Tag: life

We are all judgemental

Are you a good judge of character?

People are a puzzle, I think we all know that. Some say we shouldn’t judge people but those same people may have well been stung as a result in the past. It’s hard to avoid being judgemental, and to be honest it’s hard to imagine anyone’s survival by not being judgemental. And thats why we have the saying “ Once stung, twice shy” it came about for a reason and that reason probably was that someone had trusted someone when perhaps they should have been a bit more wary. I direct you to an earlier post I wrote: Trust

Being judgemental does not mean you are nastily caging someone and instantly putting them into a “bucket” as they say. Not one person can honestly say they do not judge people, do you not have someone turn up at your door and think “What do they want?” Do you not see a customer and ask “Why are they here?” This is judgement in its most basic, every day use. Now, when you instantly start labelling people all wrongly when you don’t know them, calling them all kinds of nasty things, this is very wrong, and you’d be a wise person to avoid this kind of behaviour. This is poisonous judgement of someone.

We all get judged, we go for work interviews and are judged, on a regular basis at work my superiors regularly check my competencies to carry out a role, this is all judgement and is needed to see how capable an individual is. It is in many cases a necessity.

A good judge of character has the ability to advance the process through to a number of other traits, one of those being trust. This may then lead to friendships as well, as you can see this is the natural progression of your life, this entire process needs to occur to develop social interaction and relationships.

Don’t say you don’t judge, you do. You just need to look back over the day to see your style of judgement. If it’s bad – make a change.

Have a peaceful day.

Happy Woofday

Strange how people’s social calendars change when they become carers of animals.

Today I have received an invite to one of our dear departed Alf’s friends.

It’s Barneys birthday

Wasn’t expecting this to be honest, what does one take to such a soirée as this?

He has good texting skills

Barney and Alf grew up together, Alf was about 5 years his senior and when he was younger he took him under his wing, however as Barney got older and a lot bigger the order of bossiness changed. However he is a great dog and one of the family, just crazy as a box of frogs.

Strange as you start aging, the randomness in your life just gets stranger and more wacky.

I wonder if they will be serving Jelly and ice cream? That might just swing the acceptance of the invite.

Happy days everyone.

Walking

I love walking but over the last 18 months or so I’ve not done so much. I don’t mean everyday walking, I do loads of that especially at work, I mean the type of walking where you set a route, go out, get some good thinking time, clear the cobwebs from your head and get back to nature.

I used to walk miles when we had our dog Alf, but as he aged and became increasingly unwell my own health started to decrease as the purpose and need started to dwindle.

We regularly did the walk 1000 mile challenge over the course of a year and we both loved it.

Alf wearing our Walk 1000 miles medal
He loved his walks

As we now move on up to Christmas, my wife has gone out for breakfast with her friends, I have work later today but I’ve told her I’m going to retrace some of our old walks and maybe pop in to have breakfast somewhere and I’m really looking forward to that now. I don’t know, it’s just that sometimes you just need a good old kick in the pants to get motivated and moving, today may well be that day.

My walk

I did what I said I’d do and clocked up a nice 3.6mile walk at a slow pace, just as I would have done if I had my mate with me as he would be stopping every few yards for a sniff. I took his lead with me today the first time I’d carried it since he passed on the 16th August. I must admit I was a wreck and had tears in my eyes all the way round, so many beautiful memories came flooding back, I miss him so much.

I carried his lead, only one thing missing….

There is an old saying:

Perhaps our eyes need to be washed by our
tears once in a while, so
that we can see life with
a clearer view again.”

Anon

And I believe this is true. There is no shame in being emotional, and what with it today, being the 20th anniversary of my mother’s passing, it is going to be a highly emotional day for me. To love and be loved is an amazing gift to possess, and to be given, but it hurts like hell when it is taken away. A lot of tears however have been shed recently and the view has not yet cleared. Here’s hoping and praying for better days.

Quiet roads today

I walked the routes we always walked, refusing to take shortcuts or to go down roads where we never used to venture, that would have been cheating him, holding his lead was strange but also comforting.

Stop for a break
Nice coffee

We stopped at a new Cafe strangely called “Cafe 55” I had a lovely coffee and a breakfast roll. It had a lovely atmosphere and was a nice clean environment. When I got the bill I realised where it obtained its name from as it seems to be 55% more expensive than anywhere else in the area. That aside, it was a pleasant stop over.

The last mile home allowed me to get myself together, a nice cuddle from the wife when I arrived home is always appreciated. We talked, again, we both shed tears, then realised just how fortunate we are for what we have, and for what we have been blessed with in the past.

Life is a puzzle, but once you have the borders sorted, it all starts to fall into place one small piece at a time.

It was a lovely walk. It needs to happen more. And it will.

Peace & Love.

Giving, it’s not just for Christmas it’s for life..

