to the left to counteract the feeling, I’ve never eaten at an establishment and came away with a pain in the side purely down to the angle of the floor and not because of what we had eaten. Nice place though.

Another trip back home to get ready for the evenings party, the train was fantastic, it always amazes me the engineering that went into making these trains. They truly are works of art and deserve to be preserved for everyone by the fantastic individuals that volunteer their time to keep these amazing beasts on the rails.

It’s rained… it’s been dry since we arrived and tonight, the night of the party the heavens have opened. The party went really well and a good time was had by all, much was drunk, eaten and all topped off with questionable dance moves by the “Dad” contingent. Memories have been made throughout this break away.

And today we have all departed to our little corners of the uk, in fact we even had family from Johannesburg and Sydney, their journeys are a little more complex than ours however they are remaining in the Uk for a little longer before they depart. We’ve had invites to go to Australia, but thats not for me, I don’t want to be travelling for those ridiculous lengths of time and to be honest I don’t want to go to a country where every animal wants to kill you, and i have a an absolute fear, or should i say terror of spiders. It’s just not for me.

We had a good journey there and back and we are back home to more rain, it’s like we’ve never been away. Back to work tomorrow night, with a smile on my face and some fantastic memories.

Journal – Post three

The last few days haven’t been much to write home about but ill give it a go. Tabs the feral cat is most reluctant to go anywhere near her new house despite the weather still being awful. We have tried to coax her in by putting food in there but she will only go half in and half out preferring to hide away under the winter covered furniture down the garden. That’s her choice, we respect that and we will see what transpires.

I have managed to repair a couple of items that you will have seen separate posts about on this site. I’m really enjoying repairing the old retro stuff as well as taking a trip down memory lane at the same time. I have these now restored to such a good condition that i am keeping these displayed within the house and using them in equal measures.

I’m looking at an old 70s digital watch that needs repair, it’s unknown territory for me but it’s something id like to have a go at. It’s only a low outlay, so there is no real loss if things go awry.

We’ve been shopping for decorating items for the ground floor of the house that the wife decided she wanted decorating prior to the arrival of family on Christmas day, who have been invited to dinner. We’ve seen wallpaper for the conservatory, paint for the hall and front room, but we just need the attention of an electrician and a plumber prior to these works commencing. That should be fun as no contractor seems to take on small jobs around here!

The winter heating is on. The boss lady decided it was going on, on the 1st October at 16:30 and I’m pleased to announce that it seemed to work in places. What i mean and i think i have mentioned it before , is that this is an old house that seems to prefer to stay cold, especially the kitchen and bathroom that both have a Nth facing aspect. They are buggers to try and get any heat into. But we will persist. One of the valves in the main bedroom has a tiny leak, nothing major but it will need replacing, hence the requirement for a plumber.

Work has been all that was expected of it in the last few days with autumn hitting with a vengeance. Leaves are falling at a greater rate than last year already as this year isn’t as mild as last, we’ve already had a couple of frosts and the trees are now doing their thing and letting go of their leafs. We’ve had a suicide that was quite traumatic for all involved, first for a while but even for these events we are now entering the season where more are expected, a horrible season for us all and for all those related to those who decide they just can’t go on anymore.

We’re off out for lunch today, with my in laws who live opposite us. Off to Rutland water, an immensely beautiful spot in the county of Rutland (Leicestershire) at a place called Barnsdale. I’m the nominated driver for today’s activity and it should be a nice afternoon away. However rain is still persistent as it has been for almost two weeks now, so it will not be dry, that is a certainty.

Tomorrow we are heading off for a few days to celebrate a relations 60th birthday in Devon. No work now for 5 days before heading back to a run of nightshifts from Monday. I’m looking forward to some nice romantic sea side walks, whatever the weather, and just spending it with the one my life revolves around, my lovely wife. I just can’t wait.

Alfs memorial shelf

I know I go on about him and I’m not ashamed of talking about him. He was a massive part of our life, and if you have never experienced the unconditional love of a pet I suggest you get one, you are missing out.

Alf, and footprint. Now complete with photo.

Today we needed one final picture to go into the frame that was supplied by the vet with his footprint made into a cast, taken when he passed away.

We now have these items on a shelf in a bookcase in the corner of the room. That’s now Alf’s shelf and it’s all about him.

