Tag: life

Not a University degree

What makes a good leader?

Sorry if that title upsets a few but that’s exactly how it is in my view. I’m in a business where we actively take on graduates who have come from universities who instantly come into these roles where many years experience is normally the requirement, prior to proceeding in that role.

I’m not knocking the student, but just because you’ve been in study for a number of years and now have a degree in political history, this does not help you in an engineering rich environment. It’s wrong. A leader needs life experience, and I think it is unfair to place an individual with no such experience in a role that needs this expertise along with long gained trust. They need to wait a while, get comfortable and get a few years experience under their belts.

I guess this is my companies fault for pretty much setting these individuals up to fail, but to be honest my company is pretty good at doing this with anyone it employs.

Apparently, and depending on where you search there are a number of traits that make a good leader, here are just five that I believe to be the basic qualities required.

  • Calmness
  • Clarity
  • Objectivity
  • Empathy
  • Decisiveness

I’d also add to that, “Common sense” you can be the brightest button on the earth but have not a single ounce of common sense. I have this in my own family circle it’s not a thing that can be taught, it’s a life learning event, some people have quite a bit of it still to do. It will come with age and experience.

That said we will always assist individuals parachuted in to these roles, however it can be hard on the individual and sometimes tough for them personally. So let’s expand the above list now to seven by adding these two further traits and calling it a day.

  • Common sense
  • Experience

I’ve experienced this now in excess of thirty years within my role. In that time I have had many Managers but I can count the good leaders on two fingers of one hand.

Anyone can be a manager, absolutely anyone it’s just an excuse to throw extra work and responsibility at someone with little remuneration, but only a rare few can be a good leader.

Have a peaceful and pleasant day.

It’s unconditional

Can you share a positive example of where you’ve felt loved?

It was the 14th February 2018. Happy Valentine’s Day. I was told I had a cancerous tumour.

I was numb. We went out the following day for a lovely walk and all we did was discuss the elephant in the room throughout that whole trip. Even looking at the photos of that day I can see the false smile on my face as well as the concern on my wife’s.

False smile, worry in her eyes, not a good day

I went into serious withdrawal from life, as I knew it. I suffered severe depression. I didn’t share my feelings with the one person who knew me best. I kept it all to myself and it was all too much, I broke down. It was my problem, I’ll deal with it. But I couldn’t. I needed help.

That one person, sat beside me, she cried with me and she comforted me. She cuddled me. She stayed with me and she didn’t let me go.

It was at that point I experienced absolute unconditional love. There was a warmth that went through me, it’s as if she had taken all my worries and concerns and put them away for me, I’ve always said she’s an angel and she has this amazing ability to take away my problems and make my whole life better.

And I didn’t even share my feelings with her. That’s so wrong. I felt so guilty.

Guess what, I share absolutely everything with her now, nothing is held back, the silly issues, the concerns and worries. And you know what, her arms encase me again, that love flows through me as it always does and has done. I feel nothing but love, and it is my life’s task to ensure she feels just the same.

We beat the big C, or should I say it’s at the back of our minds and doesn’t overwhelm us anymore. When we talk about it we use the name “Fred”. The “C” word is no longer used in our home. It’s banished. It’s a horrible word, and my lovely lady did this to make our life less stressful.

My Angel. My Wife. My life.

Peace.

Rinse and repeat..

What is your favorite animal?

Just like a record on repeat or just like a commercial radio station, or even like a moon orbiting a planet WP starts repeating its daily prompts, you could almost set a clock to it as it has such amazing regularity. This particular prompt was last listed on 23rd November 2024, not that long ago.

So unlike WP I will save the bother of re writing my answer, and just post links to the relevant blogs below. If you are busy and don’t have the time the simple answer is: Dogs are my domesticated favourite whilst Hedgehogs are my wild favourite. There, I’ve saved you some time and gotten myself some brownie points with you.

For anyone interested in hanging around here are some links to previous blog posts including that one for the same question in November last year.

The humble Hedgehog

My World

Is there a cure for a broken heart 💔

These are just three of many posts on the subject. The last one really sums up how I feel after the loss of a wonderful family member. The struggle goes on.

Peace

Mental photographs

Think back on your most memorable road trip.

My wife and I have always had a great understanding of what we class as memorable moments. We don’t even have to tell each other it’s memorable, we usually say to each other, “I’ve taken a picture”.

This isn’t a physical picture where you’ve lined up a camera for a snap, this is a mental picture, one of those special moments you store in your mind and in your life forever.

Akamas peninsula- Cyprus

One particular moment comes to mind one fine September day many years ago on the island of Cyprus. We were staying at a beachside hotel in the area of Chlorakas a few miles to the west of Paphos. We had gotten through a particularly bad period of our life and were away on holiday, just resting. This day we just grabbed a couple of chairs, a couple of drinks and then walked up on to a small hill to watch a glorious Cypriot sunset, and believe me there are not many better sights to view in your life. Here we sat alone, holding hands watching this glorious sight until the light faded and the dusk took hold. We continued just talking until it was time to make our way back for dinner. It is probably the most beautiful and peaceful moment I can ever remember, where for a fleeting moment we were the only two people on this wonderful planet enjoying a beautiful moment in time.