I’ve knicked a quote here that in the UK usually refers to purchasing dogs as Christmas presents, you just don’t do it, it is a lifetime commitment.

Now we move on to giving and charity. At this time of year we are bombarded by requests to give and there are many tugs on the heartstrings that I have no doubt serve a purpose and achieve an influx of donations for those requesting assistance. And rightly so.

Then Christmas is over and done… silence!

Hence my title of this page. The singer George Michael had a song called “Praying for time” where he takes a well aimed prod at people by referring to our charitable contributions or lack of them…

These are the days of the empty hand
Oh, you hold on to what you can
And charity is a coat you wear twice a year
This is the year of the guilty man
Your television takes a stand
And you find that what was over there is over here.

George Michael

Charity is a coat you wear twice a year, that’s a strong statement and it’s probably right.

Charitable giving shouldn’t just be one of those twice a year activities, it should be a year round thing. I know we are in a financial crisis and not everyone can afford to donate, however time is as valuable as money and it does not have to be a financial donation.

It’s something I’m going to change personally in the coming year, I do donate through my payroll to some small charities but I also fall in to that “ Charity is a coat you wear twice a year” category.

I’m determined that I will give more of my time, I have plenty of it, as we all do, no excuses we can all give time, hopefully it’s the one thing we are “Wealthy” with. We all hopefully have plenty of it.

Let’s use it, let’s make changes no matter how small.

Remember this quote:

Time, we have plenty of it

I hope I haven’t come across as patronising or anything like that, this is never my intention. I was just mystified at advertising targeting a period when people naturally give, however missing out on the other 11 months of the year. Mind you I guess they are targeting an audience and getting it right.

Im going to wear that coat a lot more during 2025

Have a safe and peaceful holiday period, wherever you are and whatever you do. Stay safe. Peace

Anger and hate – Why?

I’m not going to answer today’s daily prompt as WordPress sometimes asks some quite pathetic questions. Who really cares what my 5 favourite foods are or what the last things are that I did for play purposes. If you want to get some good interactions then ask about real life issues, if you want to know what someone has had for dinner then mosey on over to Fakebook or one of its sibling sites.

Today I’m talking Anger and hate, as I’ve experienced it big time in the last few days and I don’t really understand why.

I work hard. Very hard and it’s a thankless task at times. In my job I have to keep transport moving and people safe, however, occasionally one collapses and the other suffers. A young girl with serious issues, had this week presented herself, wandering out onto high speed train lines wearing just pyjamas bringing the system to a halt. I’m one of the first on scene, I arrange protection for everyone ensuring that trains aren’t moving near us and we then go about the task of recovering her and getting her to a place of safety. We achieve this and after a short while she is taken away and given support from a medical team. She is safe, it is all that matters, a life has been saved and it’s about as good as a day gets, but then I meet members of the public who’s travel plans have been ever so slightly disrupted, and it is disturbing and disgusting what I now experience.

“Why didn’t you just let her get hit by the train?”

“She’s ruined my F***ing day as I’m now late”

“People like that deserve to die”

I could go on, and the personal abuse I received questioning my parentage was not much better. It was pure bile and hate and that is why I ask why is there so much anger and hate about today?

What have we become as a society when your lives are arranged in such a way that a small delay brings out the absolute worst in you.

Why is so much anger present in society, even I walked away from this situation and wondered why I had even bothered.

I never use the word “Hate” anyone in my family will tell you that, and I will always pull someone up when they use that word. It’s an awful word, and there is far too much of it in this world. Dislike is a simpler word and can always be worked upon to improve a situation. It’s always easier to turn dislike into something more positive, however hate is a cancerous word that that can rarely be eliminated, it poisons the mind and very quickly kills all manner of rationality.

I work alone, I help get teams together to achieve common goals, the main one being to get transport from point “a” to point “b” safely. Sometimes we are challenged and have to work hard to achieve this goal, but we are always doing our very best. We work in the background and you probably wouldn’t even see us on a daily basis keeping everyone safe, but we are always there, always looking out for issues. Always looking out for you.

But it seems there is (hopefully a minority) an underbelly of society who are so selfish, that they are a danger to their fellow humans, they seem to have lost all reasoning, and common decency and this seems to be eating away at our core values as a social and caring society.

It’s been a tough week and I dare say on the run up to Christmas and just beyond that we will, experience more of these incidents. But guess what?

I will be there, I will do my job, I will put an arm around each of these individuals ( if they allow me) and tell them that I care and that I will be with them whilst they are my responsibility, they need this. I will think about them, no doubt for a long time after the incident and wish them all the very best.

For the irate passenger though I will feel sorrow, for the way they feel and act, and I will dislike that, however they can easily change their ways and become that better person.