We come here and speak to him, we wish him good morning and good night and regularly tell him what a good boy he is. We cry here, I’m doing it now, how does such a beautiful, peaceful loving creature get taken away, why do we have to suffer grief.

That’s life I suppose. We were given a gift when he came into our care, and we absolutely cherished that opportunity we were given. But we want more. And we can’t have it. You can truly have too much of a good thing, a sizeable piece of us disappeared when Alf passed.

I know at the beginning I said if you have never experienced the unconditional love of a pet then get one. I add a caveat to that, just be prepared to have your heart and feelings ripped into a million pieces when they leave you.

If you are not prepared or can’t do it, then don’t. You are not ready yet.

I’m not soft, I’m free with my feelings, I can be tough when I have to be, and believe me, cross me or my family and you’d know. But here we have 5 kilos of fluff that just stole our hearts.

Grief is a bastard. But it’s one of those feelings in life you sign up to as part of the bargain of existence.

Peace to you all.

Journal – Post two

Good morning all and i trust you are well. For the second instalment of this riveting read i will bring you up to date with what has occurred in the last few days.

We have advanced from Summer to Autumn, we still have ridiculous amounts of rain fall, and to top that this morning we have had a hardy spread of frost. I’m really surprised about the weather to be honest, as normally at this time of year we are holidaying in Cyprus and when we are there they always seem to have a heatwave back home. This year seems to be an exception to the rule.

The usual discussion of “Should the heating go on” is high on the agenda at the moment, with the wife staunchly stating that it’s not going on before mid October. We live in a 1930s house with the rear of it facing North, to say its sometimes cool is an understatement, it leaks heat like a bucket with a hole, but in the heat of summer (if it ever happens) its as cool as you like. Great Mediterranean architecture design’s shouldn’t have been a consideration of builders in the 1930s UK.

I’ve mentioned about the feral cat we inherited when we purchased our house all those years ago, we call her “Tabs”. Well a couple of days ago the wife decided as the weather was still turning that she was going to buy Tabs a house. During the winter months she lives either under the covered garden furniture on the decking or in the next door neighbours garden under a lean to. It’s been fun watching the wife trying to coax Tabs into here new home, she will go in if we put treats in there but she firmly leaves her rear end poking out of it….she still needs convincing. We have had disagreements regarding its siting, i say it should be down the garden but the wife insists it should be near the back door. Time will tell. I lay money on it that our resident Hedgehog community will visit and check it out before too long.

Work has been gearing up to probably the season we hate most and that is leaf fall. It’s fast approaching and we will no doubt have trains slipping and sliding all over the network before too long. It’s a real challenge to get sites treated before this happens and it’s a busy time for us on the ground. People may laugh and scoff, but just don’t understand the issues that we face. It’s real, and it’s a real problem.

We are both suffering the holiday blues after a wonderful small break away in Norfolk, hence we have now booked all our holidays for next year. We didn’t go abroad this year as we knew our dog Alfie was unwell and we had decided our priority was him and looking after his wellbeing, we had a beautiful holiday with him this year in Devon that we will forever cherish. We still have a couple of small breaks this year, one is for a 60th birthday in Devon and the other is down in the Twickenham area of London to meet with a friend of the wife’s for a few days who is struggling with her health.

Next years agenda is like so: January back to Norfolk for a relaxing small break. February we are back to Iceland as we love it so. June we are back to Norfolk for a big family gathering and then to top it all we have treated ourselves to two weeks in Aruba in October. Never been there before, heard a lot about it so we are giving it a go. I should still have some days available after all of this that we will use for days out etc. We haven’t been this organised for years, and we both love having something to look forward to.

I’ve been back to fixing a few items but to be honest I’m not concentrating that well so my decision making whilst fault finding is a bit shot at the moment, I’ve stepped away for a few days to regain some composure then i will return.

Working late shifts at the moment 14-2200hrs and they are full on. I have a day off tomorrow and I’m looking forward to that as much as i would a holiday.

Look after yourselves and stay warm.

Journal – Post one

25th September 2024

Today has been a so so kind of day. Here in the East Midlands it has been wet yet again. We have had so much rain in the last few days that apparently we have had four times the average monthly rainfall in just three days. It’s very wet to say the least.

