Again today we’ve been going through a whole raft of photos and we’ve chosen this one to sit alongside Alfie’s ashes. It’s a lovely photo of him with his head on the first stair, looking up at us getting ready as we’d told him he was about to go “Walkies” it sums him up perfectly. Beautiful boy 🥰
Alfie’s ashes – new picture
The second one we received as an anniversary present from my sister in Lancashire. It’s a lovely hand drawn pencil picture by a talented young lady of all our three boys. Bottom Left is Muffin who we had at the start of our marriage 33 years ago, bottom right is Digger who was next, and on the top with his trademark cocked head is our little Alfie. This is the only picture my wife wants on the wall of the boys as it is the three of them together.
The three boys. Muffs, Digs and Alf
What memories we have, and thousands of pictures to look back on and smile. We were so privileged to be gifted these three wonderful little souls. We have been so fortunate and lucky.
Today has been a so so kind of day. Here in the East Midlands it has been wet yet again. We have had so much rain in the last few days that apparently we have had four times the average monthly rainfall in just three days. It’s very wet to say the least.
Hence at work this has caused me problems today. People just don’t understand the effect water can have on the passage of a 2000 ton train, the water can undermine the stability of the tracks so when we have flooding, thats when the speed restrictions come into place. And my day today has involved completing a number of these checks to ensure all is well. On top of that i have had to deal with failed point work in the Melton Mowbray area as well as attending to a broken down train. It’s been a busy day, work started just before 05:30 and by the time i got back to base it was about 14:00. No breakfast today, no lunch as I didn’t get the time. Not too worried with that as we do have quieter days where we can do all of that. It’s all swings and roundabouts, give and take it works both ways.
Back home the wife has been playing catch up with the washing, not happy that due to the wet weather she cannot get the washing out for a blow, hence the conservatory looks like a London wash house as she engages the dehumidifier to dry everything inside. Good things these dehumidifiers, especially in an old house like ours, no damp here as a result.
The sister in law popped over with some old black and white negatives that she has found. She’s planning an anniversary gift for her husband as they have been married 55 years – it’s their Emerald wedding anniversary. He’s been a scooter fan since he was a teenager and still has one to this day, she’s unearthed a negative from when they first went on holiday together and its one of him sitting on his first scooter. I have a scanner so i was able to scan the negative and send it electronically to be printed, and i will collect it tomorrow. Meanwhile she and the wife have ordered a nice emerald trimmed frame that will arrive tomorrow for me to put the picture in. Her husband will love it, it’s a lovely memory and you can’t beat that. I love gifts that have had a lot of thought go into them, they don’t have to be expensive, but they can mean the world to someone.
We took a massive kick in the pants today when a very dear and lovely family member called to tell us she was undergoing investigation for that bastard big C. It’s only early days so we are all hopeful that it’s been caught early. She is so hard working she has learning difficulties and I don’t think she fully understands the seriousness of what she has been told bless her. We are here for her, and she knows she has our combined love, prayers and anything else we can do to help her through this damned unfair stage of her life. We love her so much .
We’ve spoken about Alf a lot today, its been lovely and we’ve uncovered more photos of him today, isn’t it funny that you get these photo memories come up on your phone that you’d completely forgotten about? His ashes sit on a shelf in the living room, and we talk to him as if he is still here. Well to be honest he is here, he was a massive presence even though he weighed littlle more than 6 kilos at his peak, he will be with us forever, and when we pop our clogs we will all be blended together in a big pile of ash to be distributed over one of our favourite places as a family. We will always be together.
Our Alfie
I was wandering about aimlessly earlier so the wife banished me to the conservatory to do some of my hobby stuff, i was able to fault find a unit I’m working on and tomorrow i will start to do some soldering and tidying up. I also had a work colleague come into work with a set of lights that need fixing, he’d heard that i do this stuff so I’ve managed to land another little job to keep me occupied, it all helps to maintain the sanity and keep the grey matter active.
