In what ways does hard work make you feel fulfilled?
I’m of a generation that in general was a working generation where hard work was the norm if you wanted to get by. The computer only started to appear in its most basic form when I was in my last year of schooling, the mobile phone didn’t appear until a good few years later.
I think I’ve mentioned this before but I’m an individual who always has to be occupied with something, as I hate wasted time. My work involves a raft of different capabilities, I’m a classic “Jack of all trades and master of none” if that makes sense. My job is to get things moving on the rail network, that means calling in different skills and abilities to ensure the goal of getting things moving is achieved.
At home I’m always switched on and have to be doing something even if that’s a hobby activity to keep the mind busy. I have days off from work and the wife will openly tell you that if I don’t do something that I class it as a wasted day, I have to be busy.
However it’s become apparent over the last couple of years that this type of attitude can’t continue, if I’m tired the body is telling me something and I must rest. I had a little episode about 18 months back when I awoke one morning with horrendous double vision and then lost my sight for a few hours, now that was scary. It appears I had a type of mini stroke where a small bubble entered the fine blood vessels behind my eye causing the issue. That day my whole outlook changed and though I still like to keep busy, I have changed my ways somewhat and rest is now incorporated into my down time. Nothing is more important than your health.
So I’m still fulfilled by keeping busy, but now that has had to change to being fulfilled by keeping happy and healthy.
Too many people before me have worked themselves into an early grave. I don’t want to be another number in that statistic.
Again today we’ve been going through a whole raft of photos and we’ve chosen this one to sit alongside Alfie’s ashes. It’s a lovely photo of him with his head on the first stair, looking up at us getting ready as we’d told him he was about to go “Walkies” it sums him up perfectly. Beautiful boy 🥰
Alfie’s ashes – new picture
The second one we received as an anniversary present from my sister in Lancashire. It’s a lovely hand drawn pencil picture by a talented young lady of all our three boys. Bottom Left is Muffin who we had at the start of our marriage 33 years ago, bottom right is Digger who was next, and on the top with his trademark cocked head is our little Alfie. This is the only picture my wife wants on the wall of the boys as it is the three of them together.
The three boys. Muffs, Digs and Alf
What memories we have, and thousands of pictures to look back on and smile. We were so privileged to be gifted these three wonderful little souls. We have been so fortunate and lucky.
List three jobs you’d consider pursuing if money didn’t matter.
Throughout my working life I’ve done a multitude of jobs and a lot of them you wouldn’t get thanked for. I’ve had the ethic that I’d do any job and I have done that, from cleaning drains, emptying sewer pits and industrial deep cleaning. Thank less jobs but as I said I didn’t have the “I’m not doing that” attitude. Sometimes when you and the family are on hard times you just have to do it.
But for the sake of doing a list, here are three jobs I’d do for nothing.
Work in a Hedgehog sanctuary
Build traditional hedge fencing
Go around and repaint all those houses that people have painted grey. (It’s so 80’s) – (I apologise to anyone who has a grey house or especially grey windows. Nothing personal, It’s just up here in the East Midlands everyone seems to be going grey and i think there is enough grey in this world without adding to it.)
And that’s it for me, a little light hearted list of jobs I’d do for nothing. Especially the first two.
Today has been a so so kind of day. Here in the East Midlands it has been wet yet again. We have had so much rain in the last few days that apparently we have had four times the average monthly rainfall in just three days. It’s very wet to say the least.
Hence at work this has caused me problems today. People just don’t understand the effect water can have on the passage of a 2000 ton train, the water can undermine the stability of the tracks so when we have flooding, thats when the speed restrictions come into place. And my day today has involved completing a number of these checks to ensure all is well. On top of that i have had to deal with failed point work in the Melton Mowbray area as well as attending to a broken down train. It’s been a busy day, work started just before 05:30 and by the time i got back to base it was about 14:00. No breakfast today, no lunch as I didn’t get the time. Not too worried with that as we do have quieter days where we can do all of that. It’s all swings and roundabouts, give and take it works both ways.
Back home the wife has been playing catch up with the washing, not happy that due to the wet weather she cannot get the washing out for a blow, hence the conservatory looks like a London wash house as she engages the dehumidifier to dry everything inside. Good things these dehumidifiers, especially in an old house like ours, no damp here as a result.
The sister in law popped over with some old black and white negatives that she has found. She’s planning an anniversary gift for her husband as they have been married 55 years – it’s their Emerald wedding anniversary. He’s been a scooter fan since he was a teenager and still has one to this day, she’s unearthed a negative from when they first went on holiday together and its one of him sitting on his first scooter. I have a scanner so i was able to scan the negative and send it electronically to be printed, and i will collect it tomorrow. Meanwhile she and the wife have ordered a nice emerald trimmed frame that will arrive tomorrow for me to put the picture in. Her husband will love it, it’s a lovely memory and you can’t beat that. I love gifts that have had a lot of thought go into them, they don’t have to be expensive, but they can mean the world to someone.
