Tag: self improvement

Low worth, litter and hatred.

What’s the trait you value most about yourself?

I’ve always had a very low opinion of my self worth, and that’s not really bothered me through my life. It’s not the best trait though and sometimes little tweaks have to take place to just bolster things a little bit. I manage it ok and it causes me no issues. I guess I don’t like being knocked down, so staying low on the radar allows me to avoid such situations.

The trait I probably value the most is the ability, to arise early, and never be late for work or an appointment, and most of all knowing that others value me for my reliability, I’m always there when I need to be, and I don’t let minor colds or ailments get in my way.

I’ve had it mentioned on a couple of rare occasions that because I was delayed by traffic maybe, and was 5 minutes later than when I normally hand over at work, (even though I’m still not officially handing over for another 30 minutes) that they were worried that I’d driven into a ditch or something! That says something about their combined expectations and my reliability, come rain or shine, plague or pestilence, Dave can always be relied on.

So in a nutshell I value my reliability, and in close second place because I was brought up in an age when we were constantly told not to litter, I don’t litter at all. Every little bit of scrap no matter how small will sit in my pocket until I reach a suitable waste receptacle, that’s just me. It’s really easy and I’d suggest everyone tries it.

And in third place, but maybe it should be higher, I don’t use the word “Hate”. It’s a horrible word and so final and irreversible, whereas “dislike” can be worked on, the word hatred is final.

Have a super day.

The history

Why are we cancelling everything?

What aspects of your cultural heritage are you most proud of or interested in?

In respect of my heritage, history has always fascinated me, and now it annoys me in equal measures.

What fascinates me as it always has, since back in my childhood days, is that I love to know how people worked, lived and managed to survive in a period of time when just one random off the cuff comment could have you accused of many a crime. God forbid if you said anything about the establishment as you’d probably be missing your head before too long.

And the annoying part is that we are in a society where groups of individuals are wanting to cancel everything. People are wanting to wipe out history because they disagree with what happened. That’s history folks! The fact that we don’t (in general, good society, anyway) go around inflicting on the populace accusations of “Witchcraft” “Heresy” and whatever, means we have learned something from that history. We generally don’t make the mistakes of the past as we have become better people and learned from that horrific history that pre dates us all.

She’s right….

I can’t get enough of history, it’s potentially my favourite subject and I will gladly overdose on it in either book or film format. I just love it.

I don’t feel the urge to go and lop off someone’s head, or to take part in hanging, drawing and quartering anyone (not today anyway….) and that’s because we have all learnt, and moved on from those terrible times. We learn from the mistakes of the past, and to wipe out history leaves us in the unenviable position of not knowing the difference between right and wrong, we might as well all go and bury our heads in the sand and just imagine it never happened.

I have news for you Sherlock, it did happen, and as long as we learn, develop and make better then we are being taught by our historical misdemeanours, hopefully to never venture back to those dark old days.

Cancelling solves nothing. In the words of the Jamaican activist- Marcus Garvey,

“A people without the knowledge of their past history, origin and culture is like a tree without roots”

And he isn’t wrong, I used to have a tee shirt with that on it in my teenage years..

History, it shapes our futures. Don’t cancel it.

Have a superb day…

Ask someone else

How would you describe yourself to someone?

I’m not about to blow smoke up my own pipe, I really do find this question hard to answer, as I probably see myself totally differently from how others view me.

And that’s it.

It doesn’t really matter how I see myself, I guess the answer is in how you portray yourself in all aspects of your life. Work, leisure, hobbies, behaviours, fears, likes, loves – you name it. I know the person I’d like to be, but I’ll never get there unless I learn the truth and change my ways.

Contentment

There’s only one person I know that can truly describe me to someone, and that someone would be my wife. She knows me better than I know myself, she sees the good, bad and indifferent in me, and to be honest it works in the other direction too. My Wife would probably say she is calm and tolerant, but I’d have to pull her up there as I sometimes see a different side to her that no one else sees. Whereas I’d probably say I’m a people person and I know she’d laugh and pull me up and say I’m the total opposite. And of course she’d be right.

How many people will answer this prompt, and truly turn to someone who knows them only too well and ask them to “Fact check” their reasoning. I doubt many will, so does that mean we will all have either a too low, or even a too high opinion of ourselves?

Sometimes it’s best to get it from the mouth of someone you know well. They don’t do it to hurt your feelings, they are giving it to you straight, it’s up to you then to make changes to become that person you truly “think” you are, or want to be.

Have a good day.

Losing track of time

Which activities make you lose track of time?

There is no doubt about it, that when I get involved in anything, one thing is guaranteed and that is, that you are going to get nothing but a full commitment of time and attention from me.

My main problem is that sometimes I immerse myself so deep that I sometimes struggle to get back out of the situation. Sometimes it maybe just be a helping hand that is needed and not a full scale immersion, and that’s where I sometimes struggle to find the fine line, it’s a personal issue I have always had.

