Balders

Canon AE1 35mm SLR

A sympathetic restoration of a 70s classic camera.

This is a Canon AE1 that was produced around May 1977. I know this because of the date code within the spool area where the film sits. Seeing these units were produced between 1976 – 1984 this particular unit is quite an early one. It is currently 48 years old and looking very good.

This camera is part of a batch of cameras recently received from a good friend of mine Jon, who has been in the photography business for more years than he cares to remember… it’s a big number and that’s all I’m saying. I did discuss his very kind donation here: Cameras…i need more!

How did you date this camera?

Surprisingly quite easy. There is a number on most Canon cameras externally, and contrary to belief this is not the ID number, the id number we require is inside the camera, printed in the film spool bay in a very dark ink. You have to position it in the light to view it properly.

The number can consist of 4 or more digits. In my case the number is R519. If you go to this site by a guy called Bob Atkinson he has a chart here that explains how to source the date of your Canon Camera or lens: Bob Atkins Photography- Date codes

So using Bobs code the letter “R” refers to the year of manufacture and in this case represents 1977 or 2003 (the dates were recycled when they reached the end of the alphabet) seeing this camera’s production run was between 1976 – 1984, “R” in this case represents 1977. The next two digits represent the month of manufacture, and occasionally in months 1-9 the preceding zero was omitted. In my case considering the number 51 does not represent a Month, the zero was omitted in my case therefore making the month of manufacture “05” hence month 5 – May. So this unit was more than likely produced in May 1977. Occasionally there would be a final letter such as an “F” that would represent the factory it was made in. “F “ would have been the factory in Fukushima. See, that’s how I dated this unit. Check Bob’s site out and date your Canon equipment.

Anyway, here’s a little history about this superb little camera:

The Canon AE-1 is a 35 mm single-lens reflex (SLR) film camera for use with interchangeable lenses, manufactured by Canon Camera K. K. (today Canon Incorporated) in Japan from April 1976 to 1984. It uses an electromagnetically controlled, horizontal cloth focal plane shutter, with a speed range of 2 to 1/1000 second plus Bulb and flashX-sync of 1/60 second. The camera body is 87 mm tall, 141 mm wide, and 48 mm deep; it weighs 590 g. Most are silver, with black grip and chrome trim, but some are black with chrome trim.

Its name refers to the fact that it is an electronic camera using aperture control for automatic exposure. The AE-1 is the first SLR containing a digital integrated circuit, which allowed Canon to integrate more functionality while making the camera smaller.Both the digitally-controlled automatic exposure and the small size helped to make the camera a success: backed by a major advertising campaign, the AE-1 sold over 5.7 million units, which made it an unprecedented success in the SLR market.

Wikipedia

So there is a lot of them about, but it’s rarer now to find one in a good condition. I think I have one that is in a good condition, has very slight signs of ageing (Patina) and shouldn’t take too much effort to get it working again.

Let’s have a closer look at my inherited camera.

Assessment:

It’s been in storage within a foam lined metal box for a few years and this appears to have assisted in maintaining its overall good quality. There are a few slight signs of wear that are present as you would expect with a camera that has been well used but cared for, but there are no major dinks or signs of bits being broken. It has been loved.

Looking at the shell all the buttons are doing what they should, it’s a bit dusty and grubby and looking through the viewfinder you can see a lot of dust in the view, but I believe this is just dust on the mirror, or at least I hope so.

The camera has attached to it a Canon power winder “A” and this does not work, it has serious corrosion that I suspect that has gone behind the contacts and will need dismantling, cleaning and rebuilding. I will cover this activity in a separate post, whilst this one covers the camera and is a separate activity.

Anyway back to the camera. The wind lever seems to be locked, it can’t be cocked. The shutter doesn’t fire but there does seem to be movement in the exposure meter in the viewfinder but it seems erratic, not quite as it should be. I have a feeling and in fact I’m quite confident it is an electrical issue, as with the Canon A1, a bad power source would render the entire camera useless.

Repair:

With my suspicions about the electrical element on this camera the first thing I did was to do a battery check in the camera. This camera has one cell in it, mounted on the front face just to the right hand side of the lens in a small chamber. It is a 6v lithium battery. I suspect this one has been in place many years.

To check the battery power you look through the viewfinder at the light meter to the right of your field of view and depress the little black button on the top left of the viewfinder on top of the camera.

As you can see above, when you push the little battery check button the needle on the exposure meter moves. It may settle, it may move about, but the battery should be indicating below the 5.6 level to prove it has life, this battery is indicating dead. Let’s confirm that on an external battery checker for confirmation.

