Tag: family

1986

What were your parents doing at your age?

When my parents were at my current age it would have been 1986. They were probably doing their best to just get by, and they both had multiple jobs. I remember a few details from this period as there were some significant goings on around this time.

My mother would have been a shop worker in a local store as well as a cleaner at the company i worked for. I would have been in the photographic industry about four years at this time, i would have had a darkroom in the spare bedroom and would have probably been on my third computer at this point. I’d have ditched the Sinclair ZX81 and the Commodore Vic 20 and I’d probably be trying to master the Amstrad CPC464. I loved the start of the computer era, as did a lot of my friends at the time.

I had my first SLR camera around this time and that would have probably been a Praktika. I was saving as much as i could, to try and purchase my all time favourite camera at the time, and in fact it is still my favourite of all time to this very day. A jet black Canon A1.

I know that i was heavily into photography at This time, as i took one of the most iconic photos i have ever taken in my family history, of my father. I have it to this day. He was leaning on a coal bunker in the garden, it was a beautiful sunny day and i took it, and processed the film and enlarged the photos in my little darkroom in the spare bedroom, on a Gnome enlarger. It was a black and white photo and it represented a turning point in all of our lives.

He had just had a heart attack, and he suffered a deep immersive depression that he never really came out of. Please don’t misunderstand me he lived for another 21 years with no other medical issues, however he had changed and became highly abusive to my mum, my little sister and me. He was heavily into alcohol at this stage, and we were paying the price. I had to grow up quick as i became the protector of my Mother and sister, it was hard and i was not prepared. We were the only ones at home at the time as my two elder brothers and elder sister had all left at that point, and boy how we suffered big time. Our lives were changed the very day his heart attack occurred.

He was a very good electrician, he had been an aircraft electrician but was now working for a local building company, he was also a part time baker.

In the next few years my mother would lose all her brothers and sisters as time took its toll. Father would lose his mother and sister and the family began to dwindle in size.

But thats enough of the bad as its all in the past and though i never forget what happened, i have to move on with my own life for purposes of maintaining sanity.

I loved the 80”s as the world was opening up and starting to develop technologically, however i do believe the older generations did struggle. It’s strange really as it is a mirror image for us older generations today, with some of the things that are going on around us currently. Perhaps all generations have their own Groundhog Day periods.

Here are some points of interest that also occurred back in 1986

  • Plans were announced between the UK and France to build the channel tunnel
  • The space shuttle Challenger exploded just after its launch
  • Halley’s Comet makes a show
  • The Soviet Mir space station is launched
  • Microsoft goes on the stock market
  • The Chernobyl nuclear plant explodes
  • Argentina wins the World Cup
  • The M25 motorway – The UK’s biggest car park opens officially

A lot happened that year and these are just a small selection of them. However the dynamics of my family changed that year and what occurred from that point on will never be forgotten . WordPress really couldn’t have chosen a worse time line to talk about for me than this one I’m afraid, but then, it’s good to get it out there.

However, time moves on, wounds heal and we all learn. This is why it is important that we don’t erase our past, otherwise how will we ever learn to be better people and treat others with the mutual respect and belonging they all so rightly deserve.

Have a lovely day, everyone.

Thanks, again

I have already thanked everyone on 26th January this year for your kind support on getting me up to 100 subscribers on this site. It really is appreciated and today I need to thank you again on getting me to a 10k views notification.

Thank you 🙏

I’m not a consistent blogger as my posts vary greatly, I know there is quite a range in quality but I make no apologies for that. I’ve always suffered with quite severe mood swings due to a number of factors that I won’t dwell on here, and this site was created as an extension of the journal I used to write at home. That journal had some extremely worrying matter in it and I always encouraged my wife to read it, (As I’m a bloke who doesn’t openly talk) and as a result she pulled me out of some deep ravines and I am eternally grateful to her for that. That said I decided to take the Journal one step further and it is now online for all my family as well as you good souls to see. As a result you will see the good and the not so good, but believe me I am in a much better place for having you all around me.

Thanks for just being there, you will never understand just how much it helps.

And yes, I do talk more and I suggest everyone who is suffering in silence breaks that mould, and talks to someone. Do not please suffer in silence. And I’m always here to lend a listening ear.

Eternal thanks to each and every one of you.

Peace 🙏

Work

Do you need a break? From what?

I think I wrote a good time back about creating a good work life balance. I actually stick to that and I’m now enjoying a good separation from my workload much to the displeasure of my bosses who seem to think you are contracted to work for them 24hrs a day, 7 days a week.

Now I don’t like to disappoint people, however excessive hours were affecting both my family life and my health and ultimately that combination would have probably finished me off, and that’s no good to anyone. Now they have me working at my best, and most productive and a recent yearly review was very complimentary to me and my work ethic. So that’s a good thing👍

The real answer to the question that I’ve been skirting around is that I need a break from Work. I’m probably a couple of years away from retirement now, and I’m so looking forward to that. We already have plans in place and I’m looking forward to that final day I leave work and close the door for the last time.

