My mother on her death bed bless her, turned to me and my wife whilst we were beside her and said, “You are a wonderful couple”
The last few words this beautiful soul ever spoke and they were to the both of us. It is the most precious memory I hold and the finest gift I have ever received. It was like a moment of full flowing love and appreciation, we were in her thoughts at the very last moment of her existence.
Some gifts do not come in a physical form, sometimes a gift is given in a form that just cannot be replicated, a real one time special offer, exclusive just for you. And this was ours.
Often talked of by us. Never to be repeated, but forever remembered and cherished.
The last words of a much cherished and kind hearted soul who made and shaped my world. My mother. ❤️
The gift of words, original and heart felt, and very much exclusive.
When my parents were at my current age it would have been 1986. They were probably doing their best to just get by, and they both had multiple jobs. I remember a few details from this period as there were some significant goings on around this time.
My mother would have been a shop worker in a local store as well as a cleaner at the company i worked for. I would have been in the photographic industry about four years at this time, i would have had a darkroom in the spare bedroom and would have probably been on my third computer at this point. I’d have ditched the Sinclair ZX81 and the Commodore Vic 20 and I’d probably be trying to master the Amstrad CPC464. I loved the start of the computer era, as did a lot of my friends at the time.
I had my first SLR camera around this time and that would have probably been a Praktika. I was saving as much as i could, to try and purchase my all time favourite camera at the time, and in fact it is still my favourite of all time to this very day. A jet black Canon A1.
I know that i was heavily into photography at This time, as i took one of the most iconic photos i have ever taken in my family history, of my father. I have it to this day. He was leaning on a coal bunker in the garden, it was a beautiful sunny day and i took it, and processed the film and enlarged the photos in my little darkroom in the spare bedroom, on a Gnome enlarger. It was a black and white photo and it represented a turning point in all of our lives.
He had just had a heart attack, and he suffered a deep immersive depression that he never really came out of. Please don’t misunderstand me he lived for another 21 years with no other medical issues, however he had changed and became highly abusive to my mum, my little sister and me. He was heavily into alcohol at this stage, and we were paying the price. I had to grow up quick as i became the protector of my Mother and sister, it was hard and i was not prepared. We were the only ones at home at the time as my two elder brothers and elder sister had all left at that point, and boy how we suffered big time. Our lives were changed the very day his heart attack occurred.
He was a very good electrician, he had been an aircraft electrician but was now working for a local building company, he was also a part time baker.
In the next few years my mother would lose all her brothers and sisters as time took its toll. Father would lose his mother and sister and the family began to dwindle in size.
But thats enough of the bad as its all in the past and though i never forget what happened, i have to move on with my own life for purposes of maintaining sanity.
I loved the 80”s as the world was opening up and starting to develop technologically, however i do believe the older generations did struggle. It’s strange really as it is a mirror image for us older generations today, with some of the things that are going on around us currently. Perhaps all generations have their own Groundhog Day periods.
Here are some points of interest that also occurred back in 1986
Plans were announced between the UK and France to build the channel tunnel
The space shuttle Challenger exploded just after its launch
Halley’s Comet makes a show
The Soviet Mir space station is launched
Microsoft goes on the stock market
The Chernobyl nuclear plant explodes
Argentina wins the World Cup
The M25 motorway – The UK’s biggest car park opens officially
A lot happened that year and these are just a small selection of them. However the dynamics of my family changed that year and what occurred from that point on will never be forgotten . WordPress really couldn’t have chosen a worse time line to talk about for me than this one I’m afraid, but then, it’s good to get it out there.
However, time moves on, wounds heal and we all learn. This is why it is important that we don’t erase our past, otherwise how will we ever learn to be better people and treat others with the mutual respect and belonging they all so rightly deserve.
Personally my biggest influences amount to no more than a few people and one profession. Let me explain.
My Mother, she went through absolute hell in a marriage where she was beaten, abused and used like a carpet. I did my best as a child to protect her and like to think I did that well. She was still being abused well into her Seventies by a horrible jealous man who masqueraded as a husband. I dislike that man, as I have previously stated in a previous post I am unable to hate, I feel sorry for him and I’m sure he received his judgement when he passed over. At least I hope he did. Mother taught me patience and kindness, i absolutely love and adore my mother, and this week was the 20th anniversary of her passing.
My wife. She has this year kept the family together, she has saved a friend from harm. She has rescued that friend from the precipice, cared for her, seen she gets helped and spoken with her four or five times on a daily basis until that friend has been repaired, and brought herself back to a place where she is happy. My wife continues to impress me and make me so proud as she is a wonderful, beautiful soul that I believe was put on this earth to help people. She was unable to be a mother, something she would have truly excelled in, but she treats every child as her own and has beautiful relationships with youngsters, she guides and protects, she really should have wings on her back as I’m sure she was put here to serve that purpose. I am so proud of her and I know I have been gifted her presence for a short while, and I so appreciate that, I am a very fortunate person. And I so love her.
Anyone who teaches. You are very special and underrated individuals who deserve so much. I was most fortunate to meet the most influential man in my life who was a teacher : My Primary school teacher. Anyone that teaches deserves the utmost praise and respect, it is these unselfish individuals that shape this world and shape individuals into respectable members of society. You make the people who will go forward and shape this world. You make the world a better place. Anyone who just offers good advice and comfort to someone should pat themselves on the back.
We all have a role in society, we can all influence someone.
Have a peaceful day, have a wonderful holiday period no matter what your faith is or where your beliefs lay. Be that better person. Peace.
Foxes Den 