Tag: angel

Our total love and devotion

If you could make your pet understand one thing, what would it be?

As I’m sure, anyone at all that pays any attention to what is written in these posts, will know we lost our best friend Alf, our beloved pet dog on 16th August last year. There’s probably a lot of you out there who are probably saying,“ For gods sake man just get on with it”.

Easier said than done I’m afraid. If you read the facts and figures, animal grief is just so real, especially in an animal loving country such as ours.

I’ve never really experienced it in such a manner before, but this time we’ve really struggled. I think I summed it up at its peak here: Is there a cure for a broken heart 💔 . There are a number of other posts about him but this one sums up the raw feelings when we lost him.

We’ve never been able to have children in our life, it’s complicated. Especially when you spend your life with the most wonderful woman who would have made the most fantastic mother, it really is heartbreaking to see her interactions with children and the love she shows them. Then in the quiet moments I really see how it affects her. All I can do is comfort her.

Alf – our little fellah

This is where Alf strolls in. He was to us, what was always out of reach, a kind of surrogate if you like. It was fate how we found him and he had the starring role in our lives for eleven beautiful years.

To answer the question: If I could make my pet understand one thing? It would be:

You were our love, our confidante our life. Our most precious companion. And we miss you so much.

Yes it’s more than one thing I know. But when a kindly loving soul enters your life and has such an effect on it, you just can’t label them with one singular credit, one word, It just can’t be done.

Life is a strange voyage. Sometimes when you can’t have something, you are blessed with the most perfect alternative. I believe we were blessed. His time came and he had to move on. I just hope some where, another couple who have maybe suffered similar issues as we did, are now experiencing some wonderful “Alfie” time. That little fellah truly had wings.

Love you for always lad.

Peace.

It’s unconditional

Can you share a positive example of where you’ve felt loved?

It was the 14th February 2018. Happy Valentine’s Day. I was told I had a cancerous tumour.

I was numb. We went out the following day for a lovely walk and all we did was discuss the elephant in the room throughout that whole trip. Even looking at the photos of that day I can see the false smile on my face as well as the concern on my wife’s.

False smile, worry in her eyes, not a good day

I went into serious withdrawal from life, as I knew it. I suffered severe depression. I didn’t share my feelings with the one person who knew me best. I kept it all to myself and it was all too much, I broke down. It was my problem, I’ll deal with it. But I couldn’t. I needed help.

That one person, sat beside me, she cried with me and she comforted me. She cuddled me. She stayed with me and she didn’t let me go.

It was at that point I experienced absolute unconditional love. There was a warmth that went through me, it’s as if she had taken all my worries and concerns and put them away for me, I’ve always said she’s an angel and she has this amazing ability to take away my problems and make my whole life better.

And I didn’t even share my feelings with her. That’s so wrong. I felt so guilty.

Guess what, I share absolutely everything with her now, nothing is held back, the silly issues, the concerns and worries. And you know what, her arms encase me again, that love flows through me as it always does and has done. I feel nothing but love, and it is my life’s task to ensure she feels just the same.

We beat the big C, or should I say it’s at the back of our minds and doesn’t overwhelm us anymore. When we talk about it we use the name “Fred”. The “C” word is no longer used in our home. It’s banished. It’s a horrible word, and my lovely lady did this to make our life less stressful.

My Angel. My Wife. My life.

Peace.

Journal – Post five

It’s been a hectic week work wise, I’ve been on the night shift and whilst everyone has been sleeping I’ve been out on the lines ensuring everything is good for morning start up. Apart from the relentless rain we’ve been having, it’s definitely getting colder out there and I’ve noticed the trees are shedding their leaves a lot sooner than they did in last year’s mild autumn.

I managed to get hold of a good plumber who came around to fix the leaky radiator valve we had, a nice lad and very quick, in and out in about 30 mins, easy job for someone who knows what they are doing. Proof will be when the heating goes on, but I don’t foresee any issue. A good contact that has duly been added to the phone book.

Sunbury on Thames

We’re off for another adventure of sorts, heading down to visit my wife’s elderly friend in Sunbury on Thames, a lovely town with lots of history surrounding it. I’m going to be busy doing some odd jobs that she’s been saving up for me, so to be honest I’m going to be as happy as a pig in s**t to coin a phrase. No doubt the visit will involve plenty of cake and tea, we really look forward to these visits as she is a wonderful individual. She’s struggling with things at the moment, but that is where my wife is the best friend you could possibly have, listening to the pair of them talk I realise just how lucky I am to be with a person like her, she is so good and understanding of other people. I guess her time and experience working with dementia patients in hospitals and care homes has given her this gift. She really should have wings, she is an angel truly.

Tonight’s my last night shift prior to driving down tomorrow, I’m kind of hoping tonight’s shift won’t be too demanding but I lay money on it, as I’m planning an early departure towards London tomorrow it will be a hectic one.

Fingers crossed 🤞 but we will see what arises.

I’ll give another update in a few days once I’ve got some of my chores under my belt.

Peace to you all. Stay safe.