I’ve learned a few harsh lessons in the past where a helping hand was all that was needed. The people I have been helping were either more than capable at completing the task, or had people with them that would have benefited more from participating in the task, rather than having me jump in and take over. I think I have become more aware of this now and even though I always wish to see a task through to its conclusion, I reluctantly stand by and am instead happy to offer advice if necessary. I just find it hard to take that step back occasionally.

I’m generally a busy person, just of my own making. I may not appear busy to the person passing by, however my brain is in overdrive keeping me busy or working something out within.

So in conclusion I’d say that pretty much all activities make me lose track of time. In some people that would probably make them bad timekeepers I’d guess, however that is again a problem I do not have. I like to help, though I guess my help may not always be appreciated, I just like to get involved, and I can be relied on to be there on time.

It must be horrible to have a wasted lazy lifestyle, however I do appreciate this is not the way everyone operates.

Maybe I need to lose track of time more often, just taking it easy. But hey, that’s just not me I’m afraid.

Have a super successful day folks

Learn and don’t get addicted

What advice would you give to your teenage self?

To be honest there would be a small number of things I’d advise teenage me to reconsider.

Firstly to avoid negative people whenever possible, as they drain every single last piece of hope and happiness from you. What they gain from it, I just don’t know. They are poisonous.

Take every opportunity to learn, don’t get caught out by the advance of technology, be a step ahead of yourself and protect your place in society.

Avoid addiction at all cost, your life is literally in your hands, don’t follow like a sheep, be brave and say no, you’ll thank me later in life.

Be your own boss, grab the opportunity to step out on your own, and be answerable to yourself only.

Move to a country where you pay less to the taxman.

Just be nice to people. It will open many doors for you.

Isn’t hindsight a wonderful thing.

Stay safe and be peaceful.

Day three – Reykjavik

Anyone who’s been to this part of the world has probably been on the golden circle tour, which is a great introduction to what this area has to offer.

However we are not, as we’ve been here before and done that, so the next couple of days will be spent doing variations of that trip to our own agenda. Today was one of those days. We’ve spent the morning after breakfast browsing the area. I always look for an item to take home that will remind me of our visit and today I think I have found the item I would like. It’s a piece of art on glass painted by a superb glass artist named Ella Rosinkrans. Ella is one of only a few glass artists on the island and has been designing and creating these art forms for about the last 25 yrs. it also helps living near the Eyjafjallajökull volcano as all the black portions of her art contain ash from this volcano that caused so much disruption back in 2010 when its eruption closed airspace over Europe for a number of weeks.

Anyway I will be purchasing one of her items as a memento of this visit. We will be back to her studio on day 5 to collect it.

Whilst browsing the shops we came across this one. the shop name loosely translates as “The Golden Cat” it hadn’t opened yet, however patiently waiting at the door for opening time was….a black cat.

The cat patiently waiting for the shop to open

We then popped around to the original Reykjavik cathedral just down by the old government building.

The old Cathedral
The Cathedral interior
Cathedral roof
Cathedral organ
Cathedral exterior
The old government building “Alping”

As with a lot of Reykjavik this cathedral had a big connection to Denmark. it was built by the Danish king at the time, built for the people around a time of great hardship as a place where they could all congregate for safety.

We then moved on to our next activity.

The Blue lagoon here in Iceland is on the to do list for many. Based near the town of Grindavik the scene of recent volcanic activity, this is a geo thermal spa where the water is pumped from the local power station. The area has been subject to emergency closures and is still under such an order due to the unpredictability of the seismic activity in the area. We’ve visited before so this year we have decided to try another lagoon closer to the city centre. We have found one just 15min drive out side of Reykjavik called the Sky Lagoon.

Sky Laggon Reykjavik (Picture Skylagoon)

Only opened in recent years this is a custom built lagoon / Spa where the order of the day is to take in the Skjól bathing ritual a seven stage experience that relaxes and invigorates you inside and out. I was sceptical but I must admit it’s a worthwhile experience although the cold sessions were quite horrendous seeing the outside temperature was -6. As I said it was a worthwhile experience.

Lovely hot water.
Sauna view
Various locations around the lagoon

The day finished with us all feeling refreshed, we then headed back to the city where we convened at a bar for some dinner. One of our party is a football fan whose team were playing and fortunately they won so the day came to a pleasant happy ending.

Twister cocktail

The Twister cocktail was a nice way to finish the evening, I believe it consisted of Rum. Peach schnapps and other bits. Oh, and an ice lolly on the top. Good stuff!

Have a great day.

Thanks, again

I have already thanked everyone on 26th January this year for your kind support on getting me up to 100 subscribers on this site. It really is appreciated and today I need to thank you again on getting me to a 10k views notification.

Thank you 🙏

I’m not a consistent blogger as my posts vary greatly, I know there is quite a range in quality but I make no apologies for that. I’ve always suffered with quite severe mood swings due to a number of factors that I won’t dwell on here, and this site was created as an extension of the journal I used to write at home. That journal had some extremely worrying matter in it and I always encouraged my wife to read it, (As I’m a bloke who doesn’t openly talk) and as a result she pulled me out of some deep ravines and I am eternally grateful to her for that. That said I decided to take the Journal one step further and it is now online for all my family as well as you good souls to see. As a result you will see the good and the not so good, but believe me I am in a much better place for having you all around me.

