family – Foxes Den

Financial leaches and stuff

It’s been a tad quiet around here lately, especially on the blogging side, and there is a reason for this. As stated recently, the house has sold but my disdain towards the estate agents still remains and to be honest I don’t trust them as far as I could throw them. For me to regain just a modicum of trust in them they would have to pull off some quite stunning and spectacular acts of estate agent “activity” whatever that may be.

The solicitors are now deeply involved and rubbing their hands and then cupping them to catch the continuous flow of cash that they seem to be extracting from us. What I’m getting at here is you manage to find a way to save a couple of thousand pounds only for these leaches to suddenly drop another bill for a similar amount. It’s just like they are using the smart speakers in the house to listen into our discussions on our finances…the swines!

Anyway that said our search for a suitable abode goes on, we have some candidates and one in particular that the wife has fallen deeply in love with. I suspect that this will ultimately be our target. The thing is that as much as I want to, I just can’t get excited. The total incompetence of the selling agents has scarred me and I expect this sale to collapse at any time, there is something that just doesn’t sit right with me. I try communicating this to the wife but I don’t want to rain on her parade, she is super excited where as I’m being super cautious, we are both at total opposite ends of the spectrum at the moment and I’m struggling to be honest. I seem to have lost faith and that’s very unlike me, but once bitten twice shy as they say.

My wife bless her, is the eternal optimist, she’s the one you want around you. Me however, I class as a pessimistic optimist, or maybe even just a realist, I don’t really know myself to be honest. I’m that one sitting very firmly, not rocking on the middle of that fence, and as I’m getting older the battle scars are ensuring that the balance is gaining a rock steady gyroscopic steadiness, I’m not budging in any way.

Work is exceedingly busy at the moment we have all kinds of issues going off and there isn’t enough hours in the day to get things done, however it is a welcome distraction from the day to day goings on in and around the home.

That said, we have a family party on Friday that I’m looking forward to, before delivering my wife to her elderly friend’s house, where she is going to spend a week looking after her. It will be a quiet week at home for me, and I’m going to miss her keeping me in check and being the ying to my yang as they say. To be honest I think I’m going to struggle, but I’ll just have to get on with it, it’s only a week and other people need her more at the moment. I’m lucky, I always have her around whereas others have no one. This is where she becomes that one little angelic presence in everyone’s life. I’m fortunate to have her presence in my life, and I’m eternally grateful for that. It still remains that I will miss her immensely. It will be a lesson in patience. I’m sure I’ll be fine, she’ll still check in and keep me on the level, that I know for sure.

All projects are currently packed away apart from a couple of easy ones that will appear on here shortly, I have a camera to service for a photographer friend, but that’s just going to have to wait.

Life plods on, I sincerely hope you are all having a peaceful time, stay safe and just continue being that wonderful presence that you are. Thank you for passing by, it’s always appreciated.

Heck, I miss going Walkies.

A year ago today we lost our little dog Alf. It’s been a tough year and I must say time has not been a good healer, it’s as tough now as it was back then and he’s left a massive void in our family structure.

I’d say now that if you aren’t an animal lover then read no further. You wouldn’t understand.

However if you have a modicum of appreciation for a species that loves another being, unconditionally, then please read on.

Is there a cure for a broken heart 💔

I wrote this last year at his passing, nothing has changed.

I really miss walking this little fellow.

Good day to you all. Have a happy and peaceful one.

Domestic abuse

What traditions have you not kept that your parents had?

It was the one who called himself my father, and it was pure mental and physical abuse, aimed at my Mother, my little sister and me. We were his soft targets to his hard man bravado.

It was that bad, that i always viewed it as traditional, sad isn’t it? It just happened so often.

I’ve mentioned it before, I have no wish to continue this tradition as no one deserves it, and no one wants it, and no one should ever decide they are going to dish it out, no one person ever has that right to do so.

Abuse anywhere is awful, in the home it is ten times worse, as that should always be your place of comfort and safety, in the very bosom of your family.

God bless anyone suffering in this way.

