Tag: life

Anger and hate – Why?

I’m not going to answer today’s daily prompt as WordPress sometimes asks some quite pathetic questions. Who really cares what my 5 favourite foods are or what the last things are that I did for play purposes. If you want to get some good interactions then ask about real life issues, if you want to know what someone has had for dinner then mosey on over to Fakebook or one of its sibling sites.

Today I’m talking Anger and hate, as I’ve experienced it big time in the last few days and I don’t really understand why.

I work hard. Very hard and it’s a thankless task at times. In my job I have to keep transport moving and people safe, however, occasionally one collapses and the other suffers. A young girl with serious issues, had this week presented herself, wandering out onto high speed train lines wearing just pyjamas bringing the system to a halt. I’m one of the first on scene, I arrange protection for everyone ensuring that trains aren’t moving near us and we then go about the task of recovering her and getting her to a place of safety. We achieve this and after a short while she is taken away and given support from a medical team. She is safe, it is all that matters, a life has been saved and it’s about as good as a day gets, but then I meet members of the public who’s travel plans have been ever so slightly disrupted, and it is disturbing and disgusting what I now experience.

“Why didn’t you just let her get hit by the train?”

“She’s ruined my F***ing day as I’m now late”

“People like that deserve to die”

I could go on, and the personal abuse I received questioning my parentage was not much better. It was pure bile and hate and that is why I ask why is there so much anger and hate about today?

What have we become as a society when your lives are arranged in such a way that a small delay brings out the absolute worst in you.

Why is so much anger present in society, even I walked away from this situation and wondered why I had even bothered.

I never use the word “Hate” anyone in my family will tell you that, and I will always pull someone up when they use that word. It’s an awful word, and there is far too much of it in this world. Dislike is a simpler word and can always be worked upon to improve a situation. It’s always easier to turn dislike into something more positive, however hate is a cancerous word that that can rarely be eliminated, it poisons the mind and very quickly kills all manner of rationality.

I work alone, I help get teams together to achieve common goals, the main one being to get transport from point “a” to point “b” safely. Sometimes we are challenged and have to work hard to achieve this goal, but we are always doing our very best. We work in the background and you probably wouldn’t even see us on a daily basis keeping everyone safe, but we are always there, always looking out for issues. Always looking out for you.

But it seems there is (hopefully a minority) an underbelly of society who are so selfish, that they are a danger to their fellow humans, they seem to have lost all reasoning, and common decency and this seems to be eating away at our core values as a social and caring society.

It’s been a tough week and I dare say on the run up to Christmas and just beyond that we will, experience more of these incidents. But guess what?

I will be there, I will do my job, I will put an arm around each of these individuals ( if they allow me) and tell them that I care and that I will be with them whilst they are my responsibility, they need this. I will think about them, no doubt for a long time after the incident and wish them all the very best.

For the irate passenger though I will feel sorrow, for the way they feel and act, and I will dislike that, however they can easily change their ways and become that better person.

Be that better person yourself, don’t hate upon anyone and just try to make life that much better for someone less fortunate, you just don’t know what they are going through.

You will feel a warmth in your body that you may never have felt before. That’s peace and contentment. Spread that feeling, this old world needs a lot more of it.

Have a safe and happy day.

My Primary school teacher

Describe a man who has positively impacted your life.

This is an easy one for me. And to save repeating myself I will just refer you to an earlier post I made back in 2023 regarding this man.

Thoughts 25/3/23

That man was a teacher, absolutely the most influential man I have had the pleasure of coming across in my life. I had a questionable upbringing and my own father could have held this accolade, however he failed in most aspects of both mine and his life. He was a nasty, jealous and dangerous man.

Mr Twelftree however stepped up to the plate and was the polar opposite of my father. He was an exceptional teacher and mentor.

This man has, and will forever be the most influential person I have met in my life. The teaching profession has such an effect on young lives, and here I am 45yrs later still holding a torch for this man and his profession. He is an exceptional man, I would love to shake his hand and simply say, “Thank you”.

Stay safe, stay humble.

The total opposite

Is your life today what you pictured a year ago?

I like to normally stay upbeat, but these recent prompts have really got me thinking. I know everyone wants to see the “Yes my life is perfect” answers, but I’m afraid you’ll have to head to Insta and Fakebook for those replies. To be honest looking back at the last year it’s been fairly “Shit” to be honest.

Now I’m not going to fill this post with my woes and issues as there are a lot of people out there that have had it a damn sight worse than me, but the question has been asked and I have to answer it truthfully.

The family is on the point of breaking up due to “family” things, there has been illness, emergencies and grief by the bucket load, however myself and my wife have managed to keep smiling through it all, hiding exactly what we feel on the inside. As I have stated, there are others out there that have had it a lot worse, and to be honest my thoughts and prayers lay with them. Being a strong willed couple, my Wife and I can overcome much that life throws our way, and hopefully we have enough left in reserve to help others who may not have that support to fall back on.

