What experiences in life helped you grow the most?
My father was a demon. Consumed with jealousy towards my mother she couldn’t speak to anyone without being questioned about her motives. Most of my formative years were spent as a youngster protecting her and my younger sister from his rage. Going to bed at night as a young teenager with a metal bar under the covers to be ready to go at him should he fly into another of his rage’s leaves a scar on my memory to this day, almost 40 years later.
I always stated that I would never be like him, and all these years later I think I’ve done ok. My life is better than his, I have achieved more than him and I have never raised my hand to anyone especially a female in my entire life, so in theory I think I have won.
He still haunts me in my dreams though and it is as if I am still being challenged by him even though he is no longer here.
I’ve grown from this experience, no child should ever have to suffer this amount of emotional abuse, no female should ever have to live through that constant fear of an abusive partner. No man should ever be capable of such coercion.
But it happens.
Just not in my life anymore… I’ve grown.
Stay smiling, you are a beautiful person who deserves happiness.
Foxes Den 
You need to deal with that experience. These night mares are flash backs. I am glad you are not him and you choose to be a better human being and a good fathet to your children. Seek professional help to divorce the iniquity of your father. We all deserve to have our voices and power and owm our authority without toxic memories. The function of sleeping is to get your body, mind and soul to relax and ready for the next day.
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