Overall it’s been a good day, with a sprinkling of the downright unfair, there has been plenty going on and I’ve kept active, just as i like it. But tonight my thoughts are with my dear relative who has had awful news today. I said this journal would be a load of chat about everything and nothing really, but sitting here typing this has made me look back at the day and realise that i have achieved stuff, may be nothing major, but it is so easy to sit down and say you did nothing today.
Write it down and watch your day unfold in front of you and say – “Yes, i did plenty of stuff, and i achieved something today, and people need me.”
I kept a hand written journal up until February this year when I decided I’d use the WP platform instead.
Though this has given me ability and time to express thoughts and hobby information I think I’ve drifted slightly from the original intention. I need to start Journaling again, I have read through my previous entries in the book and it’s good to see what has improved, where I can improve and what has been successful. I need to go back to that, so from now on I will occasionally post some thoughts and feelings. Maybe it will help me. Maybe not. Who knows.
I’m still going to do the usual stuff and carry on the hobbies, that needs to be done to keep me out of a rut.
Last night, my wife openly cried in my arms, she is totally wrecked at losing our little lad Alf back in August. My heart broke when she cried “I want him back”. I was at a loss and I still am as I can’t make her wish come true. Grief is an absolute bastard, and we are both struggling to get to terms with it. I know time will heal, but I just don’t know what to do.
Hey ho, it starts here I guess. I will title it as journal followed by a date, so it’s easy for you to avoid seeing. It helps me, and who knows it might help someone else.
Spread joy and happiness throughout the world? YAWN 🥱
There is so much we could do more of, personally it has always been a challenge for me to be a better version of what I am. My good lady challenges me regularly asking why I think this, and to be honest I just look back at my father and compare myself to him, he was a nasty horrible man.
She keeps telling me there is no comparison and I’m nothing like him, but to me I can see comparisons and that’s what I don’t like. That’s why I challenge myself to be better than him, and constantly try to do more of that.
He’s been dead getting on for twenty years now, and he haunts me to this day.
I could certainly do more of dropping the demons and getting on with what I have left. It’s a fight.
And it looks like that’s what I’m destined to do, more fighting.
What’s the best piece of advice you’ve ever received?
You can give this question a lot of thought and really overthink it. I can think of a few items of advice that have struck a chord with me over the course of my life, but I don’t think you can get better advice than that instilled by your parents (if you had polite ones that is!) at an early age.
The simple advice to say Please and Thank you.
Three simple words that are basically the leverage you need to get on in life.
It’s a pity that they seem to be dwindling in certain sectors of our society, however it is still nice to hear them being said.
This last week I have been away at a lovely location in Norfolk enjoying a few days away with the family.
There was an activity taking place that was an introduction to pottery, and here they were going to teach a technique that has been around for millenniums – Pinch pottery. I did pottery at school and was ok with it but I never made anything to write home about.
A simple pinch pot
To be totally honest I had no idea as to what I was going to do, but everything I’m doing lately seems to be in memory of our little dog who passed away in August of this year. Still very raw, I think of him a lot, and I’ve made this little pot for him. Yep it’s crap but it’s my crap, it’s a reminder of good times for me, a cartoon representation of him and on the rear of it I’ve signed it and stated where I made it.
It’s my first attempt in about 45 yrs and everyone has to start somewhere. I doubt I will take it up as a hobby at home but I enjoyed it, and for a small period of time I was productive, something I have been lacking in of late. It was most therapeutic.
My finished masterpiece…not
It’s now home, and in the next few weeks I will paint and seal it and hopefully have a nicely presented little keepsake. You can see the finished item here: Pinch Pottery Pt:2
I love trying new things, I loved doing this and who knows I may book a class and look at doing more in the future, just not at home. The missus would kill me 😂
Whilst I understand fully why people don’t like tattoos, I personally love them. Yes there are some awful ones out there however many are works of art and those that dispense them are artists.
For me they represent something I love, a time or a place that brings great comfort or memories flooding back to me, representing something deeply personal and special that has featured prominently in my life.
Alfs paw print from the vet
And this one is for my best mate, Alf who sadly left us on the 16th August this year.
Before and during the inking
When Alf passed away the first thing the vet did was take a paw print off of him that was put into a card, I said to my wife at this point that I’d have a word with my tattooist, Pablo, and see if he could do something with it. Today I have met with Pablo and the tattoo is being done.