I have worn your shoes and walked that mile, I do not wish to do that ever again. These “Men” have the reputation outside of the family of being “a great bloke” but at home they have a family waiting in the shadows of fear, waiting, scared out of their minds anticipating his return home, and then the nightmare begins as soon as that key is heard in the door. They are not men, they are merely weak shadows of a real man, as real men don’t entertain such levels of abuse, real men do not condone abuse at all.

I have no wish to follow that tradition. I never have, and I never will. I think I’m the bigger man, and always will be. My home is a place of peace and safety. I have grown, whereas he did not. No one in my household will ever be subjected to that fear.

Domestic abuse, all abuse, is unacceptable.

Stay safe.

Quaint men’s urinals

Now there’s an attention grabbing blog title if ever I saw one. Please don’t turn away nothing unsavoury to see, and I don’t normally take any pictures whilst in the Gents urinal area. Believe me this is a one off and will never again be repeated.

Unless I see better looking set of urinals than these:

Gates garden centre, Cold Overton, Leicestershire

I walked in this toilet and was instantly hit by the wow factor. Yes these beautiful sculptured ceramic flowers are in fact gentleman’s urinals. Apparently according to my wife all the hand sinks in the ladies are just as well sculpted.

I have never stood in front of a urinal before and thought, “Am I going to get told off for peeing in this” it was a conundrum that lasted two seconds as I was busting to go. I did not get in trouble, but what a charming way to equip, probably the most unappealing section of any business. well done to the design team here.

We visited the massive “Gates garden centre” in Cold Overton between Melton Mowbray and Oakham in Leicestershire. A family Member had brought us an afternoon tea for two, and as we had some time spare, what better way to spend a nice relaxing afternoon?

It was a lovely afternoon some fantastic food, and there was so much cake, that we had to take a box home that we’ve passed on to my brother in law and his wife who live nearby. I love my cake, but believe me I was already getting a sugar rush with what I’d already eaten. It made sense to pass this on and not to waste it.

I love days like this, making memories. It’s all that matters.

Have a superb day, thanks for passing by.

Love, Anger and Hatred

What would you change about modern society?

Now I’m not going to go on saying what should and shouldn’t be done as I’d only come across as another whingeing old fart. You’d kind of expect in this day and age that everyone would have a sense of what’s good and what’s not, just as we had back in the day. We were mirrors if you like, of the way our parents were brought up and we learned what was good and bad from them. They weren’t always right and sometimes you just had to make minor adjustments to your life to filter out these “not so good” bits of advice and actions.

See, as you grow you develop your own ideas and definitions of what’s right and wrong. But not everyone is the same, as I’m sure you are all aware.

Everyday the news brings us absolutely awful stories of horror, regarding the way individuals as well as groups treat others, it really is so sad and soul destroying, the depths of depravity fellow humans can sink to. How do they learn this behaviour? Why do they behave in such a way? How do we rid society of this behaviour?

These are questions that have more than likely been asked throughout every generation. It’s always been that way. Horrifying incidents have occurred throughout history and today’s atrocities are no different.

Throughout history it’s been politics and religion, that have been the cause of the majority of issues on this planet, and that is still the case today, but there seems to be no room for bargaining as one side is always right and the other always wrong. That’s how it appears to the outsider looking in.

Now I rarely talk of either, and I’m not going to go into it here, I know that having a discussion regarding either is just like throwing a naked flame into a box of fire crackers and I’m not doing that. I’m just stating the obvious.

I have my views on both and they are private views. I don’t even discuss them with family. I have my faith and that is all that matters.

Modern society seems to have a large vein running through it that often appears to rupture. That vein is anger. You can walk into any town centre and you can just see it, you can feel it, and on some occasions you are subjected to it. Everyone seems so angry.

Mix that together with the two subjects mentioned above and you have a recipe for disaster where large proportions of the population now become targets of extreme hate. Yes the worst word in the world, and one I refuse to use at all has now crept in. Hate. Hate is an awful word, it’s so inflammatory and filled with anger. Please try not to use it, hate is so terminal with no wriggle room. Whereas you can always work with a dislike of something.