Mental pictures, that is what we collect, and we often both recollect these wonderful moments in our lives.

If you have wonderful memories, you need very little else in life, memories make you rich beyond your wildest dreams.

Have a wonderful day people.

Falling Up

I read this and thought it should be shared. Perspectives

You will never fall in love with me. Don’t try to convince me That I will always wait for you. If you really look, you’ll see I’m not here for the …

Falling Up

Rather have the good life

What are your thoughts on the concept of living a very long life?

A long life would certainly appeal to me under certain conditions, just ensure my wife and family have the same gift of that long life. But they won’t will they? That said, the illness and frailty that nature bestows on you as you age does not come across as very appealing.

There is absolutely no doubt that I have enjoyed my life and time here and continue to do so. But if i lose the ability to move, to communicate and become totally dependent on other people’s time, then that might be reason to let the grim reaper know its time to arrive at my door, as I do not want to be that burden on anyone.

Life is a precious gift, of that there is no doubt, but in some cases that gift can become a burden. If I was to lose my social circle, this would be another reason to call time.

I’d imagine living an exceptionally long life could in some cases be viewed more as being given a sentence, that is how I see it, personally to me. To you and others it may come across as different and I respect that. However as you are reading my site, my views, this is how I feel.

I want a good life where I achieve all I wish to achieve, meet good people and have a damned good laugh. I don’t want to be the last to go, but I also don’t want to be the first. I’m not greedy, I know my time will come I just hope it’s not too soon, or too late.

Bit of a grim subject but these things need discussing.

Stay healthy, be happy.

No Regrets

What could you do differently?

Even as i approach the more senior years of my time here, i ask this question on a regular basis, pretty much every time i do something. I think when you are younger you’re more gung ho and devil may care, where as in your later years (especially in my case) you start to question yourself a lot more.

When age is challenging you, you tend to look back and think “I wish I’d done this or that differently” but hind site is a wonderful thing for bringing on guilt.

I think the best way to deal with it is this, life is for learning, you have to do something wrong to learn how to do it right. Don’t beat yourself up over how you have run your life, if you’ve been good to those you love and to people in general you haven’t done much wrong.

Just enjoy life and carry on making mistakes, that way you are still learning. No regrets.

Stay safe and happy.

Anxiety Doesn’t Write the Final Chapter of Your Life

Life is a book, and anxiety is often an unwelcome editor, scribbling doubts in the margins and rewriting the narrative of your days. It whispers that…

Anxiety Doesn’t Write the Final Chapter of Your Life

Past & Present

Do you spend more time thinking about the future or the past? Why?

Anyone who reads anything on this site will know I am a glass half full kind of guy, most of the time.

Do I think about the future? I plan like most people and that’s about it, I don’t really dwell on the future as i kind of have a tomorrow never comes attitude. I’ve developed a live for today way of life because too much sorrow and heartbreak has hit me in the past, and what you have today, may well be taken from you tomorrow, so take what you have now and cherish and appreciate whatever that may be, as the future is a thief that steals everything of importance from you.

Do I think about the past? Again, I try not to dwell on it but when you are a fan of most things “antique” it’s hard. Fantastic memories and people you have met along the way, why would you not reminisce on how they have shaped your life. If you have loved, it’s built on what has happened in the past and determines how you feel about that relationship in the present.

So in summary I am a thinker of the past and present. Life is a precious gift, what’s the point of worrying yourself about the future, we all know what the outcome is. Enjoy what you have had and what you have at this moment. That’s all that matters.

Peace to you all.

Time

What is the greatest gift someone could give you?

Now don’t get me all wrong, I’m not demanding that my life be extended, all I am saying is the best gift you could give me is your time.

A simple, “How are you?” A “Good morning” or even a smile, it sets a scene, we don’t have to rush, let’s talk a while but it rarely occurs. Probably the only person you speak to in the morning is the barista, when you give them your name to put on your coffee cup on the way to work.

Society has changed to the extent that we hold everyone in suspicion, we don’t trust anyone, not for any particular reason apart from society dictating that we should all be suspicious of one another. It’s just ingrained into society right now.

What Gift? Speak to anyone who knows me and you will see that I’m a person that likes gifts that have had thought go into them. I do not need items of materialistic value, you could just as well pass me an old battered book or a pair of socks, of no particular monetary value, if they mean something to me I will cherish them.

And that is where time is important. We all have an undefined amount available to us, it costs nothing to give it, and it has a value that is priceless.

Give your time, and you will be rewarded equally, it’s so simplistic that it’s crazy. If only society would sit up and pay attention.

Stay safe.