Balders

Journal – Post two

Good morning all and i trust you are well. For the second instalment of this riveting read i will bring you up to date with what has occurred in the last few days.

We have advanced from Summer to Autumn, we still have ridiculous amounts of rain fall, and to top that this morning we have had a hardy spread of frost. I’m really surprised about the weather to be honest, as normally at this time of year we are holidaying in Cyprus and when we are there they always seem to have a heatwave back home. This year seems to be an exception to the rule.

The usual discussion of “Should the heating go on” is high on the agenda at the moment, with the wife staunchly stating that it’s not going on before mid October. We live in a 1930s house with the rear of it facing North, to say its sometimes cool is an understatement, it leaks heat like a bucket with a hole, but in the heat of summer (if it ever happens) its as cool as you like. Great Mediterranean architecture design’s shouldn’t have been a consideration of builders in the 1930s UK.

I’ve mentioned about the feral cat we inherited when we purchased our house all those years ago, we call her “Tabs”. Well a couple of days ago the wife decided as the weather was still turning that she was going to buy Tabs a house. During the winter months she lives either under the covered garden furniture on the decking or in the next door neighbours garden under a lean to. It’s been fun watching the wife trying to coax Tabs into here new home, she will go in if we put treats in there but she firmly leaves her rear end poking out of it….she still needs convincing. We have had disagreements regarding its siting, i say it should be down the garden but the wife insists it should be near the back door. Time will tell. I lay money on it that our resident Hedgehog community will visit and check it out before too long.

Work has been gearing up to probably the season we hate most and that is leaf fall. It’s fast approaching and we will no doubt have trains slipping and sliding all over the network before too long. It’s a real challenge to get sites treated before this happens and it’s a busy time for us on the ground. People may laugh and scoff, but just don’t understand the issues that we face. It’s real, and it’s a real problem.

We are both suffering the holiday blues after a wonderful small break away in Norfolk, hence we have now booked all our holidays for next year. We didn’t go abroad this year as we knew our dog Alfie was unwell and we had decided our priority was him and looking after his wellbeing, we had a beautiful holiday with him this year in Devon that we will forever cherish. We still have a couple of small breaks this year, one is for a 60th birthday in Devon and the other is down in the Twickenham area of London to meet with a friend of the wife’s for a few days who is struggling with her health.

Next years agenda is like so: January back to Norfolk for a relaxing small break. February we are back to Iceland as we love it so. June we are back to Norfolk for a big family gathering and then to top it all we have treated ourselves to two weeks in Aruba in October. Never been there before, heard a lot about it so we are giving it a go. I should still have some days available after all of this that we will use for days out etc. We haven’t been this organised for years, and we both love having something to look forward to.

I’ve been back to fixing a few items but to be honest I’m not concentrating that well so my decision making whilst fault finding is a bit shot at the moment, I’ve stepped away for a few days to regain some composure then i will return.

Working late shifts at the moment 14-2200hrs and they are full on. I have a day off tomorrow and I’m looking forward to that as much as i would a holiday.

Look after yourselves and stay warm.

Take time to relax

In what ways does hard work make you feel fulfilled?

I’m of a generation that in general was a working generation where hard work was the norm if you wanted to get by. The computer only started to appear in its most basic form when I was in my last year of schooling, the mobile phone didn’t appear until a good few years later.

I think I’ve mentioned this before but I’m an individual who always has to be occupied with something, as I hate wasted time. My work involves a raft of different capabilities, I’m a classic “Jack of all trades and master of none” if that makes sense. My job is to get things moving on the rail network, that means calling in different skills and abilities to ensure the goal of getting things moving is achieved.

At home I’m always switched on and have to be doing something even if that’s a hobby activity to keep the mind busy. I have days off from work and the wife will openly tell you that if I don’t do something that I class it as a wasted day, I have to be busy.

However it’s become apparent over the last couple of years that this type of attitude can’t continue, if I’m tired the body is telling me something and I must rest. I had a little episode about 18 months back when I awoke one morning with horrendous double vision and then lost my sight for a few hours, now that was scary. It appears I had a type of mini stroke where a small bubble entered the fine blood vessels behind my eye causing the issue. That day my whole outlook changed and though I still like to keep busy, I have changed my ways somewhat and rest is now incorporated into my down time. Nothing is more important than your health.

So I’m still fulfilled by keeping busy, but now that has had to change to being fulfilled by keeping happy and healthy.

Too many people before me have worked themselves into an early grave. I don’t want to be another number in that statistic.

Have a restful productive day.

A couple of pictures of our dogs

Again today we’ve been going through a whole raft of photos and we’ve chosen this one to sit alongside Alfie’s ashes. It’s a lovely photo of him with his head on the first stair, looking up at us getting ready as we’d told him he was about to go “Walkies” it sums him up perfectly. Beautiful boy 🥰

The second one we received as an anniversary present from my sister in Lancashire. It’s a lovely hand drawn pencil picture by a talented young lady of all our three boys. Bottom Left is Muffin who we had at the start of our marriage 33 years ago, bottom right is Digger who was next, and on the top with his trademark cocked head is our little Alfie. This is the only picture my wife wants on the wall of the boys as it is the three of them together.

