Inappropriate headwear and exceedingly hot sauce.

It’s been a lovely weekend with family and friends staying with us. It’s been sun all the way on what is a bank holiday weekend in the UK, but as is tradition here, the closer it gets to bank holiday Monday, the rain is starting to arrive.

And it caught me out last night when I had to make it to the garage to get some beer, for my guests as stocks were getting low, my headwear was highly inappropriate for the weather. See this small video below:

A box is probably not the most appropriate headwear in wet weather, it gets soggy and when it falls over your eyes causes temporary blindness when you are trying to put the key in the lock. Yes I was a fool.

But that was not my only foolish activity this weekend. No, I had to surpass myself in the art of Tom foolery.

We visit a local farm shop, in itself a pleasant experience where I manage to get a lovely Fuchsia bush for my garden. Then we went into the farm shop.

Here there was a display asking you to sample a range of quite hot chilli sauces, ranging from mild to bloody ridiculous. All the family declined the offer, but silly me decides to go right in at the deep-end and sample the hottest one on display. There was a subtle clue in the product name. “ Crazy Bastard sauce” I just wish I’d read the tasting notes below the bottle that you can see in this picture below.

5 flames plus. I should have known better. I spent the following hour thinking a hole was developing in the roof of my mouth trying to make its way to by brain, my lips and gums were numb, my speech was impeded and I was dribbling, to be honest I was a mess at the amusement of the rest of my family. Lesson learned. Would i recommend it? As a paint stripper and general rust removal solution it would be fantastic. As for making your food taste better, I’d give it a wide berth to be honest.

But nicer things were to come. Whilst all sitting around the table, one of the younger members of the family and her fiancé approached me with a small black box with my name upon it. This is for you “Dave”.

After stating that it’s not my birthday for another six months, I was told to stop yapping and just open it. They get married in a beautiful part of Portugal in 2027 and they have asked me to be the Officiant at their wedding. I jokingly replied that I’m not a priest or vicar, but immediately said yes. How lovely and thoughtful, and wonderful that they would consider me to be a part of their big day.

The role of the Officiant is to guide the couple through their vows. They will be getting married officially in the UK in a private ceremony before heading to Portugal, so my role is non legal as they will already be legally married, I will be there to supply some continuity to those family members attending who are resident in Portugal or who were not in attendance at the official wedding in the UK.

Wow, I am so proud and honoured to even be considered for such a role, it means so much to me and to be honest my wife is completely over the moon about it. I think she is worrying more about it than I am at the moment, but in a good, let’s get this done and do them proud kind of way.

So even with over a year to go, it’s time to think it over exactly what needs to be done, and to think even after they have witnessed me wearing inappropriate headwear and questioning my lack of judgment with hot chilli sauces, they still believe I’m the right person for the job.

And that means the world to me.

It’s been a very good weekend.

Stay safe, be happy.