We took a massive kick in the pants today when a very dear and lovely family member called to tell us she was undergoing investigation for that bastard big C. It’s only early days so we are all hopeful that it’s been caught early. She is so hard working she has learning difficulties and I don’t think she fully understands the seriousness of what she has been told bless her. We are here for her, and she knows she has our combined love, prayers and anything else we can do to help her through this damned unfair stage of her life. We love her so much .
We’ve spoken about Alf a lot today, its been lovely and we’ve uncovered more photos of him today, isn’t it funny that you get these photo memories come up on your phone that you’d completely forgotten about? His ashes sit on a shelf in the living room, and we talk to him as if he is still here. Well to be honest he is here, he was a massive presence even though he weighed littlle more than 6 kilos at his peak, he will be with us forever, and when we pop our clogs we will all be blended together in a big pile of ash to be distributed over one of our favourite places as a family. We will always be together.
Our Alfie
I was wandering about aimlessly earlier so the wife banished me to the conservatory to do some of my hobby stuff, i was able to fault find a unit I’m working on and tomorrow i will start to do some soldering and tidying up. I also had a work colleague come into work with a set of lights that need fixing, he’d heard that i do this stuff so I’ve managed to land another little job to keep me occupied, it all helps to maintain the sanity and keep the grey matter active.
Overall it’s been a good day, with a sprinkling of the downright unfair, there has been plenty going on and I’ve kept active, just as i like it. But tonight my thoughts are with my dear relative who has had awful news today. I said this journal would be a load of chat about everything and nothing really, but sitting here typing this has made me look back at the day and realise that i have achieved stuff, may be nothing major, but it is so easy to sit down and say you did nothing today.
Write it down and watch your day unfold in front of you and say – “Yes, i did plenty of stuff, and i achieved something today, and people need me.”
Spread joy and happiness throughout the world? YAWN 🥱
There is so much we could do more of, personally it has always been a challenge for me to be a better version of what I am. My good lady challenges me regularly asking why I think this, and to be honest I just look back at my father and compare myself to him, he was a nasty horrible man.
She keeps telling me there is no comparison and I’m nothing like him, but to me I can see comparisons and that’s what I don’t like. That’s why I challenge myself to be better than him, and constantly try to do more of that.
He’s been dead getting on for twenty years now, and he haunts me to this day.
I could certainly do more of dropping the demons and getting on with what I have left. It’s a fight.
And it looks like that’s what I’m destined to do, more fighting.
What’s the best piece of advice you’ve ever received?
You can give this question a lot of thought and really overthink it. I can think of a few items of advice that have struck a chord with me over the course of my life, but I don’t think you can get better advice than that instilled by your parents (if you had polite ones that is!) at an early age.
The simple advice to say Please and Thank you.
Three simple words that are basically the leverage you need to get on in life.
It’s a pity that they seem to be dwindling in certain sectors of our society, however it is still nice to hear them being said.
No seriously, keeping occupied keeps me energetic, as my good lady would tell you, she even said that this week when we were on an activity based holiday that I was a different person.
Hobbies are my go to, and I’ve let them slip recently as I’ve sunk into a pit of self pity. Last night though I sat at my work bench and fixed two old electronic items and fault found another and I really enjoyed it. It was a kick in the pants that I needed, thanks to my wife who had threatened to clear my work area unless I got back in there, I love her for that.
That’s the thing with me. When I have a day off I always feel it is wasted if I haven’t done something productive, I’m slowly getting to learn that some days you just have to simply rest and turn off. However I do struggle with that and can be a right pain in the ass sometimes, I guess in a way I’m afraid of giving up and just jumping on to some slippery slide that I can’t climb back up again. It’s stupid I know as in all reality I’m not really that old, I’ve been in the company of some individuals during the last week achieving amazing feats and some of them are well into their 90s, all wonderful people.
I’ve got to stop imagining the worst, and calm down a bit, rest sometimes is just as important as food and drink, the body craves it and your body must be listened to at all times.
Hope you are all well on this fine day (Grey and damp in the East Midlands) and that you too have a superb day. Enjoy every minute. Stay safe.
Pretty dull I’d imagine. Yes I love my silence, but I do have a soundtrack to my life like many people do. I love all genres of music, and to be honest, i listen to some pretty random stuff across the entire music spectrum.
But.
I do have a number of playlists that reflect my moods.
And I love playing them.
Music comforts, calms and allows things to be put in to perspective. It revives both good and bad times as well as having a motivational aspect that we all need from time to time.
Not sure what’s exactly meant by celebrating holidays but I’ll have a crack at it. Working the hours I do pretty much every day I get off is celebrated just like a holiday because those days are few and far between. They are very much days that are treasured and always spent with my wife and family.
If you mean public holidays such as “Bank Holidays” they are nothing special and to be honest I pretty much work every single one of them so no celebration there.
If you mean annual holidays then I still don’t quite get what is meant by celebrating them? Do you imagine that everyone is a crackpot dancing a jig and running around like a banshee just because they are on holiday.
I imagine just like me, most people celebrate in silence, just happy that they’ve made it to a holiday and to be in the company of those they love. And no more work for that period of time.
Foxes Den 
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