I’ve done my time, it’s now time to give the youngsters a go. Let’s be honest we are only ever numbers at work, and the minute you leave someone else will be doing your role, without there ever being a second thought for you.

You’ve done your time, paid your dues it’s now time to go and enjoy your autumn years.

Peace.

A day with those who have gone before

Describe your most ideal day from beginning to end.

If just for 24hrs you could be with those you miss the most, those who have gone before you who have left you with so many unanswered questions, this would be the perfect day.

To spend more time with loved ones, to walk another mile with them, hold hands and just look at that reassuring smile, how lovely would that be?

Talking with them to the point that comfort and assurance is restored and having those doubts and worries brushed away. To know they really are happy, well and worry free, and that you are loved and still looked after, wouldn’t that just be perfect?

The end of the day would come, you’d be upset for sure, you’d say gentle goodbyes, but this time you’d be smiling, what a difference to the last time you parted company. You could now live the rest of your life free and without the worries and doubts of your past to haunt you. No more grieving.

Never again to ask the question, “What if?” as you’d already have the answers.

What a lovely day that would be❤️

Work – Life balance

What do you enjoy doing most in your leisure time?

I thought that i may have answered this prompt in the past, but it seems i have not, well done WP, something original.

Like most people my leisure time is important, it’s only in the last two to three years that i have genuinely separated my free time from work time. I’ve definitely created a work – life balance and it was long overdue.

Taking just today for example, the wife has gone out to one of her ladies gatherings, I’m sitting here typing this, and very shortly i will be going out for a couple of miles of walking on what seems like a nice sunny winters day. We’ll have some breakfast when we return, i shall tinker on a project or two and then we will get ready a little later as we are out with family tonight for a “Burns night” supper, as my wife has Scottish roots from her mothers side of the family. No doubt this will involve a few drinks and should be a thoroughly enjoyable evening.

My leisure time is always the complete opposite to work, I don’t worry or stress, and any day away from work is treated like annual leave, yes it really is a holiday where i do whatever i want whenever i want, nothing is out of bounds, even if it is only for a day.

And thats how it should be. The old adage is that life is so short, live for today, don’t fret about tomorrow and just bloody well enjoy yourselves.

Sing, dance do whatever, don’t be embarrassed, the chances are that the people around you watching you have fun will never bump into you again. And if they do, they will remember you as someone just enjoying life.

What’s to lose? Just those ties that hold you down, just shake them off.

Have a lovely day.

Laughs & Giggles

List five things you do for fun.

Good morning all. I’m having to get my thinking head on today for this one, not that I don’t have fun, but when put on the spot like this you have to think the answer over. There are probably things that I call fun that others out there would probably find nauseating and strange. Hey, we are all individuals and it would be boring if we were all the same. I’ll do a little list now but it’s not an exhaustive list, this is only a list of things I might do. I’m sure there are plenty other activities I can turn to:

  • Football: Been following my team Leicester City, through good and bad in excess of 30 years now. Unfortunately, now is a bad spell but that’s the trials of being a fan of any sport. And I love having a Balti pie and a pint, or in winter a nice hot cup of Bovril. It’s tradition.
  • Walking: to be honest haven’t done a lot of late but I’m already planning some nice walks to do in the next couple of months. There is nothing better than getting out there into nature and just drinking it all in. You have time to think and clear your mind, and it’s probably one of the best and healthiest activities you can get involved in.
  • Art: I love art and have a genuine appreciation of anyone that gives it a go. I’m really bad at it but I’m a trier. let’s be honest some of the worlds finest artists must have been bad at some point, it’s just I’m making an art of being bad. It gives me immense joy and satisfaction just creating something, so it can’t all be that bad….can it?
  • Holidays: My wife and I have found that since our dog passed away we now have a lot more time and availability on our hands. We are now taking a good few holidays and having more short breaks away. We love each other’s company and that’s a good place to be. We have holidays in Iceland, Uk and I believe we are planning one to the Caribbean later in the year. I say “I believe” as the wife is concocting a plan with her cousin for the big holiday at the tail end of this year.
  • Family days/nights: Our families are quite spread out around the Uk/Sth Africa/ Australia so it is rare to get a good gathering of the clans together. When it does occur as it did around July last year it is pure carnage, but good old fashioned raw fun and laughter. You need this every now and then to charge the memory banks. Here’s to the next one.

And that’s probably that, for now, I think these activities probably rate in my mind as the five things I most enjoy participating in, for fun.

Have a great day everyone, may peace and joy radiate throughout everything you do.

Our total love and devotion

If you could make your pet understand one thing, what would it be?