Cling filmed for a couple of hours prior to washing
Alf was known throughout the family as “Alfie Moon” and I asked for this to be incorporated into the finished tattoo, and after about an hour the job is done and though a bit sore im really pleased with the outcome.
It won’t be in its full glory until the healing has finished in a week or two, for now it’s all about keeping it clean and protected and moisturised until that time.
Finished just needs to heal
It’s my way of remembering a faithful friend and companion that I now know will be forever with me, in my memory and now etched on to me. When people ask I can tell them the many stories of “Alfie Moon” – A very good boy.
Tattoos, taboo in many peoples eyes, but try to see the world through the eyes of others, it is an art form and art is a form of expression. If it helps, it cannot be a bad thing. And in my case my tattoos tell my life story and those special people, animals and places that have touched it.
I’m a walking art gallery, to some.
But probably not to others, the choice is yours, and yours alone.
That was the call we’ve just had from the vets. A lovely and quite melancholy call to be honest, just as if he’s had a minor procedure and he has awoken and is now ready to come home.
Reality is a little more stark. We are now heading down to collect our little fellah after he has been cremated.
Our beautiful lad has come home
We didn’t know what to expect to be honest, do we take a bag? Is he in a polythene bag? My wife was upset as she’d taken the call as I had been on nights and was in bed. I had this overwhelming feeling yesterday that he’d be coming home today, so in a way when I awoke I wasn’t surprised, strange isn’t it?
We needn’t have fretted, it was all so professional. He’s in a lovely woodland scene tube, we didn’t want a sealed casket as we wanted his ashes to go with ours in the end, please don’t judge us, it’s what we want and you will never understand just what this little character meant to us.
Paw print Lock of hairA beautiful paw print photo frame
We also have a certificate of individual cremation, with lovely words, we have a lovely little picture frame memento with his paw print, we now have to pick a picture from the thousands we have of him, no easy task and I suspect we will have words about this. The vets have taken a cutting of his fur and put it in a small phial, lovely touch. We have two beautiful cards with his paw print on, and I will be using one of these to get a permanent tattoo on my arm with his pet name as he was known to many in the family- “Alfie Moon”.
The feeling in the house at the moment is nice, all the doubt we had has now gone, and we are so happy with the professional service we have experienced.
We can now move on to the healing stage, as he is now home. It’s so weird that the immense feeling of grief has lifted and a modicum of calmness and happiness has returned, it needed to as it had been missing for some time now.
Our lad is home, where he deserves to be. And he will be with us forever more.
From Series 9 Episode 26 broadcast on 29/07/15 The Barrister is on fine form but will Hayley and Dave be able to walk away with £7,000?
The Chase
I was just looking around what’s on my YouTube channel and to be honest there’s not a great deal. However I saw this little nugget of Tv gold and thought I’d share it with you.
Me – on the Chase
Yep that’s me almost 9 years ago when I had most of my faculties about me, what went wrong?
I had my hour of fame to be honest and in the end myself and Hayley came away with a win. My share went towards a kitchen we were installing at the time and I believe Hayley, who was a student nurse at the time was going to put it towards her first car.
Me with Sean Wallace – The Chase
Sean Wallace the chaser was a lovely guy. Nothing like his tv persona, he came and met up with us after filming and was a right charmer. I have met him since travelling on the Bakerloo underground line as I believe he used to live in and around the Willesden area in London.
Perhaps I need to get one of those “I beat the chaser” tee shirts.
It was a fun day and created a lot of good memories.
I have an old personal cassette recorder otherwise known as a dictaphone sitting in the drawer of my bedside cabinet. On that cassette is a recording of my lovely mum drunkenly singing at a small dinner my wife and I hosted for her and my father about 30 years ago.
She’s singing the old Platters record, “Smoke gets in your eyes”
It’s my most treasured memory of a most beautiful person, and the fact I can still listen to my Mum after all these years at a time when she is happy is immensely satisfying and comforting to me. She didn’t have a happy life with my father, it’s just so good to hear her without worry on her mind.
Foxes Den 
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