My father did awful things to us as a family, that I have touched on in previous posts. I don’t hate him. I dislike and disagree of what he did, but to hate him in my eyes, is just like allowing him to win, and I’m never letting him do that. Even in death he still controls us through what he did to us mentally, but he will never win, I will not allow that.

So if there was one thing I could change in modern society it would probably be getting a hold on Anger somehow. There’s a lot of it about and it is a cancer living amongst us that needs to be eradicated as soon as possible. How? I don’t know, that’s way above my pay grade, but we can all make a start by removing hatred from our own lives. We just don’t need it.

Have a superb day. Stay safe.

Brothers Memorial Day

My dear brother John succumbed to the “Bastard” that is Cancer ten years ago.

He was a lovely guy, fun to be with and the family compared him to a character who used to be on UK television called “Arthur Daley”. Anyone who knew that character would know why we made the comparison with John, as he’d be involved in everything all totally Kosher of course….cough,cough.

A decision was made at his wake that we’d have a family day, once a year at one of his favourite spots, Cassiobury park in Watford. And yesterday was the tenth anniversary meeting, it was a lovely day, however the weather didn’t really behave itself. Despite Watford have plus 30 degree days for getting on for a week now, yesterday the rain decided to hit in near biblical quantities. But did it dampen the day? No, we all had a great time and it was great to see everyone.

I lived for 54 years in Watford and never really liked the place, I really dislike going there but sometimes you just do what you have to do. It’s no big sacrifice is it? But there is no doubt about it that the park at Cassiobury is one of the finest, most beautiful public spaces I have ever visited in this country, it really is a stunning well kept and huge piece of parkland that you really should visit if you are ever in the area.

The normal agenda is for us all to meet at a local hotel and then wander off to the park with a picnic, seats and numerous bats, balls, frisbees and whatever, to have a good afternoon of laughter and sporting activity, that normally results in aches, pains and strains for the older participants that I can truly relate to as I write this post this morning.

There were 21 of us on this on this occasion, from all around the country, Southampton, Leeds, Wales and everywhere else in between. It really was a superb turnout and just shows how much John was loved.

A good turnout, the weather held out for a while

I often like to have a wander, and as I previously stated it’s a massive park and deserves to be explored so here are a few pics to show it off

About 5pm the weather was drawing in and we decided to move out of the park, however we weren’t quick enough, the rain hit – heavy, and we were caught out. Thankfully we had some umbrellas ☔️ and we made our way back towards the hotel. Myself and my wife were bringing up the rear and we stopped under a tree, in the park and just watched the rain. It was beautiful, a calm and lovely moment in a world of total chaos, the only two people in our own little world, it was just one of those photographic moments that your mind creates for future reference.

The rain hit, and created a beautiful memory

Back to the hotel to dry off, and then we were out to a local eatery for a meal, 21 people into a restaurant is a feat of organisation itself, and thanks go to the ladies in the group for doing that without a hitch.

We left Watford about 10pm for a drive back to the East Midlands, we said our goodbyes, made arrangement for a couple of other gatherings that are on the horizon, and had probably our best run home up the motorway that we’d had in many a year.

A superb day was had by all, it reminds me of a picture that was displayed at Johns funeral that made everyone laugh.

Sums him up perfectly and had everyone who knew him smiling and grinning whilst nodding in agreement. It was him. And this is how we remember him.

We have a date for next years gathering, and I can’t wait.

Memories, there is nothing like creating wonderful memories. People may physically be gone from our lives, but they are never, ever, forgotten.

Thanks for reading. Have a super day.

As if bad days could get any worse

I’ve been in a pretty low mood of late due to suffering the post holiday blues, pretty much self imposed and just needing a good kick up the ass to get me motivated.

On top of that being a person who suffers continuously with respiratory issues I’ve been fighting off a nasty chest infection that I think I may have finally just got the better of. (Fingers crossed)

Then I get that kick up the ass I was talking about in the first paragraph.

My good work Colleague and Signaller Nick, who lives in London has contacted me to ask if I’ve spoken to one of our other colleagues lately ( who shall remain nameless)

I told him I hadn’t spoken for about 6 months only to be told he now has cancer in both lungs and his kidney, he’s fighting his last battle as I’m writing.

