My father, not for obvious reasons

If you could be someone else for a day, who would you be, and why?

I’d like to be my father for the day. Not because he was someone who could be admired and loved and cherished, he was none of that. He was a nasty evil man that made my mothers, my younger sisters and my life an absolute misery.

I would like to know what made him tick, what was his reasoning and did he ever consider getting help for the way he was.

I’d kick start that change even if I could’ve been him for a day. He has ruined my life and still haunts me in nightmares to this day. Never was I more pleased when someone passed away, it’s a horrible thing to say but my life began in earnest that day. However my faith and beliefs tell me we will meet again one day and that is what bothers me now, I’m not prepared for that..

His evil ways, I carry as a burden everyday.

As a child it is not right that you have to be protecting your mother from abuse and a little girl for being downright petrified of her own father. As for what I endured it goes to the grave with me.

I’ve always said to my wife I want to be a better man and be nothing like him. I’ve managed that well, I have never raised a hand to woman in my life and will never do so. My mother was a punchbag and far too many times it was me that absorbed those punches as I tried to protect her.

I have moods occasionally and I put them down to being like him, and I dislike it when someone says I look like my father, there is no one I’d rather be.

It’s a curse to be honest, and here I am just a few small years away from retirement still paying the price, and very much afraid.

It’s not fair. Domestic abuse is not acceptable, it affects lives for longer than you can imagine, it’s probably going to be with me way into the afterlife. It’s a life and death sentence. And he is the winner. It’s wrong.

Peace to you all.