What memories we have, and thousands of pictures to look back on and smile. We were so privileged to be gifted these three wonderful little souls. We have been so fortunate and lucky.

Smile today, make someone’s day.

Replace grey windows

List three jobs you’d consider pursuing if money didn’t matter.

Throughout my working life I’ve done a multitude of jobs and a lot of them you wouldn’t get thanked for. I’ve had the ethic that I’d do any job and I have done that, from cleaning drains, emptying sewer pits and industrial deep cleaning. Thank less jobs but as I said I didn’t have the “I’m not doing that” attitude. Sometimes when you and the family are on hard times you just have to do it.

But for the sake of doing a list, here are three jobs I’d do for nothing.

Work in a Hedgehog sanctuary
Build traditional hedge fencing
Go around and repaint all those houses that people have painted grey. (It’s so 80’s) – (I apologise to anyone who has a grey house or especially grey windows. Nothing personal, It’s just up here in the East Midlands everyone seems to be going grey and i think there is enough grey in this world without adding to it.)

And that’s it for me, a little light hearted list of jobs I’d do for nothing. Especially the first two.

Have a great day all.

Journal – Post one

25th September 2024

Today has been a so so kind of day. Here in the East Midlands it has been wet yet again. We have had so much rain in the last few days that apparently we have had four times the average monthly rainfall in just three days. It’s very wet to say the least.

Hence at work this has caused me problems today. People just don’t understand the effect water can have on the passage of a 2000 ton train, the water can undermine the stability of the tracks so when we have flooding, thats when the speed restrictions come into place. And my day today has involved completing a number of these checks to ensure all is well. On top of that i have had to deal with failed point work in the Melton Mowbray area as well as attending to a broken down train. It’s been a busy day, work started just before 05:30 and by the time i got back to base it was about 14:00. No breakfast today, no lunch as I didn’t get the time. Not too worried with that as we do have quieter days where we can do all of that. It’s all swings and roundabouts, give and take it works both ways.

Back home the wife has been playing catch up with the washing, not happy that due to the wet weather she cannot get the washing out for a blow, hence the conservatory looks like a London wash house as she engages the dehumidifier to dry everything inside. Good things these dehumidifiers, especially in an old house like ours, no damp here as a result.

The sister in law popped over with some old black and white negatives that she has found. She’s planning an anniversary gift for her husband as they have been married 55 years – it’s their Emerald wedding anniversary. He’s been a scooter fan since he was a teenager and still has one to this day, she’s unearthed a negative from when they first went on holiday together and its one of him sitting on his first scooter. I have a scanner so i was able to scan the negative and send it electronically to be printed, and i will collect it tomorrow. Meanwhile she and the wife have ordered a nice emerald trimmed frame that will arrive tomorrow for me to put the picture in. Her husband will love it, it’s a lovely memory and you can’t beat that. I love gifts that have had a lot of thought go into them, they don’t have to be expensive, but they can mean the world to someone.

We took a massive kick in the pants today when a very dear and lovely family member called to tell us she was undergoing investigation for that bastard big C. It’s only early days so we are all hopeful that it’s been caught early. She is so hard working she has learning difficulties and I don’t think she fully understands the seriousness of what she has been told bless her. We are here for her, and she knows she has our combined love, prayers and anything else we can do to help her through this damned unfair stage of her life. We love her so much .

We’ve spoken about Alf a lot today, its been lovely and we’ve uncovered more photos of him today, isn’t it funny that you get these photo memories come up on your phone that you’d completely forgotten about? His ashes sit on a shelf in the living room, and we talk to him as if he is still here. Well to be honest he is here, he was a massive presence even though he weighed littlle more than 6 kilos at his peak, he will be with us forever, and when we pop our clogs we will all be blended together in a big pile of ash to be distributed over one of our favourite places as a family. We will always be together.

I was wandering about aimlessly earlier so the wife banished me to the conservatory to do some of my hobby stuff, i was able to fault find a unit I’m working on and tomorrow i will start to do some soldering and tidying up. I also had a work colleague come into work with a set of lights that need fixing, he’d heard that i do this stuff so I’ve managed to land another little job to keep me occupied, it all helps to maintain the sanity and keep the grey matter active.

Overall it’s been a good day, with a sprinkling of the downright unfair, there has been plenty going on and I’ve kept active, just as i like it. But tonight my thoughts are with my dear relative who has had awful news today. I said this journal would be a load of chat about everything and nothing really, but sitting here typing this has made me look back at the day and realise that i have achieved stuff, may be nothing major, but it is so easy to sit down and say you did nothing today.