So yes, we’ve had a bad year, just like a lot of people, but we have also learned from our discomfort, pain and uncertainty.

So through mild adversity we remain united and strong, and that is a good sign….isn’t it? I guess all is not that bad, once you have faced the pain and issues head on.

Stay safe everyone.

Loss is forever

What skills or lessons have you learned recently?

No skills but a valuable lesson. It’s a strange one and you’ll probably think I’m a right ass but it hit me straight between the eyes I tell you.

I was standing staring at a picture of a dearly departed and very much loved family member that I was very close to. It suddenly hit me that I will never ever, see or hear this individual again. I don’t know why this occurred but it was just like a wave of undeniable acceptance swept across me and it shocked me.

I have my faith, that I question frequently, but it gives me comfort, and part of that comfort lies in believing I will meet my loved ones once again. But the question now is will I?

Can’t answer that I’m afraid as can no one else, I guess the truth will unfold on the day of my last breath. My god, that will be a day of truths if ever there was one.

It was just such a strange and unexpected moment.

Stay happy and humble.

Just three?

Name your top three pet peeves.

I’m sure we can all list a number of pet peeves that wind us up on a daily basis, but for me the ones that trigger me are:

  • Incompetence, in work, sport and all aspects of life, especially so called professionals who should be oozing ability and who struggle to just manage the basics.
  • Ignorance, those in a position of responsibility who just turn a blind eye to the needs of others hoping the whole issue will just go away. Supposedly these people are the high flyers, but to be totally honest are only interested if there is something in it for them.
  • Rudeness, ties in neatly to the two points above. If you can’t say anything nice then just don’t open your mouth. There’s an old saying that goes something like this, “ Put your head into gear, before you put your mouth into motion.” Some people could learn a lot from this. Quite simply just take 5. 5 seconds or 5 minutest, it’s up to you just think about what you say. And in this world of delicate souls it could make the difference to someone between feeling appreciated or totally destroyed. Do not go out there to ruin someone’s day, you just do not know what’s going on in their life.

Peace to you all. Have a great day.

One – alone

Who are your current most favorite people?

We moved into the East Midlands approximately seven years ago, I came up with my wife and my dog and they were, and still are, the most important in my life. However that has changed since the passing of my dog in August. My family unit has changed. I still have my wonderful wife but I now feel vulnerable in a way, as there is no one else. I have no friends up here only colleagues and the recent passing of my dog has made me consider that I am only one tragedy away from being alone.

I am a person who likes my own company, but I’m not looking forward to having that forced upon me. My future seems quite bleak in that aspect but I’m just going to have to prepare for that day I guess.

When you start losing the ones you love it’s as if you are personally having the love and support you are used to, gradually being ripped away from you. It’s a horrible situation that I don’t think that life ever prepares you for, and you will always be caught out by it.

Appreciate what you have. And protect that with all you have.

Journal – Post nine

It’s been 5 days since my last post in the journal. It continues to be a lonely old week as the wife is still away at our friend’s house. Health wise she is now getting the attention that she needed, a care plan is in place and her support network is now better than it ever was. Fingers crossed it’s all looking positive with the occasional wobble.

Living apart for a short while really makes you appreciate what you have, it also brings a dose of reality as you experience what some people have no control over, makes you think.

Just one more shift at work and I can drive down to see them both on Friday morning, I’m really excited about that.

Been a strange week at work, a lady threw herself under a train as a train was passing through at 90mph, the call went up for our response and the controller informed us we had one under a train. However that train passed over her, and she got up after it had passed and climbed back on the platform. I have never seen anything like it, the amount of equipment that hangs under these trains would normally rip you to pieces. How the heck she survived this and lived to tell the tale is a mystery to me. Needless to say we breathed a sigh of relief as we were not going to be needed to collect what was left of her. I believe she is resident at a local mental health unit, we have far too many of these issues on our route with those that are seriously unwell. It’s getting worse.

(Amended 31/10 unfortunately the same lady was successful in her attempt to end her life today. I feel sorry for my colleagues and I who were heavily involved, we didn’t need to be brought into this issue but we unfortunately were. She got what she wished for. I hope she has found peace)

I’ve purchased a few items to repair this week, all items that will be going on the site in the coming weeks. I have about a dozen draft posts awaiting completion, most of them are still awaiting parts before I can finish them off. I’ve also brought myself a new Multimeter, the previous one (good though it was) has been giving some spurious readings of late, so I thought it was time for an upgrade. Should be a game changer for me as there’s a multitude of other tests this one is capable of that the older one wasn’t.