Nicks told me he has just spoken to him, and he’s telling him of all the things he has to do for his family before it’s too late.

This is where I broke. He’s early 50s, has a young family and… I just can’t put it into words. What a beautiful human being, one of the nicest guys you could ever wish to meet and work with. This guy earned an award when I was his gaffer, after saving 12 people who suffered cardiac arrests whilst on train stations in London. His actions ensured Those people are here today. And this is how he gets rewarded. Sick joke…

And I’m feeling low because of post holiday blues and a chest infection. How pathetic am i?

I’m a pathetic wretch, get real and buck your ideas up son.

Sometimes, it takes the sledge hammer effect straight in the face to really bring it home to you. Thank you Nick for making me see reality again.

Thinking of you on your hardest journey bud. Remember 2012. You life saver.

When is a dad not a dad?

This could also be titled, “When is a mum not a mum?”

I married my dear wife over 30+ years ago now, and to say she has been the stabiliser of my life would be an understatement, the rudder to my boat, you get the point I’m a lucky guy.

However we knew very early on in our marriage that we would not be having children, and that was difficult at the start. Not as much to me as, to be honest, children weren’t really in my plans at that early stage, but to my wife, she viewed it as if it was her duty to produce a child, she was a woman after all and she dearly wanted a child. And I’d do anything to make her life complete. However this was never going to be a dream come true in our life time as unfortunately and for reasons I won’t discuss here, we were dealt the bum deal as they say. It wasn’t to be. We were to remain childless.

Those first ten years of our marriage were an immense test of our feelings for each other, I’d come home at times and often find her crying for the child she could never have, and yes my heart broke every time, it was a very sad period in our lives. We explored every possibility, in the early days when Kim Cotton was the first in the UK to venture into surrogacy, we followed that closely and were considering the possibility of going down that same route, it was early days and there were lots of pitfalls and heartbreak stood in each corner of the decision making progress. It was fraught with problems and legal issues. We stepped away from this opportunity, reluctantly.

Back in the early 90s the adoption process was not as open as it is nowadays, we just wouldn’t have been considered, it was so selective and as we were quite young and in local government housing at the time, we wouldn’t have even got through the initial application stages, oh how times have changed.

There’s a strange feeling taking your wife to baby shops such as “Mothercare” to chose prams and a decor for the child you would never have, we knew we would never be buying but it was “fun” in a weird sense as we learned a lot about how life would have been if we were dealt a fairer set of cards.

Then the younger members of the family started having children of their own, I thought things would be worse for us as I was worried about my wife’s reaction to all these upcoming births. I needn’t had worried, as this turned out to be the point in our married life where it all changed for the better.

We pretty much became permanent baby sitters, it’s fair to say we probably witnessed more periods of excitement and firsts in their little life’s than their own parents did, it was fantastic, and we could hand the nippers back at the end of the day, even though we did have the occasional overnight stay.

That was definitely the turning point, and my wife changed when this occurred, she was accepting of the fate she had been dealt, but she now had what she wished for, children to look after.

We had brilliant days out with them kids, we did all the stuff you just do and we could now visit those shops to buy gifts for these little visitors that we had been gifted the chance to look after.

To this day those kids, or should I say young adults spend so much time with us, they’ve even joined us on a recent holiday and the relationship we have with them is fantastic. They have grown up to be beautiful souls and it’s nice to think we played a part in their stories. We still ask each other what we think our kids would have been like, and often comment that if they are just like the nieces and nephews we helped bring up, then we couldn’t do much better than that.

The prompt for this post was encouraged by the fact that even though we are the only childless couple in our family, every Mother’s Day and Father’s Day we are showered with cards and gifts, and whilst I question it every year it’s their way of showing their appreciation, and just saying thank you.

I’ve sent them all a WhatsApp message telling them what I have purchased with their gift cards, as I like them to know where it’s been spent. This year I’ve purchased some new tools and a special extraction fan for my soldering, just so I can stay around and appreciate them a little longer. They and their parents changed our life’s for the better.

I should really be thanking them. But they know I’m always here for them. I’m not a dad, but they make me feel so much like a dad. ❤️

Thanks for passing by. Stay blessed and try to be happy.

Just a few snapshots

No words or trying to speak “Proper” here. 13 of us have just arrived back from four most beautiful days on the east coast at Norfolk. Temperatures up into the high twenties, a phenomenon not often experienced on this coast in the UK. It made for a wonderful break away, and this family bond remains as strong as ever as a result. Here are some photos to chew on, all taken with my trusty iPhone 14.

All taken in and around Gorleston and Hopton on sea- Norfolk

Have a super day, stay safe and enjoy this wonderful weather.

Sunday morning coming down

(To quote the lyrics from a favourite song)

I have just finished a run of night shifts, as we are heading out to the coast for a few days with 12 others from the wife’s side of her family. I’ve kind of been in that frame of mind for a few days when people get closer to a vacation or break away when they just slip into “Holiday mode” at work, you know that feeling when the not so important stuff gets shoved to one side in the hope that one of your colleagues will pick it up, when in fact it will probably still be waiting for you to complete on your return. Yep I’ve been in that frame of mind for a few days now. I need a break, no matter how brief.

It’s going to involve an early start tomorrow as we head out to the east coast, first stop Gorleston in Norfolk where us old farts in the family gather at the local boating pond for a break, before moving on to our destination further up the coast. Gorleston is a beautiful part of the UK with one of the finest beaches you will ever see, it just seems to go on forever.

At Gorleston as I’ve previously mentioned, there is a very large boating pond. Here the older specimens of the clan take a break from driving to float their model boats. I’ve been watching them do this for years and have always threatened to build a model warship to jokingly blow them out of the water.

This year I have built a model boat, it is a torpedo boat, I know it floats but this will be its first true test of operation, it could go either way, it’s so damned fast that it could either just take off or dive into the depths of the lake. I hope it doesn’t though. You can read about the build of this boat in the two posts I created about its construction: PT109 wooden torpedo boat kit – construction and the last part: PT109 wooden torpedo boat kit – finishing. I hope to post a video of the actual “Sea trial” pending its maiden voyage or ritual sinking.

Anyway that’s tomorrow and to be totally honest I’m really looking forward to it.

Yesterday was a busy one, I rose fairly early considering I was working nights as there was a special event taking place. One of the younger members of the family, Jude who is only 14 was going to have his first flying lesson, purchased for him by his parents as a Christmas gift from last year. Luckily we have an airport close by that used to be a base for American forces back in the day, that was visited by Dwight D Eisenhower, and was also the home to a squadron of old Stirling bombers. Today it is a local aerodrome, but keeps the title of Leicester airport.

I love having a wander around old airports and in one hangar I found a beautiful old plane tucked away under tarpaulins, a MkIV Harvard built in 1952 for the Canadian Airforce but currently wearing the colours of the California ANG. Registered as G-CJWE (NG481273) known as “Dazzling Debs”.

Jude was going to be heading off from Leicester up over Oakham and the Burleigh estate and Rutland water on a flight that was to be approximately 45 minutes in duration. His parents had paid for two passengers to accompany him, and I was asked if I’d like to be one of those passengers. I politely declined, as much as I love aircraft I’m not a good passenger and don’t really want to fly if there is not really the need to. This refusal worked out quite well as it now allowed both of his grandfathers to be those two accompanying passengers. How lovely is that, I never even got to meet either of my grandfathers, now Jude, has both of his grandfathers sitting proudly behind him.

First flight ✈️

Needless to say, he created some lasting memories this day and was full of smiles on his return, in fact they all were. And to top it all it was a gorgeous day, with some cracking food and fun company.

Blog wise I’ve got the backlog down to ten posts in draft now, and by the end of next week that should be reduced by another couple as two older posts come to fruition. It’s been a busy week, no more estate agent tours as yet, we’ve requested a strict viewing criteria with them now, to deter the time wasters who most definitely have spare time in bucket loads.

Have a great weekend everyone, stay safe and try to stay happy.

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