As I’m sure, anyone at all that pays any attention to what is written in these posts, will know we lost our best friend Alf, our beloved pet dog on 16th August last year. There’s probably a lot of you out there who are probably saying,“ For gods sake man just get on with it”.

Easier said than done I’m afraid. If you read the facts and figures, animal grief is just so real, especially in an animal loving country such as ours.

I’ve never really experienced it in such a manner before, but this time we’ve really struggled. I think I summed it up at its peak here: Is there a cure for a broken heart 💔 . There are a number of other posts about him but this one sums up the raw feelings when we lost him.

We’ve never been able to have children in our life, it’s complicated. Especially when you spend your life with the most wonderful woman who would have made the most fantastic mother, it really is heartbreaking to see her interactions with children and the love she shows them. Then in the quiet moments I really see how it affects her. All I can do is comfort her.

Alf – our little fellah

This is where Alf strolls in. He was to us, what was always out of reach, a kind of surrogate if you like. It was fate how we found him and he had the starring role in our lives for eleven beautiful years.

To answer the question: If I could make my pet understand one thing? It would be:

You were our love, our confidante our life. Our most precious companion. And we miss you so much.

Yes it’s more than one thing I know. But when a kindly loving soul enters your life and has such an effect on it, you just can’t label them with one singular credit, one word, It just can’t be done.

Life is a strange voyage. Sometimes when you can’t have something, you are blessed with the most perfect alternative. I believe we were blessed. His time came and he had to move on. I just hope some where, another couple who have maybe suffered similar issues as we did, are now experiencing some wonderful “Alfie” time. That little fellah truly had wings.

Love you for always lad.

Peace.

Rinse and repeat..

What is your favorite animal?

Just like a record on repeat or just like a commercial radio station, or even like a moon orbiting a planet WP starts repeating its daily prompts, you could almost set a clock to it as it has such amazing regularity. This particular prompt was last listed on 23rd November 2024, not that long ago.

So unlike WP I will save the bother of re writing my answer, and just post links to the relevant blogs below. If you are busy and don’t have the time the simple answer is: Dogs are my domesticated favourite whilst Hedgehogs are my wild favourite. There, I’ve saved you some time and gotten myself some brownie points with you.

For anyone interested in hanging around here are some links to previous blog posts including that one for the same question in November last year.

The humble Hedgehog

My World

Is there a cure for a broken heart 💔

These are just three of many posts on the subject. The last one really sums up how I feel after the loss of a wonderful family member. The struggle goes on.

Peace

Just another reason to not go wandering

I’ve seen this news article and it just strengthens my reasoning to never visit Australia.

I have relations in Sydney who were over here about 6 months back. They are constantly trying to sell me the dream and trying to get the wife and I to visit. I’ve always been of the opinion that everything that lives there wants to kill you, both big and small and this article just broke the camels back as they say.

Article courtesy of Skynews

The attraction for me is less now, after spending over 24hrs in the air do I really want to face my biggest fear – Spiders. I’m not just afraid I’m totally petrified of them, we don’t have venomous ones here in the Uk, but all the same if you see a guy running down the road screaming its probably me as the wife deals with the issue…she really is the brave one.

Whilst speaking to Cousin Bob who is a builder on the outskirts of Sydney, he was casually trying to convince me to travel by saying that in all his time there he has rarely seen a large spider, however he said just watch for the little “red backed bastards” (pardon my language). Why? What will they do? I asked. “Ah they’ll probably kill you” he casually replied.

My mind was made up. Never going.

Happy day everyone 🕷️

Mental photographs

Think back on your most memorable road trip.

My wife and I have always had a great understanding of what we class as memorable moments. We don’t even have to tell each other it’s memorable, we usually say to each other, “I’ve taken a picture”.

This isn’t a physical picture where you’ve lined up a camera for a snap, this is a mental picture, one of those special moments you store in your mind and in your life forever.

Akamas peninsula- Cyprus

One particular moment comes to mind one fine September day many years ago on the island of Cyprus. We were staying at a beachside hotel in the area of Chlorakas a few miles to the west of Paphos. We had gotten through a particularly bad period of our life and were away on holiday, just resting. This day we just grabbed a couple of chairs, a couple of drinks and then walked up on to a small hill to watch a glorious Cypriot sunset, and believe me there are not many better sights to view in your life. Here we sat alone, holding hands watching this glorious sight until the light faded and the dusk took hold. We continued just talking until it was time to make our way back for dinner. It is probably the most beautiful and peaceful moment I can ever remember, where for a fleeting moment we were the only two people on this wonderful planet enjoying a beautiful moment in time.

Mental pictures, that is what we collect, and we often both recollect these wonderful moments in our lives.

If you have wonderful memories, you need very little else in life, memories make you rich beyond your wildest dreams.

Have a wonderful day people.