Thoughts 25/3/23

Who was your most influential teacher? Why?

Not just teacher but probably the most influential person I have ever had the pleasure of meeting in my life was Mr.Michael Twelftree my Junior school tutor in the two years prior to moving up to secondary school.

I was at Little Reddings Junior school in Bushey Hertfordshire circa 1976/7 our class was in free fall as previous teachers had lost control of us, Mr.Twelftree stepped in for our final two years and boy was he strict. Strict but fair, he had a stack of canes in the corner that he gave you the choice of when it was your turn to receive a wack for some reason. Very rarely administered however just the thought of it made you stay in line.

He taught me and others to sail, something I still try to do to this day, we learnt so much from him, he taught the lot English, Maths, Geography, Science and all sports and made us competitors and despite his strict ethic he taught us respect and he brought out the best in everyone he taught.

We learnt all about different knots as part of our sailing training, this resulted in us having a noose hanging from the classroom ceiling as a demonstration of a knot, you wouldn’t find that in a modern day classroom.

He taught me to be a better person, shaped me up well for my future and prepared me and my fellow students well for the next move in our academic advancement.

I respected this man better than my own father, I know this sounds terrible but he shaped my life and I like to think I didn’t turn out too bad as a result. My own father unfortunately didn’t step up to his role in my life but the less said about that the better.

I would have loved to meet Mr.Twelftree again and shake his hand and say just two small words

Thank you 🙏

Thoughts 23/3/23

What tattoo do you want and where would you put it?

We were in Iceland about 5 weeks ago. A fantastic holiday full of spontaneity, I just wish I could lead that life 24hrs a day. Anyway I’m drifting now, the point of this post is that spontaneous action resulted in me getting a Tattoo there and then in Reykjavik at a local tattoo studio.

Helm of Awe and Icelandic runes

It’s a Nordic protection in battle symbol called a “Helm of awe” used to strike fear into people in the early years of the islands forming, I’ve used it as a protection in life of sorts. The Icelandic runes are the letters D & E that relate to the wife and my names.

So that’s what I’ve had done, I’m now looking at having another couple done relating to my home county. I think tattoos are great and that there are some stunning ones out there if done properly.

Mind you, you don’t half see some right rotten ones. Must admit they’re not for everyone but at the end of the day what you do to your own skin is your decision and yours only.

Enjoy and be happy 👍

Thoughts 19/3/23

How would you rate your confidence level?

See that snake over there? Well it’s under his belly somewhere…

Thoughts 18/3/23

What makes you most anxious?

As I’ve got older my patience has become rather frayed. I don’t know why exactly, I believe there are a number of factors however again I believe work lies at the heart of my anxieties. The things I see and deal with have scarred me over the years and the, support from work is pretty useless if not non existent. I get by now, that seems to be life for me and to be honest when everyday becomes a routine it’s time to take action.

So what are those actions? That’s what my anxiety is, constantly questioning myself as to the way forward. I think honestly, that I need to change my job, however there is another anxiety as at my age chances of moving on are few and far between.

Coffee or hamburger anyone?

(I am not in anyway running down anyone working in these sectors) chances are they wouldn’t employ me either 🤦‍♂️

Have a good day everyone 😘

Thoughts 17/2/24

What activities do you lose yourself in?

I’m rather fortunate in having a number of interests to get involved in, however more often than not work gets in the way.

How many times have you made that resolution that this year “ I’m going to work to live not live to work” and each year you reneged on that resolution. I have for god knows how many years, but this year there has been a change.

My health is getting no better and I’m now looking at this as being a warning to me to get things in an order of priority. Work, it’s given me PTSD what with all the traumatic issues I’ve experienced and nothing else, so I’m giving it less time and attention by cutting out all overtime, turning that damned phone off and spending quality time with my wife and dog. I’m treating those rare days off as family days and so far so good.

It might be only me and the wife getting away to some away football games, but we love these days out and win lose or draw (mainly lose at the moment) we love these days out. Cutting out the work ensures this can happen.

I love art, I’m useless at it but I love it, I love fixing and repairing old cameras, I love repairing electronics, i love a beer and I like to socialise with family and friends.

I’m realising my enemy here, though an essential for achieving stability is work.

I’m on a countdown to retirement now and I class my current actions as a trial for retirement and I’m really enjoying it I’m 58 going on 80 at the moment.

The message i’m trying to get across here is not to put things off. If you pledge to do something follow it through, there comes a time when it is all just too late and you don’t want to be laying there prior to taking your last breath having regrets. Do it all, do it today. Live, love ❤️ and be happy. Always.

Thoughts 16/2/23

Are you superstitious?

Yes, touch wood 😂

Thoughts 9/3/23

You’re writing your autobiography. What’s your opening sentence?

I’ve lived a strange and at times awkward existence, more downs than ups but finally I think I’ve at last achieved comfort, not success.

Thoughts 3/3/23

Do you enjoy your job?

I’ve been in my current role for the last 12 years, it’s the longest I’ve been in a position throughout my so far 42 year working life. Management pretty much leave me alone however the job does have some pretty horrific outcomes both personally and privately. No one told me that in my 12 years I’d experience 17 horrific seriously disrupted fatalities, or that I’d be regularly abused verbally and sometimes physically. Despite all that I love my job, I work on the Railway trying to keep people off the tracks and trains on them. It’s a shame that the railway seems to be the first place to go to in times of desperation and loneliness. I’m trying to help this not become the norm. But I also need that help, I’m currently undergoing treatment for PTSD so it has affected me personally. But I still love my job. Here’s a question for you, how the heck am I still able to enjoy this job when there is so much heart ache around it?

Sometimes, someone just has to step up to the plate, maybe this is my calling. Who knows?

Thoughts 2/3/23

If you could permanently ban a word from general usage, which one would it be? Why?

The word Impossible.

Though we all use it on a regular basis, is anything really impossible? If we just look at things in a different way and from a different point of view you can see that absolutely everything is the polar opposite…..it is possible.

Thoughts 1/3/23

Who are your favorite people to be around?

Family really. Really drilled down to the basics probably just my wife and my dog. I’m not much of a social animal but I do enjoy the family company. And the dog is just an absolute gem of a lad. Oh the wife, she is a wonderful human too ❤️😂