Enjoy Halloween if that’s your thing, Here in the East Midlands it’s Diwali being celebrated this week so if that’s your thing – Happy Diwali – Stay safe. Be happy.

Journal – Post eight

It’s probably been about a week since my last entry in the journal. My wife is still down south with our friend who is unwell, she has seen the doctor and it now appears she has started the road to recovery. My wife suspects she will be there another week as they have a return visit with medical staff next Thursday and she wants to be there to ensure she has support and that everything is well prior to her leaving. We are meeting friends in London for dinner on Friday so once I finish work on Thursday night it will be a few hours sleep prior to me heading south to pick her up, take her for a hair appointment and then on to our hotel, then out to dinner. To say I’m looking forward to this is an understatement.

We don’t have a big house but it has seemed massive these past few days. This is the first time my wife has been away and left me totally alone. I normally have Alf here to keep me occupied but he has gone, and the whole house now seems so empty. You notice creaks and clunks you weren’t aware of before, the mind plays some cruel tricks at times.

I’ve been to the local hospice and handed over the lovely items our friend down south donated, and they were over the moon. I think they will make some good money from those items. It’s a good feeling to walk out of these places knowing that you are helping people who genuinely are at a time in their lives when they need it the most.

Work has been busy, the autumn effect is in full force and we are fighting to keep the train lines safe and moving. It doesn’t help with thieves stealing large amounts of cable rendering safety systems useless. They put their lives as well as others at risk, and it inconveniences everyone. Well I guess it at least keeps me in a job.

I’ve purchased a couple of items to repair, and these will be going on the site shortly.

Until episode nine, be at peace, and be happy.

CHEF!

What alternative career paths have you considered or are interested in?

From an early age I always wanted to be a chef. Don’t know why, I wasn’t influenced by anyone in particular and my mum, bless her wasn’t a gifted cook but she always kept us well fed. Maybe that was why then!

Anyway that never occurred, as when you get older your choices increase and your preferences change. I was always good with my hands and as an exceptional student in Art, Technical drawing and metalwork I was being edged towards a career in engineering. I took all my entrance exams and interviews to work at Rolls Royce aero engines at Leavesden, however my school were two days late in submitting my course work so that option became a non starter.

I ventured into photographic production, maintenance and lab work and remained there for about ten years ending up as a freelancer.

Then I ventured onto the railway where thirty two years later I’m still employed.

So it’s Been a greatly varied career, however the next move I make is intended to be my best career move yet….

Retirement !

Have a good day

Journal – Post seven

It’s been a busy few days, so replying to WordPresses daily prompts hasn’t been high on the agenda, even though i was tempted by a few but just didn’t have the time. Since we got back from London it’s pretty much been all work, the weather as per usual has been awful and it’s all been about removing trees, cows and trespassers from the lines throughout the East Midlands.

We’ve been to look at some new houses. We’re not looking at leaving the county, we are just looking at moving about 12 miles or so into the countryside as the city is getting busier and noisier. I know it goes against a post i made a week or two ago when i stated that i had fantastic neighbours, that remains true, but when health and welfare and progression of ailments are moving faster than you do, these options have to be taken into consideration. It’s not for definite yet, but as each day passes another reason to up sticks and move on presents itself. I don’t suspect anything will progress until the middle of next year but who knows.

Today i had to take an unplanned trip back to London as our friend has taken a bit of a turn and i have had to get my wife back down there to keep an eye on her. I’ve had to come back home as I have work commitments, I’m suspecting she will be down there a week or so, we will miss each other immensely but sometimes there are more important concerns, and at this moment our friend needs us and we will be there for her. The journey back was interesting, just look at this idiot that doesn’t know how to use a wing mirror on the M25 Motorway! I’ve muted the audio as I wasn’t very complimentary.

Just an idiot on the M25

It’s strange being at home on your own, I’ve always been used to having my four legged side kick – Alfie, at my side whenever the wife has been out or away. Today is a first for me as i have neither and its hit me, it’s another one of those awful “first time” reminders you get whenever you lose a loved one. We think we’ve been having little reminders and visitations now, please don’t judge us, we are not crackers but little things have happened that just make us smile. There are probably very reasonable explanations but we don’t want that, and we like what we hear and see. It’s comforting, and in a world of utter misery you have to grab whatever bit of joy you can lay your hands on. Here’s a picture of the boys in the week, and for a brief moment the sun was in such a position to position a rainbow effect above them. This was a special and lovely moment for us.

For a moment…a rainbow

I’ve purchased a number of random ridiculous items to repair and these will be posted as articles over the coming weeks.

So for the moment we are up to date. There are a lot of calls going on between here and London, along with a lot of thoughts and prayers as well.

Stay safe, and check up on your older neighbours and family. They are a stubborn and proud generation and hate to ask for help. Be one step ahead and offer it without them asking.

Peace.