Thanks for just being there, you will never understand just how much it helps.

And yes, I do talk more and I suggest everyone who is suffering in silence breaks that mould, and talks to someone. Do not please suffer in silence. And I’m always here to lend a listening ear.

Eternal thanks to each and every one of you.

Peace 🙏

Work – Life balance

What do you enjoy doing most in your leisure time?

I thought that i may have answered this prompt in the past, but it seems i have not, well done WP, something original.

Like most people my leisure time is important, it’s only in the last two to three years that i have genuinely separated my free time from work time. I’ve definitely created a work – life balance and it was long overdue.

Taking just today for example, the wife has gone out to one of her ladies gatherings, I’m sitting here typing this, and very shortly i will be going out for a couple of miles of walking on what seems like a nice sunny winters day. We’ll have some breakfast when we return, i shall tinker on a project or two and then we will get ready a little later as we are out with family tonight for a “Burns night” supper, as my wife has Scottish roots from her mothers side of the family. No doubt this will involve a few drinks and should be a thoroughly enjoyable evening.

My leisure time is always the complete opposite to work, I don’t worry or stress, and any day away from work is treated like annual leave, yes it really is a holiday where i do whatever i want whenever i want, nothing is out of bounds, even if it is only for a day.

And thats how it should be. The old adage is that life is so short, live for today, don’t fret about tomorrow and just bloody well enjoy yourselves.

Sing, dance do whatever, don’t be embarrassed, the chances are that the people around you watching you have fun will never bump into you again. And if they do, they will remember you as someone just enjoying life.

What’s to lose? Just those ties that hold you down, just shake them off.

Have a lovely day.

Not a University degree

What makes a good leader?

Sorry if that title upsets a few but that’s exactly how it is in my view. I’m in a business where we actively take on graduates who have come from universities who instantly come into these roles where many years experience is normally the requirement, prior to proceeding in that role.

I’m not knocking the student, but just because you’ve been in study for a number of years and now have a degree in political history, this does not help you in an engineering rich environment. It’s wrong. A leader needs life experience, and I think it is unfair to place an individual with no such experience in a role that needs this expertise along with long gained trust. They need to wait a while, get comfortable and get a few years experience under their belts.

I guess this is my companies fault for pretty much setting these individuals up to fail, but to be honest my company is pretty good at doing this with anyone it employs.

Apparently, and depending on where you search there are a number of traits that make a good leader, here are just five that I believe to be the basic qualities required.

  • Calmness
  • Clarity
  • Objectivity
  • Empathy
  • Decisiveness

I’d also add to that, “Common sense” you can be the brightest button on the earth but have not a single ounce of common sense. I have this in my own family circle it’s not a thing that can be taught, it’s a life learning event, some people have quite a bit of it still to do. It will come with age and experience.

That said we will always assist individuals parachuted in to these roles, however it can be hard on the individual and sometimes tough for them personally. So let’s expand the above list now to seven by adding these two further traits and calling it a day.

  • Common sense
  • Experience

I’ve experienced this now in excess of thirty years within my role. In that time I have had many Managers but I can count the good leaders on two fingers of one hand.

Anyone can be a manager, absolutely anyone it’s just an excuse to throw extra work and responsibility at someone with little remuneration, but only a rare few can be a good leader.

Have a peaceful and pleasant day.

It’s unconditional

Can you share a positive example of where you’ve felt loved?

It was the 14th February 2018. Happy Valentine’s Day. I was told I had a cancerous tumour.

I was numb. We went out the following day for a lovely walk and all we did was discuss the elephant in the room throughout that whole trip. Even looking at the photos of that day I can see the false smile on my face as well as the concern on my wife’s.

False smile, worry in her eyes, not a good day

I went into serious withdrawal from life, as I knew it. I suffered severe depression. I didn’t share my feelings with the one person who knew me best. I kept it all to myself and it was all too much, I broke down. It was my problem, I’ll deal with it. But I couldn’t. I needed help.

That one person, sat beside me, she cried with me and she comforted me. She cuddled me. She stayed with me and she didn’t let me go.

It was at that point I experienced absolute unconditional love. There was a warmth that went through me, it’s as if she had taken all my worries and concerns and put them away for me, I’ve always said she’s an angel and she has this amazing ability to take away my problems and make my whole life better.

And I didn’t even share my feelings with her. That’s so wrong. I felt so guilty.

Guess what, I share absolutely everything with her now, nothing is held back, the silly issues, the concerns and worries. And you know what, her arms encase me again, that love flows through me as it always does and has done. I feel nothing but love, and it is my life’s task to ensure she feels just the same.

We beat the big C, or should I say it’s at the back of our minds and doesn’t overwhelm us anymore. When we talk about it we use the name “Fred”. The “C” word is no longer used in our home. It’s banished. It’s a horrible word, and my lovely lady did this to make our life less stressful.

My Angel. My Wife. My life.

Peace.