And I think that confirms things for us that this old battery is dead. Fortunately I have plenty of replacements available so I just put a new one in to see what happens.

The new battery is in place and now you can see the indication has dipped well below 5.6 indicating a healthy battery supply. I push the shutter button and it fires perfectly. Power has been restored.

The lens on this camera is pretty much the stock issue FD 50mm. I have removed it and exposed it to high lighting levels to see if there are any imperfections and I’m pleased to say there are none. No Mould or fungus build up, I must admit my friend who passed this on to me has stored it perfectly. Apart from a little dust build up, I was able to use a lens cloth on both the lens and mirror and the issue was sorted in minutes, not that it was ever an issue really.

I’ve used a dummy film and the carriage works fine, the lens apertures all react smoothly, and the shutter speed’s respond as they should. There is no shutter scream or lag, and everything seems just right. After spending a good few hours going through the instruction manual and checking all its functions I am happy it is doing just what it should. It is very rare to find such a good condition of camera that requires very little maintenance. It’s a credit to the previous owner.

This is a sympathetic restoration. I’m leaving it looking as it is. I’m not fixing something that isn’t broken, and I will attend to it with lubrication and maintenance as and when it is needed. I will very soon run a roll of film through and see just what comes back as a result. I have a number of films here that are now 20 years out of date so there could be some interesting results.

Result:

The camera has cleaned up beautifully after a good deep clean and polish. I have a superb little example of a well loved and well used retro superstar of the late 70s. In perfect working order and ready once again to be used for what it was designed for. Taking great photographs.

As stated I’m going to run a film through and I will post the results on here whenever I get the time to do so. See the test results here: 20yr old Kodak Gold

My plan is to have this displayed in a case in my workroom alongside my Canon A1 when I have completed its repair. I took up photography in the period of time that these cameras were produced, and they hold great memories and sentimentality for me. They come from a time when cameras had style and innovation, before they all started to look the same, quality and style, it’s what’s missing today.

For someone like me that loves old cameras, I think these are superb and will always hold a place in my heart.

Thank you for passing by, it’s always very much appreciated.

Sadly, I don’t…very well

Give me a radio any day. But I’m a sucker for useless information

How do you manage screen time for yourself?

To be quite honest, in this activity, despite all my good intentions, my management of screen time is sadly, quite poor.

I’ve probably mentioned many times in the past that I do not watch a great deal of television. The occasional football game, the news and maybe a documentary or two is about all I care to watch, in total hourly intake, it’s probably no more than a few hours a week. I have always been more of a radio person, I’d sooner have a radio on as a background accompaniment, I’m an audiophile before being a videophile that’s for true.

But, my downfall is a thirst for knowledge, or useless information, which ever way you look at it. This little box of tricks that masquerades as a telephone, currently in my mits, being frantically typed into with squinted vision is my downfall.

I do a lot of research for a number of reasons, study, hobbies etc, but I’m easily distracted, too easily distracted in many cases. If something funny or humorous pops up, I’m hooked like a big game fish on a long line, and I’m fighting all the way.

The whole social media thing doesn’t really get me excited in any way, apart from WordPress maybe, or an occasional foray into YouTube, I really don’t do the social media thing. Why’s that? You ask, it’s bloody toxic I tell ya, and to be honest I can find enough drama within my own family structure without getting involved in anyone else’s, and to be truthful, blatant nastiness just isn’t my thing. I like to think I operate at a much higher level of respect and kindness than what I witness in those turgid cesspools of nastiness.

We’ve tried all kinds of house hold bans on the phones such as banning them from the bedroom, these work for a while and then they gradually start to creep back in again so we simply just give up.

I guess like it or not it’s here to stay and we have all become totally engrossed with the modern technology readily available in our pockets.

I don’t think, as I suspect is the case with a lot of people, that we manage screen time well at all. It seems to me that screen time is managing us, and we’re all in just a little too deep to be able to come up for air.

If you want control it then you need to take control of it, and be stubborn and harsh and direct, with firm actions to control it. Once you’re hooked though, it’s goodnight Vienna, no amount of stubbornness is going to help you back up.

And on that note, have a wonderful day. (Whilst reading this on your phone, tablet or whatever – see, you’re already fighting a losing battle)

Yes I do, don’t you?

Do you need time? I think you do, we all do. If we want to be here a bit longer

Do you need time?

Silly question.