Be that better person yourself, don’t hate upon anyone and just try to make life that much better for someone less fortunate, you just don’t know what they are going through.

You will feel a warmth in your body that you may never have felt before. That’s peace and contentment. Spread that feeling, this old world needs a lot more of it.

Have a safe and happy day.

My Primary school teacher

Describe a man who has positively impacted your life.

This is an easy one for me. And to save repeating myself I will just refer you to an earlier post I made back in 2023 regarding this man.

Thoughts 25/3/23

That man was a teacher, absolutely the most influential man I have had the pleasure of coming across in my life. I had a questionable upbringing and my own father could have held this accolade, however he failed in most aspects of both mine and his life. He was a nasty, jealous and dangerous man.

Mr Twelftree however stepped up to the plate and was the polar opposite of my father. He was an exceptional teacher and mentor.

This man has, and will forever be the most influential person I have met in my life. The teaching profession has such an effect on young lives, and here I am 45yrs later still holding a torch for this man and his profession. He is an exceptional man, I would love to shake his hand and simply say, “Thank you”.

Stay safe, stay humble.

The total opposite

Is your life today what you pictured a year ago?

I like to normally stay upbeat, but these recent prompts have really got me thinking. I know everyone wants to see the “Yes my life is perfect” answers, but I’m afraid you’ll have to head to Insta and Fakebook for those replies. To be honest looking back at the last year it’s been fairly “Shit” to be honest.

Now I’m not going to fill this post with my woes and issues as there are a lot of people out there that have had it a damn sight worse than me, but the question has been asked and I have to answer it truthfully.

The family is on the point of breaking up due to “family” things, there has been illness, emergencies and grief by the bucket load, however myself and my wife have managed to keep smiling through it all, hiding exactly what we feel on the inside. As I have stated, there are others out there that have had it a lot worse, and to be honest my thoughts and prayers lay with them. Being a strong willed couple, my Wife and I can overcome much that life throws our way, and hopefully we have enough left in reserve to help others who may not have that support to fall back on.

So yes, we’ve had a bad year, just like a lot of people, but we have also learned from our discomfort, pain and uncertainty.

So through mild adversity we remain united and strong, and that is a good sign….isn’t it? I guess all is not that bad, once you have faced the pain and issues head on.

Stay safe everyone.

Loss is forever

What skills or lessons have you learned recently?

No skills but a valuable lesson. It’s a strange one and you’ll probably think I’m a right ass but it hit me straight between the eyes I tell you.

I was standing staring at a picture of a dearly departed and very much loved family member that I was very close to. It suddenly hit me that I will never ever, see or hear this individual again. I don’t know why this occurred but it was just like a wave of undeniable acceptance swept across me and it shocked me.

I have my faith, that I question frequently, but it gives me comfort, and part of that comfort lies in believing I will meet my loved ones once again. But the question now is will I?

Can’t answer that I’m afraid as can no one else, I guess the truth will unfold on the day of my last breath. My god, that will be a day of truths if ever there was one.

It was just such a strange and unexpected moment.

Stay happy and humble.

Just three?

Name your top three pet peeves.

I’m sure we can all list a number of pet peeves that wind us up on a daily basis, but for me the ones that trigger me are:

  • Incompetence, in work, sport and all aspects of life, especially so called professionals who should be oozing ability and who struggle to just manage the basics.
  • Ignorance, those in a position of responsibility who just turn a blind eye to the needs of others hoping the whole issue will just go away. Supposedly these people are the high flyers, but to be totally honest are only interested if there is something in it for them.
  • Rudeness, ties in neatly to the two points above. If you can’t say anything nice then just don’t open your mouth. There’s an old saying that goes something like this, “ Put your head into gear, before you put your mouth into motion.” Some people could learn a lot from this. Quite simply just take 5. 5 seconds or 5 minutest, it’s up to you just think about what you say. And in this world of delicate souls it could make the difference to someone between feeling appreciated or totally destroyed. Do not go out there to ruin someone’s day, you just do not know what’s going on in their life.

Peace to you all. Have a great day.

One – alone

Who are your current most favorite people?

We moved into the East Midlands approximately seven years ago, I came up with my wife and my dog and they were, and still are, the most important in my life. However that has changed since the passing of my dog in August. My family unit has changed. I still have my wonderful wife but I now feel vulnerable in a way, as there is no one else. I have no friends up here only colleagues and the recent passing of my dog has made me consider that I am only one tragedy away from being alone.

I am a person who likes my own company, but I’m not looking forward to having that forced upon me. My future seems quite bleak in that aspect but I’m just going to have to prepare for that day I guess.

When you start losing the ones you love it’s as if you are personally having the love and support you are used to, gradually being ripped away from you. It’s a horrible situation that I don’t think that life ever prepares you for, and you will always be caught out by it.

Appreciate what you have. And protect that with all you have.