Hence at work this has caused me problems today. People just don’t understand the effect water can have on the passage of a 2000 ton train, the water can undermine the stability of the tracks so when we have flooding, thats when the speed restrictions come into place. And my day today has involved completing a number of these checks to ensure all is well. On top of that i have had to deal with failed point work in the Melton Mowbray area as well as attending to a broken down train. It’s been a busy day, work started just before 05:30 and by the time i got back to base it was about 14:00. No breakfast today, no lunch as I didn’t get the time. Not too worried with that as we do have quieter days where we can do all of that. It’s all swings and roundabouts, give and take it works both ways.

Back home the wife has been playing catch up with the washing, not happy that due to the wet weather she cannot get the washing out for a blow, hence the conservatory looks like a London wash house as she engages the dehumidifier to dry everything inside. Good things these dehumidifiers, especially in an old house like ours, no damp here as a result.

The sister in law popped over with some old black and white negatives that she has found. She’s planning an anniversary gift for her husband as they have been married 55 years – it’s their Emerald wedding anniversary. He’s been a scooter fan since he was a teenager and still has one to this day, she’s unearthed a negative from when they first went on holiday together and its one of him sitting on his first scooter. I have a scanner so i was able to scan the negative and send it electronically to be printed, and i will collect it tomorrow. Meanwhile she and the wife have ordered a nice emerald trimmed frame that will arrive tomorrow for me to put the picture in. Her husband will love it, it’s a lovely memory and you can’t beat that. I love gifts that have had a lot of thought go into them, they don’t have to be expensive, but they can mean the world to someone.

We took a massive kick in the pants today when a very dear and lovely family member called to tell us she was undergoing investigation for that bastard big C. It’s only early days so we are all hopeful that it’s been caught early. She is so hard working she has learning difficulties and I don’t think she fully understands the seriousness of what she has been told bless her. We are here for her, and she knows she has our combined love, prayers and anything else we can do to help her through this damned unfair stage of her life. We love her so much .

We’ve spoken about Alf a lot today, its been lovely and we’ve uncovered more photos of him today, isn’t it funny that you get these photo memories come up on your phone that you’d completely forgotten about? His ashes sit on a shelf in the living room, and we talk to him as if he is still here. Well to be honest he is here, he was a massive presence even though he weighed littlle more than 6 kilos at his peak, he will be with us forever, and when we pop our clogs we will all be blended together in a big pile of ash to be distributed over one of our favourite places as a family. We will always be together.

I was wandering about aimlessly earlier so the wife banished me to the conservatory to do some of my hobby stuff, i was able to fault find a unit I’m working on and tomorrow i will start to do some soldering and tidying up. I also had a work colleague come into work with a set of lights that need fixing, he’d heard that i do this stuff so I’ve managed to land another little job to keep me occupied, it all helps to maintain the sanity and keep the grey matter active.

Overall it’s been a good day, with a sprinkling of the downright unfair, there has been plenty going on and I’ve kept active, just as i like it. But tonight my thoughts are with my dear relative who has had awful news today. I said this journal would be a load of chat about everything and nothing really, but sitting here typing this has made me look back at the day and realise that i have achieved stuff, may be nothing major, but it is so easy to sit down and say you did nothing today.

Write it down and watch your day unfold in front of you and say – “Yes, i did plenty of stuff, and i achieved something today, and people need me.”

Journal starts here

I kept a hand written journal up until February this year when I decided I’d use the WP platform instead.

Though this has given me ability and time to express thoughts and hobby information I think I’ve drifted slightly from the original intention. I need to start Journaling again, I have read through my previous entries in the book and it’s good to see what has improved, where I can improve and what has been successful. I need to go back to that, so from now on I will occasionally post some thoughts and feelings. Maybe it will help me. Maybe not. Who knows.

I’m still going to do the usual stuff and carry on the hobbies, that needs to be done to keep me out of a rut.

Last night, my wife openly cried in my arms, she is totally wrecked at losing our little lad Alf back in August. My heart broke when she cried “I want him back”. I was at a loss and I still am as I can’t make her wish come true. Grief is an absolute bastard, and we are both struggling to get to terms with it. I know time will heal, but I just don’t know what to do.

Hey ho, it starts here I guess. I will title it as journal followed by a date, so it’s easy for you to avoid seeing. It helps me, and who knows it might help someone else.

Happy day everyone.

Rate this:

Share this:

Rate this:

Share this:

Rate this:

Share this:

Rate this:

Share this:

Rate this:

Share this:

Rate this:

Share this: