What was the last thing you searched for online? Why were you looking for it?
Well, you asked so I have answered. I’m currently working a nightshift and it’s slowed down a tad so I’m just checking up on what was going on in one of my favourite places on earth. I usually check in and read the news and this is what I found.
Volcano still active
The volcano is still erupting around the fault line, it comes and goes quite regularly but this last one was quite spectacular.
An ice cave collapsed killing one person i believe, however all others have been rescued and are safe.
A 16 yo is in custody after stabbing some people at a concert, it seems the world’s cancer has now reached this beautiful place.
I kind of wish I hadn’t made that search.
Hey ho, that is quite depressing.
Stay safe everyone, who knows one day Peace might be infectious.
I was a product of the 60s and the only choice we had back in my childhood was 405 or 625 lines B/W Tv. Once turned on you had to give all the valves good time to warm up until a picture appeared, in truth you could probably go into the kitchen and make a snack before the ghosting even started to appear on the screen.
An old 405 lines tv
Back then we only had two channels, BBC and ATV, that was the forerunner of ITV.
No Adverts and only a few hours scheduling a day meant that you were more likely to see the test card transmission than any real TV program.
To be honest I probably listened more to my little transistor radio, or tranny as it was known then, nowadays I’d probably be pulled up by the PC brigade for even saying that.
We spent most of our days outside playing and exploring so TV never really factored into my formative years, I can’t really pinpoint specific programs I did watch however one really stuck in my mind as a funny moment. That used to be when we would watch a program called “Pot Black” it was a snooker program. However it was hard to determine colours of the balls on a black and white screen. It was funny when the commentators mentioned a coloured ball that they would refer to as “the grey looking one in the top corner” In fact they all had this colour as they were all just shades.
Aye, what with all your 1080, ultra HD 4K super duper vision you have now, you’ve never had it so good. But back in the day when it was a new technology it was truly ground breaking. I remember my old man saying “it’ll never take off”, how wrong was he?
Shift work kind of kills the typical, morning, afternoon night thing as being the favourite time of day. My whole outlook changes depending as to what shift I’m on as sometimes I’m coming home when others are heading out and vice versa.
Pondering
So for me my favourite time is always the coming home. Whatever shift I’m on. After 30+ years of marriage I’m still as excited to get home and see the wife as the day we first met. And that’s something in my book, to still have that same feeling about someone all those years later. It’s just the two of us now so it means more to me than ever.
So I experience that favourite time every day without fail.
Anyone who’s picked up on these posts of mine of recent days will know that we lost a very important member of our family on Friday just gone. Our dog Alfie went to sleep after suffering a number of ailments over the past years, culminating in a steep decline in his quality of life in the last couple of months.
It’s a tough and harrowing decision to make, bringing an end to a life that has brought nothing but intense joy and happiness to yours for the last 11yrs and 3 months.
But we had to do it, he couldn’t suffer anymore.
The hole that opened up in our family that day was immense. We stopped eating, our diet has been tears and cuddles and just constantly comforting each other. Along with this now is a list of chores that have to be done, like it or not his stuff has to be sorted, what do we keep? What do we donate? What do we dispose of?
Me, I want to keep it all but I have to be realistic, we don’t want to delete him from our memories as that will never happen, we don’t want to remove his presence from our home as it was his as well as ours. However there are unfortunate animals out there that would greatly benefit from Alf’s legacy and that’s what today is about.
Firstly we return to the vets, we have cards and gifts for the staff there who have all been super towards our little lad, we’re not looking forward to this but it has to be done, we have to settle his account as we left there Friday broken and gibbering wrecks.
Secondly we head to the Local dogs trust homing centre where we can donate Towels, Bedding and an elderly dog stroller
Thirdly we will go to the local hospice shop where we can donate other items, that again will help this wonderful charity.
It’s going to be hard, the house is going to be a little emptier today. But his legacy will be that he is helping others both canine and human, and isn’t that a wonderful thing.
I’m sure I will write a lot more about him on here and I’m not apologetic for that at all. My wife and I are still very raw about his passing and we will breakdown at a moments notice, however we are supporting each other, and doing what we can to ease the pain, and not forget him. Walks and talks are now our priority, it helps.
It’s amazing how, you can fall so madly in love with an animal, another species. Life really is wonderful and heartbreaking in equal measures.
Recently it’s been a great release for me. I have been able to express myself with raw emotion, writing through tear stained eyes and a pain in my heart that seems to grow day by day.
With writing you can capture the moment, whether good, bad or indifferent, it’s truly your personal history being documented.
For me, it’s my journal, it helps me get things in perspective. And due to the trauma of recent days, when people make contact it’s good to be able to send a link : Is there a cure for a broken heart 💔 and then they can read the post and instantly know how you are feeling. It’s hard to talk when emotions are so raw.
Yesterday was a vile day as at 13:20 we said goodbye to our beloved little boy Alfie. He features on this site as there is an album of his pictures here: Alfie
Our beautiful lad
He has been very unwell for the last couple of years but in recent months his condition has progressed to the point that his little body was gradually shutting down, and the wonderful little character he had was starting to wane. He was just 11.5 years old.
Those who do not enter into relationships with animals will never understand what I’m posting here, however I’m sure a good number of you will understand. To be honest I’m not really worried who reads this, I’m writing this as I do most of my posts for personal reasons and to help me express my feelings and journalise my thoughts.
We are heartbroken. We were never able to have children, so we took on this dog as we had our previous two, as a stand in for the child we could never have. And that’s how they were treated. They featured in everything we did as a family, they went everywhere with us and everyone who met them had a story to tell of the little antics they experienced with them.
Alf – our little fellah
A dog leaves his paw print on your heart. In fact a dog will steal your heart, he plays with it all his life and when he leaves you he breaks it into a million pieces. That’s not a bad thing, but it hurts to a level I can’t explain.
When my parents passed I cried and I was emotional, of course I was, but I have unashamedly cried more tears for this little fellah. I think the difference is that we were his whole world, he depended on us. We had to feed him, water him, walk him and look after his well being and for the last few years we’ve medicated, washed, treated him and ensured he had his ever growing list of medications. He was fully dependent on us whereas our parents were not and they had two families to help and care.
Alf was special to us, we didn’t go looking for him, he came to us under strange circumstances that I can’t write here. It was meant to be. He came to us and was with us through some of the most testing and awful times we have experienced in our married life. He was our comfort, he helped us, he stayed with us when others just walked away. He saw it through and though he was only small he was our little lion, he protected us.
Now he has left us, his job is done. For whatever reason he came to us he has filled our hearts with beautiful memories, however he has broken them irreparably with his leaving.
Last night was strange. I could still hear his little movements as my mind was playing tricks. In the early hours I could hear my wife quietly weeping as if she has lost a child, the connection she had with him was unique and now he’s not there.
I give her a cuddle and we just talk about him, we laugh lightly, but it always turns to tears.
We’ve had three wonderful little dogs in our married life, all surrogate children to us but they’ve all had to go. Alfie is our last. There will be no more, as the pain is just too severe and I don’t think our hearts could take any more damage. Their leaving is the most horrendous feeling to go through as the guardians of one of these beautiful animals.
Alfie
I took him for his last walk yesterday, to be honest it wasn’t much of a walk, he sat at the entrance of the park and just watched the world go by. We were approached by a beautiful 11month old puppy called dolly who wanted to play but he just let her sniff around, he had nothing left in the tank. It was then our time to go as we had to see the vets.
He built a relationship with two vets, Kian and Emily and they loved him. Fortunately they were both there yesterday to prepare him for his last journey. They were so good with him, and us, he was peaceful there, they treated him so well and he remained in our arms right up to his final breath. He knew he was loved, and he loved us.
He’s now gone, and we have a massive dog shaped hole in our hearts that the memories we have of him will hopefully fill over time.
If you are ever gifted one of these beautiful animals, remember.
They are only here for part of your life, but to them you are their whole life.
You will experience no other unconditional love and affection. And we have been very fortunate to have been blessed with three of the finest in our marriage.
Rest in eternal peace dear Alf, cross that rainbow bridge and there will be two little dogs on the other side awaiting you. Run free, no pain now, Mum and Dad love and miss you so much.
We will all meet again, and it gives us great comfort to think you will be there wagging your tails when our time comes.
Difficult one this. I class myself as an optimistic pessimist, it’s a bit of an oxymoron I know but I can’t think of how else to label it.
I’m always prepared for the worst and I upset myself easily there, but I’m also looking for positives to ease the pain I guess. We currently have a situation going on where over the last few days I’ve really been no use to anyone, I’m breaking down a lot, mainly in private but I’ve been caught a couple of times and then I feel shame. I don’t know why but I do.
I’m sticking with my label, if I didn’t I think I’d go over the edge as I tend to think too deeply.
I shouldn’t be looking to the future as that can change in a heartbeat and why should I worry about what hasn’t even happened yet?
But I do.
I need to be thinking of the moment and nothing more.
1. having the same characteristics or qualities as; similar to.”he used to have a car like mine”
2. used to draw attention to the nature of an action or event.”I apologize for coming over unannounced like this”
conjunction
1. in the same way that; as.”people who change countries like they change clothes”
2. as though; as if.”I felt like I’d been kicked by a camel”
noun
used with reference to a person or thing of the same kind as another.”the quotations could be arranged to put like with like”
adjective
(of a person or thing) having similar qualities or characteristics to another person or thing.”I responded in like manner”
adverb
1. INFORMAL-used in speech as a meaningless filler or to signify the speaker’s uncertainty about an expression just used.”there was this funny smell—sort of dusty like”
2. INFORMAL-used to convey a person’s reported attitude or feelings in the form of direct speech (whether or not representing an actual quotation).”so she comes into the room and she’s like ‘Where is everybody?’”
Oxford Dictionary
A perfectly good word until the informal use is implemented. It seems as if everyone these days just throws the word into the conversation and for some reason I end up just focusing on the word “Like”
Well not me in particular but we have paid for an elderly relative (73yo) to fulfil a dream and today he will be doing a tandem skydive from 14000ft above Nottingham in the East Midlands. This post will cover the day.
I did my skydive in 2009, I was in my mid 40s then and I did mine at the London Skydiving centre based at Chatteris airfield in Cambridgeshire.
My certificate of completion
I did my jump to raise funds for Watford Hospice, we did quite well from what I can remember however the total escapes me as time has erased that figure from my memory banks.
Anyway, today is not about me it’s about my brother in law Terry, affectionately known to the family as El-Tel and that’s how I will refer to him throughout this blog.
This is El-Tel’s day…and what a day he’s going to have.
We head off to Langar skydive centre in Nottingham, it’s 11:30 am and El Tel is due to jump at 13:00.
Langar airfieldOn a caravanA casual warning sign in the club house
We arrive in plenty of time however the weather isn’t playing ball. It’s cloudy, quite windy and no planes have gone up yet due to this.
All we can do is wait. Many people booked in earlier are leaving as they have other engagements and they have rebooked for another day. However we’ve decided to hang about a bit, we’ve had a snack and plenty of coffee and the afternoon weather looks promising.
Snug Swinging Photo discussion Safety brief
So off he goes for training where he gets his harness put on and goes through safety procedures and landing protocols.
The clouds have cleared, the sun is in the sky and the wind has dropped.
No time to waste it’s in to the plane and off to the drop zone.
The aircraft is a Cessna 208 Skyvan reg: G-FBPS.
Cessna 208 Skyvan
It takes about 15 minutes to reach the altitude that they are jumping from, this little video below is what we can see from the ground.
Our view 14000ft below
El-Tel has also booked a video and picture package. So a camera man will be jumping with him as well.
Just about to go up On boardOut you go Above the cloudsSupermanWow
And a few minutes later it was all over. A once in a lifetime time experience. Would he do it again? Just like me it’s a firm no. We’ve had the experience and we’ve got the memories and that’s what it is all about.
He’s got his wings Langar
He’s had his day and thoroughly enjoyed it, we’ve all enjoyed it and it was a lovely family day out even if throwing the oldest member of the family out of an aeroplane was a bit extreme.
Life. To be lived, to be enjoyed and occasionally it’s exciting 😂👍
Foxes Den 
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