I need time to get out of bed in the morning, due to the amount of obstruction caused by clicking bones and straining joints, yep I’m about to enter into a new decade where I get free medications, and eye tests, so I can only expect things to be uncomfortably rolling downhill from here on in.

But all joking aside it’s good to have time. I’d love to live forever as I do enjoy life but that’s never going to happen is it?

We all have time but to be honest it’s borrowed time isn’t it? As we just do not know what awaits us just around the corner.

At the risk of sounding morose, I’ll up the tempo a tad.

It’s always good to take your time and not be rushed into things, important decisions especially, such as big purchases, investments etc. Take time, think it over. You get the picture.

At work we have a superb safety protocol called “Take 5”. In the past we’ve had too many people, especially the young and inexperienced, who want to impress, rush straight out onto live train tracks only to find they are now face to face with a 2000 ton behemoth freight train bearing down on them at great speed, believe me it’s not a great position be in. New underwear please!

By just getting a bearing on where you are, knowing your position of safety, being aware of the people you need to be in contact with, and establishing a safe method of working, means you live to work another day.

The above paragraph applies pretty much to how life should approached, don’t you think?

I knock my company just like all my other fellow employees do, in fact it’s a well known thing that worldwide we all knock our employers from time to time. But the fact I have worked with them for half my adult life says that things can’t be all that bad.

And when it comes to answering the question “So do you need time?” They’ve got it exactly right, they’ve changed the way we think.

Stay safe, have a lovely day.

I’ve taken a dive….

I’ve taken the dive into 3D printing

Into the world of 3D printing.

Yep, I’ve mentioned this in the past on a number of posts that I have made on this site. I have spent a small fortune paying people to print missing battery covers, camera crank winders and other parts such as cogs and circuit board standoffs, some purchased from as far away as Italy, but now I will soon be able to do these prints myself.

I must admit that I am a total novice in this realm of activity, hence I chose to go with a recommended user friendly starter printer.

It’s quite a significant birthday milestone for me in a few days time, and last weekend my wife arranged a pre-birthday party for me where many old friends and family came together for a quite enjoyable evening of dancing, drinking and going over old times together. It was a lovely evening. I received many, kind gifts that evening, and that is what has made this purchase possible, brought by friends and family if you like.

However, the good lady wife has stated that it must remain in its packed state until the house move is completed🤞

She’s not buying into my protestations that there will probably be a newer, and better model out by then.

Hey ho, I’ll just have to be patient.

Have a super day everyone.

Cameras…i need more!

I say more cameras, my wife begs to differ.. my friends agree with me.

Well, my wife would probably disagree with the above comment.

However, i have some very good friends who are quite happy to ignore my wife and her protestations. Some would say they are very brave…others would even say they are foolish. Time will tell.

A couple of beauties – you wouldn’t understand

Jon, is a friend and former work colleague that i have known for many years. We both worked at the same Kodak plant in Harrow, me on the graphics art film production track and Jon was in the training and development area. We rarely met there as the plant was so huge that our paths crossed quite infrequently. However Jon has also been the mainstay and life blood of a local football team since the early 70s, and it’s true to say he is a local legend and pillar of the community. This is how i really met Jon, and we have always discussed issues of photography, he is very much involved with promoting the armed forces and has been fortunate in the subject matter he has been asked to photograph. Needless to say, he has a lot of redundant equipment, and when he became aware of my blog site and the repairs i attempt to do, he very kindly donated a number of items for me to write posts about, and to be quite honest it will keep me busy for quite a long time.

The majority of the items probably just need a little service and a test session, a couple have some battery corrosion issues, but in general cosmetically, they are in good condition. We have a number of old lenses, but as you’d expect from someone who looks after their equipment, there isn’t a sign of haze or fungus in them. They just need a clean up, and very little else.

Here’s a list of what i have received, and observed after a very quick look at the items.

8 cameras:

1 Canon AE1 film camera and user manual, mirror was stuck, now freed up and firing ok but requiring a check over.
1 Canon EOS 30 film camera, a bad case of sticky body.
1 Canon EOS 10 film camera, issues unknown
2 Canon EOS 500N film cameras, issues unknown
1 Canon EOS 3000 film camera, issues unknown
Canon EOS 1N film cameras with E1 power drive, beautiful camera, issues unknown.
Canon EOS 7D digital camera with BG-E7 battery grip, stunning camera, issues unknown.

7 lenses: all Canon fit

2 x Canon FD 50mm 1:1.8
Tokina 300mm 1:5.6
Tokina 135mm 1:2.8
Tokina 35mm 1:2.8
Canon 75-300mm 1:4-5.6
Canon 28-80mm 1:3.5-5.6

There is a separate lens that i have been asked to look at and repair for him as it’s his third go to lens, that is a Canon EF 28-200 1:3.5-5.6 USM lens. It doesn’t focus in auto, i notice it has lens wobble and a lens washer appears to be exposed in the zoom section of the lens. It needs investigation.

Other items:

Canon Power winder-A. Part of the AE1 camera, you can smell its issue as you hold it, battery corrosion. Batteries inside have seriously corroded, however i believe the issue is salvageable.
Canon speedlite 199A flash gun, untested.
Metz 45 CT-1 flash, again there is corrosion in the battery pack, you can smell it. Again this should be salvageable.
Sangamo Euro master light meter and invercone. In excellent condition, could be that the selenium light cell is dead. Needs investigating.
8 rolls of film, expiry date 2005, may still work..who knows.
3 x 6v lithium batteries, all tested and working.

Add to that the two camera bags and a hard case that they all came in and I’m sure that you will agree that it was a pretty nice package to receive.

I’m extremely confident i can get these all into a good working condition, any cameras that i will not be keeping will either be sold on to benefit charities supported by Jon or donated to local charities for their benefit. Either way nothing will be heading to waste, that is a promise i have made to Jon and thats just how it will be, i do not break promises.

Thanks for passing by, and i will be posting articles on all these products in the coming months. As I already have 13 projects already in draft awaiting a time when i can back to repairing them, you can plainly see I’m going to be very busy for quite a while and should be able to supply quite a regular feed to this blog.

Have a super day. stay safe.

Don’t stop playing

Don’t stop….

What does it mean to be a kid at heart?

Play.

I’m going to answer this as briefly as i can. I heard this quote a few days ago but had never heard it before. It’s from George Bernard Shaw the Irish playwright and critic.

There is some truth in this, I guess.

But to be honest I just want a cup of tea and a quick nap at the moment. I’ll leave the playing to the youngsters.

Goodnight all 😂👍

Now be truthful

It’s good to dream, and even better to achieve

You have three magic genie wishes, what are you asking for?

Truthfully, and from my own personal point of view it would be: eternal happiness, better health and a guaranteed life security for my family.

In keeping with the majority of the population and at risk of sounding like a contestant in the Miss World contest it would be: Respect for all, World Peace and the end to famine.

The second paragraph though made up for political correctness and to pacify a world TV audience is probably what, in truthfulness, we would all want, and to be honest, if it could be obtained then everything in the first paragraph would easily be achieved.

With no mention of money.

If everything in paragraph two was achievable, you’d be amongst the richest people in the world. We all would.

Worth thinking about and considering, isn’t it?

Have a lovely day.

Sleep? Nah who needs that?

Sleep, who needs that?

I do….

In my endless search for something relevant to chat about, I have today stumbled upon the topic of sleep. As I am just not getting enough of it.

Insomniacs of the world unite and lift those drowsy heads.

I know my problem, well I think I do. I am a shift worker of 30+ years now, and in 30 years I’ve never been successful at managing the transition from working nights to doing the day shift. It’s now 06:20 on Monday morning and I finished my long run of night shifts at 6am last Friday, 72hrs ago. I’m about to go into work to start another “productive “ week.

So I’m finishing at 6am, I sleep until about 1pm and then I’m up, do what I have to do and then head for bed about 10pm feeling sufficiently tired and all prepared for a good night sleep. That isn’t going to happen tonight though is it? A little voice in my head decides that at 2am it is a good time to wake up, and wouldn’t you know it, I’m now wide awake.

I’ve been a tad stressed lately as well and that contributes, I’ve had some medical issues develop that are also compounding things but in the greater context, I’m struggling to understand just what the issue is. Oh, and physical activity has also dwindled somewhat lately.

At 2am I fish out my headphones and put Spotify on my phone to listen to some relaxing sounds that guarantee to have me asleep in minutes, excellent, I’ll have some of that.

Two hours later and I am still awake, what I have just listened to sounds vaguely similar to the music you’d expect to hear in a funeral parlour, at times I felt as if I was the cadaver just lying there for my family to inspect. Weird, so I won’t be using that again!

Sometime between funeral introspective time and daylight I must have drifted off for a while, as I was woken with a cup of tea and my wife questioning why I had headphones on. Last night was not much better as we had a windy night here and one of the neighbours gates was banging about causing me to wake up, just as I’d drifted off. I’ll casually mention that today to him with the polite suggestion that if it is not sorted out, my cranky self will probably nail the F***er shut so it doesn’t happen again. I’m sure he will sort it out, once again restoring neighbourly calmness and balance.

Over the 30 years or so of working shifts, I have tried probably, every way of trying to transition from nights to days, and it just doesn’t work, for me at least. If I get up too early to try and force my body to tire early, the wife says I get cranky, if I don’t sleep on the first day of transition at all, I apparently become one of the living dead. I just can’t win.

I’ve probably answered my own questions in the paragraph above, and I requote:

I’ve been a tad stressed lately as well and that contributes, I’ve had some medical issues develop that are also compounding things but in the greater context, I’m struggling to understand just what the issue is. Oh, and physical activity has also dwindled somewhat lately.

There it is. How do you manage that transition, as I’m all out of ideas? I can address some of the above but I just need to manage my days better to achieve things, but work gets in the way. Shift work is a silent killer in my eyes, as Johnny cash once sang: “I l owe my soul to the company store”

And to quote another song, “ I can’t get no sleep”

I’m knackered.

Have a super day. Sleep well.

Blah blah….

When everything in life lines up perfectly to cause maximum confusion

Have you ever had one of those days where you are determined to write something but just don’t know what to write about? I’m having one of those days today, I don’t even know what the title of the post is, hence I’ve just called it Blah, blah as a draft title.

I might keep it at that.

I look through all of the posts that i subscribe to and I’m immensely impressed by the frequency that some posters write at, you guys are so organised and regimented that i can be nothing more than mightily impressed. And i am. Well done all of you.

This site, as i have stated previously, on many occasions was put in place purely as an extension to the journal i used to keep by my bedside. However it has also extended to be a journal of my hobbies and interests, in no way was it ever to have a professional “Air” to it and to that extent i have been very successful.

I’m inherently aware that lately i have used this medium to whinge and moan about a number of things, one of those is the process (or should i say endurance) of moving home in the UK. Before you shut your computers down and redirect to a site on do it yourself lobotomies, I’m not going to go on about it too much in this post, i promise. I might just touch on it a teeny tiny bit, sorry.

So let’s get it over with. After the collapse of the chain on Monday, a new purchaser was in the frame by Wednesday, who had previously viewed the house and loved it. They were disappointed that we had sold, and left instructions with the agent that should things not work out then they would be happy to step in. Their dream came true and on Wednesday they officially committed to purchasing, however the price they were offering was lower than we wanted, you can’t win them all i guess. The whole process rides on them coming back again early next week, and to be honest it could still fall flat on its face. And it probably will. However the wife is now in a better state of mind and we have had some good discussion on how we carry things forward. Things are good, and we have plans. Either way, whatever happens it was meant to be. Just roll with the punches, that’s life.

See i told you it would be brief.

Now, health. I don’t normally talk health as it’s no one’s business apart from mine. And the wife’s. I’m fast approaching a landmark birthday, and as you get older, things start to happen. Things that make you question yourself, ”That’s never happened before”. Well, somethings occurred that has made me contact the doctor. And if you live in the UK you would generally understand that, that alone is no easy task. To partake in the 8am lottery to get a doctor’s appointment is no task for the weak hearted. How ironic, as that is exactly what my problem appears to be. The ultimate test of strength and endurance.

You get on the phone at 8am when the doctor’s appointments line opens, within 3 minutes you are number 32 in the queue, and at this point you realise there is probably no point at hanging on as you are not going to get to see anyone today. Just remain incapacitated and try and call back tomorrow, there’s a good lad!

No wonder many people just say, “sod it, what’s the point” and that’s probably why at this stage our entire hospital and A&E system is at bursting point. Crazy. The NHS is such a diamond, but it’s at a straining point that can’t be sustained, it just can’t handle the demands put upon it, and its the every day man and woman on the street that will eventually pay the price.

The good news is that prices for cremations have dropped in price, a classic sign of supply and demand being in perfect harmony.

My head is full of bloat at the moment, and i just had to unload some of it here, how do you writers put it all into some type of order? That’s what I don’t understand. Where do you get your motivation from?