Write it down and watch your day unfold in front of you and say – “Yes, i did plenty of stuff, and i achieved something today, and people need me.”

Journal starts here

I kept a hand written journal up until February this year when I decided I’d use the WP platform instead.

Though this has given me ability and time to express thoughts and hobby information I think I’ve drifted slightly from the original intention. I need to start Journaling again, I have read through my previous entries in the book and it’s good to see what has improved, where I can improve and what has been successful. I need to go back to that, so from now on I will occasionally post some thoughts and feelings. Maybe it will help me. Maybe not. Who knows.

I’m still going to do the usual stuff and carry on the hobbies, that needs to be done to keep me out of a rut.

Last night, my wife openly cried in my arms, she is totally wrecked at losing our little lad Alf back in August. My heart broke when she cried “I want him back”. I was at a loss and I still am as I can’t make her wish come true. Grief is an absolute bastard, and we are both struggling to get to terms with it. I know time will heal, but I just don’t know what to do.

Hey ho, it starts here I guess. I will title it as journal followed by a date, so it’s easy for you to avoid seeing. It helps me, and who knows it might help someone else.

Happy day everyone.

Stop fighting Demons

What could you do more of?

Now there’s a very open question.

Give more to charity?
Be happy?
Have time off?
Spread joy and happiness throughout the world? YAWN 🥱

There is so much we could do more of, personally it has always been a challenge for me to be a better version of what I am. My good lady challenges me regularly asking why I think this, and to be honest I just look back at my father and compare myself to him, he was a nasty horrible man.

She keeps telling me there is no comparison and I’m nothing like him, but to me I can see comparisons and that’s what I don’t like. That’s why I challenge myself to be better than him, and constantly try to do more of that.

He’s been dead getting on for twenty years now, and he haunts me to this day.

I could certainly do more of dropping the demons and getting on with what I have left. It’s a fight.

And it looks like that’s what I’m destined to do, more fighting.

Be kind to all you meet today. Have a great day.

P’s and Q’s

What’s the best piece of advice you’ve ever received?

You can give this question a lot of thought and really overthink it. I can think of a few items of advice that have struck a chord with me over the course of my life, but I don’t think you can get better advice than that instilled by your parents (if you had polite ones that is!) at an early age.

The simple advice to say Please and Thank you.

Three simple words that are basically the leverage you need to get on in life.

It’s a pity that they seem to be dwindling in certain sectors of our society, however it is still nice to hear them being said.

I still use them, and will continue to use them.

Great advice, for life.

Have a good Sunday.

Staying occupied

What things give you energy?

At my age probably a pair of jump leads to the..

David stop yourself 😡

No seriously, keeping occupied keeps me energetic, as my good lady would tell you, she even said that this week when we were on an activity based holiday that I was a different person.

Hobbies are my go to, and I’ve let them slip recently as I’ve sunk into a pit of self pity. Last night though I sat at my work bench and fixed two old electronic items and fault found another and I really enjoyed it. It was a kick in the pants that I needed, thanks to my wife who had threatened to clear my work area unless I got back in there, I love her for that.

That’s the thing with me. When I have a day off I always feel it is wasted if I haven’t done something productive, I’m slowly getting to learn that some days you just have to simply rest and turn off. However I do struggle with that and can be a right pain in the ass sometimes, I guess in a way I’m afraid of giving up and just jumping on to some slippery slide that I can’t climb back up again. It’s stupid I know as in all reality I’m not really that old, I’ve been in the company of some individuals during the last week achieving amazing feats and some of them are well into their 90s, all wonderful people.

I’ve got to stop imagining the worst, and calm down a bit, rest sometimes is just as important as food and drink, the body craves it and your body must be listened to at all times.

Hope you are all well on this fine day (Grey and damp in the East Midlands) and that you too have a superb day. Enjoy every minute. Stay safe.

Pinch pottery

This last week I have been away at a lovely location in Norfolk enjoying a few days away with the family.

There was an activity taking place that was an introduction to pottery, and here they were going to teach a technique that has been around for millenniums – Pinch pottery. I did pottery at school and was ok with it but I never made anything to write home about.

To be totally honest I had no idea as to what I was going to do, but everything I’m doing lately seems to be in memory of our little dog who passed away in August of this year. Still very raw, I think of him a lot, and I’ve made this little pot for him. Yep it’s crap but it’s my crap, it’s a reminder of good times for me, a cartoon representation of him and on the rear of it I’ve signed it and stated where I made it.

It’s my first attempt in about 45 yrs and everyone has to start somewhere. I doubt I will take it up as a hobby at home but I enjoyed it, and for a small period of time I was productive, something I have been lacking in of late. It was most therapeutic.

It’s now home, and in the next few weeks I will paint and seal it and hopefully have a nicely presented little keepsake. You can see the finished item here: Pinch Pottery Pt:2

I love trying new things, I loved doing this and who knows I may book a class and look at doing more in the future, just not at home. The missus would kill me 😂

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