My entire life is packed into boxes at the moment, and i really do miss the activities that gave me a little bit of artistic licence, I’m on all the auction sites at the moment just itching to push that “Buy now” button, but its hard….very hard. I already have 13 projects on WordPress currently in draft mode, awaiting completion but this entire process of moving home has sent my anxiety and patience levels through the roof, but I’m keeping it together somehow, i have to stay strong for my wife. However she is in exactly the same situation as me, and at times she well and truly puts me to shame. Selfishness has no position in a stable relationship, we are partners, and partners share the burden, rethink your attitude, refocus and share the burden. Simple as that.

So that’s today’s rant put to paper…or the cloud, and do i have a suitable title now? No I don’t. So Blah, blah it is then.

Stay safe. Have a beautiful day.

Thank god I’m a coward

There’s nothing wrong with being a coward. There are some risks just not worth taking.

What’s the biggest risk you’d like to take — but haven’t been able to?

Twice in my life I have been a coward. And I’m quite pleased that I was, in fact I have great comfort in being a coward, it has made me a better person. I took a risk on two occasions, but I was unable to follow through as intended,

Twice in the past I have tried to take my own life.

I’m writing this post, so as you can see I was unsuccessful.

Thank the Lord.

I took a risk, I didn’t want to take it, but was prepared to do so.

When you finally get to those places and times in your life, when you just can’t take no more, rational thought and actions go out of the window. For some reason you are unable to see a good outcome, nothing can release you from this blanket of blackness that has now surrounded you and has become your cocoon, the item that protects you from the outside world. Your waiting room between here and the other side….whatever and wherever that may be.

My first attempt was an overdose, I was only a teenager, probably about 17 – 18 years old, the result of a failed relationship that I probably thought was the best thing that had happened in my life, it wasn’t, that occurred about 7 years later when I met the love of my life who is with me today. Being a coward then, made me realise what I would have missed out on if I had not been a coward that day, life truly does get better, I was a teenager, I had little life experience but was ready to throw away the best and most precious gift I had ever been given – life. It’s that simple.

The second time was probably back in the early 90s, I was on the railway as a train guard/revenue officer. I had in a small period of time had a knife pulled on me on two separate occasions, I had been assaulted, and was also followed home where my home had all of its windows smashed – all because of the work I was doing. I duly had a breakdown. People who were friends and colleagues distanced themselves from me, in the 90s the mental side of things was a taboo subject, and I was now the target for ridicule and derision from those I worked with. I wandered on to the tracks of the north bound Northern line underground at Euston station, and was saved by a friendly individual working in the same business as me. I was very ill and was taken home, the only help i received was being given a couple of weeks off before resuming work in a light duties role with some of those that had only weeks before ridiculed me.

I had only been married a few months when this had occurred and I remember the reaction from my wife when she found out, she was beside herself, she had not known how I felt, I disguised things so well and she was rightly angry with me for not talking to her. But that’s not the done thing for us blokes is it?

But I was willing in those moments to give up on everyone who loved me, how bloody selfish was that?

Again though, I looked back again and thought to myself, what the hell are you doing? Those problems where solvable, they didn’t need to overwhelm me so much, nothing was that bad.

And there is where it lies.

Nothing is that bad that you really have to look at ending it all to solve your problems. I realise that now, and I’m so inherently thankful that I have that “coward” gene set firmly within my psyche.

When I think of all the fantastic things I have seen and done, all the wonderful people I have had the pleasure in meeting in that time, this would not have been at all possible if I’d decided to carry those actions out in the past.

I see the kids stressing out over exam results, struggling to meet their parents expectations, and thinking that they are failures, unfortunately you always hear of a few who succumb to that black cloak of depression. I just wish I could have a few minutes with them to just let them know how needed they are and how fabulous they are going to be. It’s such an unnecessary waste of wonderful people.

It’s strange to know I am still in the business of the railway, and to be honest I spend much of my time either reaching out to individuals or being the first on the scene when they are brave enough to carry out their final actions under that awful cloak of depression. I always say a prayer for them, and I sincerely hope they are at peace, but at the same time I also feel immense pain for those they have left behind asking that unanswerable question, “Why?”

I’m glad I’m a coward, and that my risk taking is minimal, I’ve been to some very dark places in the past, but now I handle things a great deal better. I love life so much, I love those around me and value the most simplest of things. Nothing is more precious than life. All life.

Sometimes you have to venture close to the edge to really appreciate just what you have got.

If you ever wobble, if you ever have those dark thoughts, reach out to someone. I promise you, nothing, nothing at all is really that bad.

I’m here. I’m a coward, and by god am I pleased about that.

Stay safe. Be kind.

How did you date this camera?

Assessment:

Repair:

Result:

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